Top 100 Dog'd Quotes
#1. Nothin's what it seems, drow!" Bruenor declared. "Nothin'! Ye try to follow what ye know, ye know? But then ye find that ye know not what ye thought ye knowed! Thought a dog'd be tastin' good - looked good enough - but now me belly's cursing me every move!
R.A. Salvatore
#2. I never knew words could be so confusing," Milo said to Tock as he bent down to scratch the dog's ear.
"Only when you use a lot to say a little," answered Tock.
Milo thought this was quite the wisest thing he'd heard all day.
Norton Juster
#3. Oh, I never kid about Artemis. I promised her I'd sit here and do nothing, so here I am doing nothing. Much like a really tall, bored guard dog. Personally, I'd rather be throwing myself onto an electric fence- be about the same, I think. (Acheron)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#4. There is a saying about relationships in Washington: If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.
Katharine Graham
#6. Dog owners are out in all kinds of weather. They tell you it's small payment for the love their dogs bear them. Some love. If that dog weren't on a leash, he'd be off after another dog, a cat, or any stranger walking along the street with a wet bag of meat.
Selma Diamond
#7. It can happen to anybody, getting all hung up on some twenty-year-old quiff. Like the little dog in the freight yard, and the train nips off the end of his tail and he yelps and spins around and it cuts off his head. Never lose your head over a piece of tail.
John D. MacDonald
#8. I had a guitar leaning against the wall and I'd squint at it. It was almost like a dog that had been kicked - I didn't think I had anything to offer it.
Feist
#9. If you were aboard a lifeboat with a baby and a dog, and the boat capsized, would you rescue the baby or the dog?" Regan, "If it were a retarded baby and a bright dog, I'd save the dog.
Tom Regan
#10. If I brought groceries the way I buy health insurance, I'd eat a lot better - and so would my dog.
Phil Gramm
#11. I'd just like to say that I have a personal disgust for small dogs, like poodles. I have some serious physical problems with them. Everything about them means I must kill them. I must.
Axl Rose
#12. One day I gave Clifford a bath. And I combed his hair and took hom to the dog show. I'd like to say Clifford won first prize ... but he didn't. I don't care. You can keep all your small dogs. You can keep all your black, white, brown, and spotted dogs. I'll keep Clifford ... Wouldn't you?
Norman Bridwell
#13. I always thought I'd adopt - I have a dog but no children.
Perrey Reeves
#14. The dog pranced delightedly around his feet as if he'd been gone to another planet instead of merely underneath a car.
Maggie Stiefvater
#15. What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight- it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
#16. You'd been petting a stuffed dog?' she said 'A dead one?'
'It was a really well stuffed dog' I clarified. 'I have seen some bad taxidermy. This was top-notch work. It would have fooled anyone.
Maureen Johnson
#17. I asked my vet what kind of dog he'd get. He told me, 'I'd get a Chihuahua, because when it died, I wouldn't care.
Margo Kaufman
#18. And his dick looks like a hot dog that got hit with a sledgehammer and sewn back together by a blind lady."
"Thanks, Port."
"You're welcome, D.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#19. Georgie was quiet. Neal had never slept with Dawn. She'd always assumed he'd had lots of fabulous young sex with Dawn. Freshly scrubbed Heartland-teenager sex. 'Suckin' on a chili dog outside the Tastee Freeze,' et cetera.
Rainbow Rowell
#20. I'd be a dog, a monkey, or a bear, or anything but that vain animal who is so proud of being rational.
John Wilmot
#21. A writer once asked what I'd say if i ever met my biggest hater. I paused, thought deeply and said, probably 'suk a dog dik, motherfuker
Ezra Koenig
#22. I lived at home off and on until I was 37. I have about a million college credits. I'd worry about writing about anyone else because I'd be invading their privacy, but you can use your mom and dad and their dog for everything!
Peggy Rathmann
#23. If we'd been edible we'd never have lasted this long.
Russell Hoban
#24. What does a man stand up to do, a woman sit down to do, and a dog lift its leg to do?" And then, when everyone was too embarrassed to answer, she'd triumphantly shriek "Shake hands!
Terry Pratchett
#25. Standing in the corridor was a large plastic bin on wheels. He looked inside. Empty tins of dog food. That explained the spaghetti with meat sauce. Oh well, he'd eaten worse.
