Funny I'm A Lady Quotes

#1. Never met such a Gorgon ... I don't really know what a Gorgon is like, but I am quite sure that Lady Bracknell is one. In any case, she is a monster, without being a myth, which is rather unfair.

Oscar Wilde

#2. Did I just get psychically pimp-slapped by a little old lady?

Molly Harper

#3. Cordelia looked at Edric. "Which way will lead to our respite, think you?"
"I don't know, my lady," he admitted.
There was a pause.
"This way," Tania decided, heading off to the left and pulling him with her.
"Why?"
"It's downhill.

Allan Frewin Jones

#4. I had a job interview at an insurance company once, and the lady said 'Where do you see yourself in five years?' I said, 'Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me this question!'

Mitch Hedberg

#5. What I fell in love with as a child was 'My Fair Lady,' 'Funny Face,' 'American in Paris,' and 'Singin' in the Rain.' Just perfect movies to me and I was dancing. I started ballet when I was three. And I fell in love with those movies and fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and Leslie Caron.

Dianna Agron

#6. Somebody said, 'Get your agent to call the new Bob Cummings show. They're looking for a funny lady.' Within three hours, I had the job. That was January 1955. I had such fun with that show.

Ann B. Davis

#7. I thought the trees down in Lady Zelana's country were about as big as a tree could get," he said, "but the ones around here are so tall that they probably tickle the moon's tummy when she goes by.

David Eddings

#8. Like my old mentor would always say, Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and I'll be dead.' Okay, she wasn't a good poet, but that lady could handle her whiskey.

John Zakour

#9. It's funny when people say they see a lot of Madonna in me. I just feel so flattered because I love her and I am just her biggest fan. She is very strong. I love the way she does interviews -you know you won't get anything past her.

Lady Gaga

#10. You there, you look like a well-rounded lady, oh yes, and I mean well-rounded

TBBishiXO

#11. When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

Steven Wright

#12. Wait!" she cried, and she yanked away from him and gathered her heels and her ruined
purse. She slid the shoes on and straightened her shoulders. "I will go as a lady should," she claimed bravely. "In patent leather heels.

Abigail Roux

#13. Lokeij whistled. "Make the king's warriors vanish if
they come ... what a deceitful turtledove you are."
Aly smiled at the sky. "Oh, don't,"she replied in the
tones of a flirtatious court lady. "Stop, I insist. Your
flattery makes me blush.

Tamora Pierce

#14. She called me 'my lady,' " she told him in a plaintive voice. "I don't know who that is. I'm no lady." The last of his fury faded away to be replaced with a quick gleam. He peered under the sheet. "I can attest to that.

Thea Harrison

#15. A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have kill you too.

Jake Johannsen

#16. All my life I've been a lady bruiser, a wrong chooser, school refuser, drug abuser, born loser; clothes bummy, nose runny, it wasn't funny

Big L

#17. I can play a cat lady. I can't put my foot down and refuse to play anything but playing the perfect, well-adjusted woman, because those people aren't as fun or funny.

Sarah Baker

#18. You know I'm an actress, not just a funny lady.

Doris Roberts

#19. Sometimes I feel like I'm making a connection with a stranger, but then it turns out I'm not. Like, I was in a mall, and I saw this lady hitting her kid. So I went up to her, and I was like, "Yeah, get him!" She got all mad at me. I was like, "I'm on your side here."

Demetri Martin

#20. Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

Henny Youngman

#21. I know what I look like. I'm not a babe who's automatically going to be the leading-lady type. I think I would always be cast as the friend. I probably tend to look crap more often than I look good. I like messing around and pulling funny faces and doing funny walks.

Ashley Jensen

#22. I did not see myself as a leading lady. I thought I was really funny-looking and I would never be the lead, and I certainly would never do film or television. I wanted to do theater. I wanted to be the grand dame of the American stage.

Kathy Baker

#23. I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay.

Lady Gaga

#24. When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.

Elizabeth Banks

#25. I think I have a clue how much you love me now, Hop," I told him when he broke the kiss.
"Good to know, baby," he said through a grin.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"So far from a hardship, it isn't funny, lady, but you're welcome.

Kristen Ashley

#26. Before my mom decided she was a lesbian, I thought lesbians were all these really nice, earthy, crunchy, let's smother you with our twenty extra pounds of lady love and fight the power people.

Alison Umminger

#27. I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That's kind of silly. "Hey, Mitch, did you hear that story about that lady who drove her car into the lake with her kids and they all drowned?" "Yeah, I did, and you know what - that inspires me to write a movie about a gorilla!"

Mitch Hedberg

#28. I've never met anyone as quietly brave and strong as you. I've never met a woman so unassuming, so kind, and so selfless. You are a complex lady." His mouth curled up at the corners. "And you are smart, and passionate, and funny, and exciting, and you blow me fucking away.

Samantha Young

#29. There's never any graffiti in the hotel. Although in the Gents a couple of weeks ago I did see someone had drawn a lady's part. Quite detailed. The guy obviously had talent.

Steve Coogan

#30. So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.

Tommy Cooper

#31. I like being a funny lady. I think theres nothing sexier than a funny lady.

Maya Rudolph

#32. Lady, I didn't get up this morning wanting to be a jackass ... but you just pushed my jackass button.

Bill Engvall

#33. Alma: I rather suspect her of being in love with him. Martin: Her own husband? Monstrous! What a selfish woman!

Lady Randolph Churchill

#34. Hasn't anyone ever told you," Jesse asked, in a semi-amused voice, " that a gentleman never lays a hand on a lady?"
Which I thought was kind of funny, considering where Jesse had had his hand the last time I'd seen him. But I thought it better to let that slide.

Meg Cabot

#35. I watch vlogs on YouTube. I watch Jenna Marbles a lot - I think she's really funny - and a lady called Daily Grace.

Maisie Williams

#36. A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'

Demetri Martin

#37. Oh, Professor Lyall, are you making a funny? It doesn't suit you."
The sandy-haired Beta gave Lady Maccon a dour look. "I am exploring new personality avenues."
"Well, stop it."
"Yes, my lady.

Gail Carriger

#38. My grandmother raised me. She was a real no-nonsense but very funny lady. I drove tractors, made hay, milked cows, fed the chicken, fed the pigs.

Carol Bartz

#39. I rang the bell of this small bed-and breakfast place, whereupon a lady appeared at an outside window. "What do you want?", she asked. "I want to stay here", I replied. "Well, stay there then", she said and closed the window.

Chic Murray