Funny Fart Quotes

#1. Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Janet Evanovich

#2. If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

Thabang Gideon Magaola

#3. I'm out of the room in the next instant, like a man wanting breath, after suffocating through the horror of a burrito eating obese man's fart." - Emily Dolt

Nix Banner

#4. A fart in the face is love.

James Kidd

#5. Does not the passage of Moses and the Israelites into the Holy Land yield incomparably more poetic variety than the voyages of Ulysses or Aeneas?

Abraham Cowley

#6. If you are someone, you know, with fame, whatever amount, it's good to be married to someone who's not impressed with that at all.

Ray Romano

#7. But you know as well as I do that anger won't solve anything."
"I beg to differ," he shrugged. "Anger can be quite rewarding ... at least for those of us who have the option of blasting our enemies to oblivion.

M.A. George

#8. A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.

Michael Bassey Johnson

#9. What did you do?" "Blew up a fuel depot, stole twelve rockets and made off with them in a stolen van, got kidnapped by a maniac, and had dinner with a guy who farted fire." "That would be funny, but I'm worried it's all true." "It's been a long couple days." "Did he really fart fire?" Morelli asked.

Janet Evanovich

#10. Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.

Mark Hoppus

#11. Of course there are mothers,
squeezing their breasts
dry, pawning their bodies,
shedding teeth for their children,
or that's our fond belief.
But remember - Hansel
and Gretel were dumped in the forest
because their parents were starving.

Margaret Atwood

#12. Every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh.

Philip K. Dick

#13. I swear by the self-assurance with which elderly men sitting in public tilt sideways to allow the gas to escape loudly.

Pawan Mishra

#14. Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

Ryan Hansen

#15. I acted like Cary Grant for so long that I became Cary Grant

Cary Grant

#16. He had a real mother, and a stepfather named Bart who Martin called Fart but only with his brothers and James

Marthe Jocelyn

#17. Ela did you just fart? Because you just blew me away.

Mark A. Cooper

#18. I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

Frank Carson

#19. [the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that when I drove in the wrong part of town and it let loose with a gas fart, people actually ducked for cover.

Adrienne Wilder

#20. I was asked the age old question today: why are you an author? I suppose there are lots of answers to this question that would suffice, but for me there is really only one answer that will do: the blank paper taunts me, and I am weak.

Richard Due

#21. The mystic lives and looks; and speaks the disconcerting language of first-hand experience.

Evelyn Underhill

#22. Actions defined a man; words were a fart in the wind.

Mario Puzo

#23. If the method is able to liberate our land, to liberate our people from Israeli jails, to reconstruct what was destroyed by the long-standing Israeli occupation, at that time we can discuss.

Mahmoud Al-Zahar

#24. As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.

Britney Spears

#25. Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.

Jonathan Tropper

#26. I want to do it too!" said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless.
"Nope," said Nudge, shaking her head. "You stand out like a fart in church.

James Patterson

#27. That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny.

Faye Kellerman