Charlie Higson
#26. If I had one dog, I'd want a hundred. If I had one kid, I'd probably want a hundred. I mean, it's just the way I am.
Simon Cowell
#27. When I was working at Sony, I used to live near the beach. I'd get up in the morning, walk my dog, go for a swim with dolphins, and in 25 minutes I would be at Sony.
Jon Feltheimer
#28. If I had a dog, I'd train him to kill on command. And the command I'd use would be, "Is he friendly?"
Richard M. Weiner
#29. I write incredibly slowly. And, on top of that, I spent my entire youth and twenties working like a dog, so one of the things that happened when I finished 'Drown' was that I got busy living. I'd never travelled, I'd never seen anything. So I did as much travelling as my job teaching would allow.
Junot Diaz
#30. You're never the same after you run the Iditarod, and I still lust to go out and run with dogs, even though I know that I shouldn't. But I'd give just about anything to be able to do it again. To see the horizon again from the back of a dog team would be wonderful.
Gary Paulsen
#31. I also wouldn't mind if he tried out a little bit of what I'd read in chapter ten of the half-naked man book, especially the page I'd dog-eared.
Donna Augustine
#32. For the most part, I'd say if you crossed a cat with a smart dog, made him a matriarchal vegetarian, gave him sleek beauty, a mass of muscle, and the desire to run, then what you'd have is a horse.
Tom Spanbauer
#33. Max walked back to Beeson, sidestepping a slalom path of dog turds leading into the kitchen. He'd narrowly missed standing in a tepee of turds that looked too deliberately arranged to be natural.
Nick Stone
#34. I'd rather mate with a snake," I told her, which was pretty low as far as dog swears went.
Mark Tufo
#35. I'd love to do a character with a wife, a nice little house, a couple of kids, a dog, maybe a bit of singing, and no guns and no killing, but nobody offers me those kind of parts.
Christopher Walken
#36. I'd rather have a kid come up to me and tell me that he loves dinosaurs or he loves airplanes or he likes training dogs or I like Shakespeare. I mean, just something.
Temple Grandin
#37. I was so sure I'd heard the doorbell and simultaneously certain that I hadn't. How could a smart and competent 23-year-old not be able to distinguish the edges of dreams from the tips of reality? How had the picture gone so horribly blurry that I'd looked to a dog to regain my bearings?
Julie Flygare
#38. These Republican leaders have not been content with attacks on me, on my wife, or on my sons. No, not content with that, they now include my little dog, Fala. Well, of course, I don't resent attacks ... but Fala does resent them.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
#39. Pretending that Shiloh's a bear, tryin' to get in. The more they squeal, the more Shiloh wiggles about, tryin' to get his nose under the edge of the sheet, tail going ninety miles an hour. If that dog had wings, he'd fly, except his propeller would be on the wrong end.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
#40. If I were an athlete I'd be past my prime. If I were a dog I'd be dead. Thirty ... shit.
Jonathan Tropper
#41. Still, I'd like to know how you came up with that line of reasoning." "You can thank a rabbi," Javna said. "And a hot dog.
John Scalzi
#42. I take a sip of my beer, and it's - I mean, it's just astonishingly disgusting. I don't think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I'd rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin.
Becky Albertalli
#43. I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing.
Bill Maher
#44. He'd asked me to marry him. He'd kissed me. Twice. He said he loved me. What a scum, rat, dog bastard. I wouldn't sleep with him now if I was dying and the only thing that could save me was a penis injection from him.
Gena Showalter
#45. [I]n communism, you'd threaten a dog into compliance, while in capitalism, obedience is obtained through bribes.
Adam Johnson
#46. Whenever I needed a reassuring touch, Tuesday was there. He was my miracle dog. I already loved him and depended on him more than any other animal I'd ever known- and most other people, too.
Luis Carlos Montalvan
#47. small dachshund tore into his backyard carrying something in his mouth. The dog stopped about ten feet in front of him, and they stared each other down. Too well groomed to be a stray, it probably belonged to his nearest neighbor, a new renter who'd just moved in.
