Top 62 Funny Son Quotes
#1. Rush walked into the room with Nate in his arms and a baby bag over his shoulder. That was funny shit. Rush Finlay, badass rock star's son, had a baby bag and a baby in his arms.
Abbi Glines
#3. My sons the same, hes terribly funny. Its a wonderful power to have. Its also fantastically disarming. Women find it unbelievably disarming. You can say the most astonishing things if youre funny. You can tell a woman that shes irresistibly attractive, but do it in such a funny way.
Robbie Coltraine
#4. I'm the son and heir to the Duke of Sardis. I could walk into that ballroom naked with Alcibiades balanced on my head, and they'd still want to marry me."
"Most likely. But if you try it, I'll horsewhip you on the front steps.
Rosamund Hodge
#5. Son, women are easy. They simply want everything. It's not difficult.
Penelope Douglas
#6. WHERE IS MY SON?" Uncle Antonio bellows, levelling the two AK-47s he's holding at the lot of us. "Get away from him, you bastards!
Jessica Khoury
#7. I have no doubt that you are more than capable of bringing the Monsean queen and my son and the rest of my sons and a hundred Nanderan kittens through an onslaught of howling raiders if you chose to.
Kristin Cashore
#8. Gundhrold's head lowered until his massive beak was only inches away from Amos's nose. "I am a son of the desert. This was once my home - the home of all my kind. I know every crag, every slope, every crick and hollow-"
Amos rolled his eyes. "Every blatherin' speck o' sand?
Gillian Bronte Adams
#9. The gummy bears tattoo was my idea. It's my son's favorite candy. The sketch was my other son's idea. It's a self-portrait of himself. I just showed the artist his sketch and had him tattoo it on my forearm. It looks like a stick person with big hair. It's pretty funny.
Prince Fielder
#10. I want my online content to be so good that Google's web crawler stops and says "Dayyyum son!
Ryan Lilly
#11. It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.
Gertrude Stein
#13. On his teenage son: To be honest, I'm not sure the same kid comes home each night.
John Bishop
#14. Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God damn you Brenda and Sonny for making me lose focus.
Tara Sivec
#15. What's your name, son?' Sam said. The man looked to be about Sam's age, but Sam always thought calling people 'son' immediately gave the air of imperial authority and opened the door for spanking if need be.
Tod Goldberg
#16. My boy and I move. We have this game where if we dress in a particular item of clothing, we have to do a different movement. A hat means 20 jumps - that sort of thing. When I put a scarf on, my son has to drop down and do push-ups, immediately. He thinks it's really funny.
Magnus Scheving
#17. Behold the Power of the peanut. His body mass may be small, but his influence is mighty. The last holdout in the Tower has officially fallen to him.
(Said by Pia about the effect her son 'peanut' had on the Sentinel Aryal)
Thea Harrison
#18. It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
Jon Stewart
#19. I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
Craig Ferguson
#20. The night before the Olympics opening ceremony, my son, who is eight years old, gets very excited and likes to put out a plate of cookies and some milk for Bob Costas.
David Letterman
#21. People want it to be red, like blood. It's kind of funny. When I used to throw meat into the audience, I'd get letters from kids' mothers saying, "What's the best way to get blood stains out of my son's shirt?"
Ozzy Osbourne
#22. June cackled with delight, muttering, "Whoops!" as a car almost killed them.
Rick Riordan
#23. I don't know anybody that has a teenage son or daughter who at some point hasn't been like, 'God, I hate them' just under their breath. It's not meant to be literal. It's funny.
Jaime Pressly
#25. Nietzsche- a weak but strongly mustachioed, Lutheran Pastor's son.
N.D. Wilson
#26. How are you doing, son?"
"If you don't get started, I'll rip out your heart and have it for breakfast."
- Michael to Solo
Gena Showalter
#27. On a crowded bus in Israel, a mother was speaking to her son in Yiddish. An Israeli woman reprimanded her. "You should be speaking Hebrew. Why are you talking to him in Yiddish?" The mother answered, "I don't want he should forget he's a Jew."
