Top 23 Delivery Funny Quotes

#1. I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house?

Ljupka Cvetanova

Delivery Funny Quotes #92001
#2. You have the look of someone who'll die under general anaesthetic while having liposuction.

Marian Keyes

Delivery Funny Quotes #144813
#3. Not for me. I hate fish. It's for Goddamn Cat. I want him served that regularly.

J.R. Ward

Delivery Funny Quotes #243747
#4. If you play Mark Twain and he's not funny, you are definitely not playing Mark Twain. That was the biggest challenge, in some ways. Writing and performing jokes that can come out of that brilliant delivery system he constructed: the friendly, avuncular truth-teller.

Val Kilmer

Delivery Funny Quotes #244300
#5. One in three all friends are:
Brothers in distress,
equals facing rivals,
free men - facing death!

Friedrich Nietzsche

Delivery Funny Quotes #294457
#6. But you, children of space, you restless in rest, you shall not be trapped nor tamed.

Kahlil Gibran

Delivery Funny Quotes #317914
#7. People don't just appear on the beach unless they're demigods or gods or really, really lost pizza delivery guys. (It's happened - but that's another story.)

Rick Riordan

Delivery Funny Quotes #342722
#8. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

Jeff Ross

Delivery Funny Quotes #474734
#9. Never mind what some will say, for then thou wilt never have done. One may as soon tie up the winds, as the tongues of slanderers.

Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra

Delivery Funny Quotes #502643
#10. Writers are entirely egocentric. To them, few things in their lives have meaning or importance unless they give promise of serving some creative purpose.

Doris Grumbach

Delivery Funny Quotes #542731
#11. She was happy, and that made me happy.

Jamie McGuire

Delivery Funny Quotes #678193
#12. Alice: Where Should I go?
Cheshire Cat: That depends, where do you want to end up?

Lewis Carroll

Delivery Funny Quotes #685538
#13. When I was at drama school I wanted to do classical theatre. It just so happened that I did a film when I came out and I moved that way.

Andrew Lincoln

Delivery Funny Quotes #760113
#14. Your mind is a magic pot, from which you pick the things, and manifest life out of it. If you don't tell your mind, your priorities, it will be easier for your mind, to pick anything, to serve you with your life.

Roshan Sharma

Delivery Funny Quotes #843532
#15. Oh, I just think that a neat house is the sign of a boring person, that's all. And I don't really like to associate with boring people if I can help it.

Katie Kacvinsky

Delivery Funny Quotes #985600
#16. A brick could be used for note delivery, from the KKK.

Nicole McKay

Delivery Funny Quotes #1000046
#17. God has a funny way of reminding us we're human. [About his impromptu water break during his delivery of the GOP rebuttal to President Barack Obama's State of the Union on February 12, 2013]

Marco Rubio

Delivery Funny Quotes #1000570
#18. It's OK not to be OK.

Lindsey Kelk

Delivery Funny Quotes #1141150
#19. If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.

Tucker Max

Delivery Funny Quotes #1399825
#20. Give me anything that moves my heart, that gives me goosebumps.

Jeremy Spencer

Delivery Funny Quotes #1401398
#21. I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.

J. B. Smoove

Delivery Funny Quotes #1668640
#22. I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?

Zach Braff

Delivery Funny Quotes #1705859
#23. Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"

Billy Connolly

Delivery Funny Quotes #1736597

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