Shelly Alexander
#48. If a picture wasn't going very well I'd put a puppy dog in it, always a mongrel, you know, never one of the full bred puppies. And then I'd put a bandage on its foot ... I liked it when I did it, but now I'm sick of it.
Norman Rockwell
#49. My sons named her Bridget because that way they always had their sister, Bridget, with them. People thought we were nuts because on the phone they'd hear us say, "Bridget, sit!"
Peter Fonda
#50. I should say she didn't," said Mr. Macey, significantly. "Before I said "sniff", I took care to know as she'd say "snaff", and pretty quick too. I wasn't a-going to open my mouth, like a dog at a fly, and snap it to again, wi' nothing to swaller.
George Eliot
#51. If I had a dog that was sick as often as you are, I'd put it down, he observed kindly.
Robin Hobb
#52. Before I got Madeline, I used to see dog people who were so obsessed, and I'd think, Oh, that's so sad. But now, here I am, talking about her all the time. I even dress her up in little outfits; I'm madly in love with her.
Kristin Chenoweth
#53. He set down his chili dog, and after a pondering moment of silence, he replied with words of wisdom I'd never forget: "Fuck women. Fuck school. Fuck money. Go write some books, get a good agent, lift weights, get tattoos, and never do a film with Keanu Reeves.
Jon Konrath
#54. There is something about the human condition. I don't think dogs are like "If only I was a poodle instead of a golden retriever, I'd be totally happy." Dogs are happy with who they are.
Michael Ian Black
#55. There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed ... Trouble doesn't come from Slopes, Kikes, Niggers, Spics or White Capitalist Pigs; it comes from the heart.
P. J. O'Rourke
#56. I have a dog and sometimes I'll be the littlest kid with my dog and marvel at his ears and his nose and how he looks at me. If he died, I'd bawl like a baby.
Aaron Eckhart
#57. This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when the weather was good.
Anne Frank
#59. I don't really understand that process called reincarnation but if there is such a thing I'd like to come back as my daughter's dog.
Leonard Cohen
#60. Was behind in every conceivable way. So the old attack dog started howling through my head as I'd
Mary Karr
#61. If Hitch were a person, he'd be Mother Theresa or Gandhi or someone who treated all living creatures with the respect they deserve. It's depressing how my dog is a better human being than I am.
McCall Hoyle
#62. In a dog's world, only three states existed: "now," "in a while," and "forever." If someone left, he was gone "forever," and when he returned they rejoiced as much as if he were back from the dead precisely because he'd been gone "forever.
Mercedes Lackey
#63. Men and women aren't really dogs: they only look like it and behave like it. Somewhere inside there is a great chagrin and a gnawing discontent.
D.H. Lawrence
#64. Blue. My God! I'm so blue that if I were a dog, I'd sit on my haunches and howl and howl and howl ...
Alice Dunbar Nelson
#65. I have liv'd long enough for others, like the Dog in the Wheel, and it is now the Season to begin for myself: I cannot change that Thing call'd Time, but I can alter its Posture and, as Boys do turn a looking-glass against the Sunne, so I will dazzle you all.
Peter Ackroyd
#66. You'd be cute if you weren't such a little humping freak." Carter flattened the fur on the top of the dog's head. "Humperdinck." He met Faith's eyes. "I think I've just named your dog.
Kristin Miller
#67. Kiki had to be carried whenever they left the house, or she'd be eaten by wild animals. At least, that's what Frank seemed to think. The dog, spoiled as she was, wholeheartedly agreed.
Nicole Castle
#68. It's a privilege to be in such a great category of people and ... I don't believe in God, so I'd like to thank dogs. Dogs have given me everything.
Ricky Gervais
#69. There's a very fine line between underacting and not acting at all. And not acting is what a lot of actors are guilty of. It amazes me how some of these little numbers with dreamy looks and a dead pan are getting away wit it. I'd hate to see them on stage with a dog act.
Joan Blondell
#70. was like he'd lost a baseball game, his dog, and his last hundred bucks in the same day.
Annabeth Albert
#71. My one and only chicken, bequeathed to me by Robinson, dreaded the noon hour the same as I did, he'd go back in with me. For three weeks the chicken lived with me like that, following me like a dog, clucking constantly, seeing snakes wherever he went. One day of extreme boredom, I ate him.