Kirk Douglas
#28. What are you doing now, you lazy drunken obscene unsayable son of an unnameable unmarried gipsy obscenity? What are you doing?
Ernest Hemingway,
#29. You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck.
Jim Denny
#30. Why didn't you say something sooner! I said He wasn't the only one disgusted. This is my first time on a horse. Really? Blaec said dryly, I couldn't tell. Oh just pretend its my son you're riding.
Sunny
#31. Annabeth dies, trying to keep her boyfriend, the Son of Poseidon, from drowning.
Rick Riordan
#33. - If you could describe my son in 3 words, what would you say?
- Sweet. Cute. Funny.
- That could be a description of a puppy she says dryly.
Mary Papas
#34. I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it son!"
Jim Gaffigan
#35. Son of a - Rora?" Blake slid out of the crater he'd just made in the wall. "Crap. What are you doing here?" He saw my wrist. "Handcuffs? I definitely want that story.
A&E Kirk
#36. My son is such a lover, such a caretaker and so funny. He's seven, and he genuinely cracks me up. And my daughter is a fearless powerhouse. They fill me with wonder and admiration.
Kelly Sue DeConnick
#37. Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.
Jack Paar
#38. Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
Shelby Metcalf
#39. I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.
Robert De Niro
#40. What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down.
Denis Johnson
#41. I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!
Rodney Dangerfield
#42. I'm so proud of my son for being so funny!
Susan Boyle
#43. We were surrounded by thirty-foot-tall giants who were about to kill us. Then the sky opened up, and the gods descended."
"Grandad," the kids said, "you are full of schist."
"I'm not kidding!" he protested.
Rick Riordan
#44. I used to laugh at that old wheeze about a man wanting his son to be better than he was, but as I get older it seems less funny and more true.
Stephen King
#45. Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!
Rick Riordan
#46. One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'
Mitch Hedberg
#47. Mr. Bazzard's father, being a Norfolk farmer, would have furiously laid about him with a flail, a pitch-fork, and every agricultural implement available for assaulting purposes, on the slightest hint of his son's having written a play.
Charles Dickens
#48. At this moment, I know that the answer has to be yes. I am defeated. By my own father. How Darth Vader.
Denis Markell
#49. She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny.
Elizabeth Gaskell
#50. It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?"
"Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund.
C.S. Lewis
#51. His son. That funny creature that looked like a skinned rabbit was his son.
Lisa Marie Rice
#52. "Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to be, if he was not so like his mother, too."
Charles Dickens
#53. It's funny, though, speaking of fathers and sons, because me and John Goodman played father and son, like, five or six years ago in the film 'Death Sentence,' and I got back with him again in 'Inside Llewyn Davis.'
Garrett Hedlund
#54. Oh my son! My son!" von Helrung cried. Now it was his turn to crush my master to his chest. "William! Your father has come for you!"
"I hope not! My father has been dead over fifteen years, von Helrun.
Rick Yancey
#55. The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic.
Dominic Chianese
#56. He was a bad, bad bastard. He abused the privilege of being a cunt, as my old Da would say.' I smiled, picturing the cozy fireside scene of young son on father's knee being inducted into the world of abusive epithets.
Craig Russell
#57. What's funny is I probably still have some calligraphy business cards floating out in the world, and I can't wait for someone to call me in a month or something, and say, 'Can you do these for my son's Bar Mitzvah?'
Meghan Markle
#59. The funny thing is while the grown-ups in the family may indulge, we really try to offer our son Duke clean food, as all his meals are made with organic ingredients as the rest of us eat cookies straight out of the freezer.
Bill Rancic
#60. For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.
Rodney Dangerfield
#61. Funny thing is, I didn't feel the least bit of sympathy for her ass. Had she taught her son what the fuck it meant when a woman says no, he wouldn't have turned out to be the way that he is.
Diamond Johnson
#62. Who doesn't love Game of Thrones? Sons of Anarchy is funny and thug-ish. I love Shameless. I just sit with my hat tipped, waiting for something to happen, more than going out after the shows.
Gavin Rossdale
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