Louis-Ferdinand Celine
#72. Sometimes you panic and find yourself emitting remarks so profoundly inane that you would be embarrassed to say them to your dog. Your dog would look at you and think to itself, 'I may lick myself in public, but I'd never say anything as stupid as that.'
Dave Barry
#73. If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am.
Charles Yu
#74. I'm half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I'd be in a hell of a mess!
Audrey Hepburn
#75. I am not looking for a friend; if I want a friend I'd buy a dog.
Alan Sugar
#76. For years he'd strived to make a difference in the world, and he'd worked like a dog to make that happen, and yet here he was, a man sitting on a dock with his children, and never had he felt more certain that his words mattered.
Kristin Hannah
#78. Gotten butt-ass, bone-dog naked for your vadge-cam?" Dante offered with an angelic smile, standing close.
"Fucking hell, D." Griff turned to Beth with an apology, but she spoke first.
"Huh-yeah. Thanks, cockbreath.
Damon Suede
#79. I shut him out. Maybe I'd send a water-dog barking after him later - let it bite him in the ass. I
Sarah J. Maas
#80. Did I think I'd ever find someone I could live with, she asked me, and I said yes, and she said who, and I said me with a vagina and cleavage a little dog could get lost in.
Lionel Fisher
#81. Keep moving forward until we find something better to do," Hinchcliffe replied. "Maybe find the nursery for the dog-demons. I'd rather kill them stillborn." "I didn't know you were a Democrat, Staff Sergeant," Berg said with a grin. "Don't ask, don't tell, Two-Gun.
John Ringo
#82. When hot dogs like Mr. D'Amato or the Republican apologist Roger Ailes say that Whitewater is worse than Watergate, it's because they're suffering from a disease. It's called bull-imia, and it's the regurgitation of patent hyperbole.
Anna Quindlen
#83. I'd rather be a free dog running free than fat one chained
Thabiso Monkoe
#84. If he stayed close enough to Maggie for long enough, the dog might wind up with more education than me. Then there'd be no talking to him.
Jim Butcher
#85. I'd rather be a thin dog running free than a fat one in chains
Thabiso Monkoe
#86. I'd like to be a dog. Dogs are nice. They can sleep any time, they wag their tails and on top of that they can get stroked all the time.
Emmanuel Petit
#87. It means 'female dog,'" I'd explained to my sisters, "but it also means 'a woman who's crabby and won't let you be yourself.
David Sedaris
#88. When just a kid, moved back to Canada and looking for a taste of England, I'd picked up a book of my Gram's, a dog-eared romance from the 'sixties about English hospital 'sisters' trying to get it on with the doctors, and thought it very shocking behaviour for nuns.
Roberta Pearce
#89. You black dog!" A red mist of fury swept across Conan's eyes. "Were I free I'd give you a broken back!
Robert E. Howard
#90. I, a Laconian dog, can bite again: Yes, I can make the Daunian tiger flee, Much more a bragging, foul-mouth'd whelp like thee.
Henry Kirke White
#91. That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.
Jennifer Rardin
#93. Pretty birds and cute dogs are always necessary. I love them. But I'd never treat a dog like a human.
Yun Kouga
#94. I'm seeing too many kids where they get fixated on their own autism. I'd rather have them get fixated that they like programming computers or they like art or they want to sing in the church choir or they want to train dogs, you know, something that they can turn into a career.
Temple Grandin
#95. Il y aura toujours un chien perdu quelque part qui m'empe" chera d'e" tre heureux. There will always be a lost dog somewhere that will prevent me being happy.
Jean Anouilh
#96. A German shepherd dog could walk in the office with a script in his mouth, and if that script was really good, they'd buy the script.
Peter Guber
#97. A pig in a blanket is a hot dog wrapped in a dough and baked.
N.D. Wilson
#98. I only really like to watch things like 'Time Team.' I'd rather be out walking the dog. It's all reality TV, which, as an actor, I detest.
Kevin Whately
#99. Don't make a feller wait too long. A feller waiting on a gal can get ornery'er than a huntin' dog that's tree'd it's squirrel.
Colleen Houck
#100. I chose the title Dogwalker because that describes me pretty well. I spend a lot of time walking around with my dogs. I'd say the narrator is me in an alternate universe.
Arthur Bradford
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
