Dead Cat Sayings

#1. They might have been all-right people doing the best they could, but I got to tell you, you got a dead cat lying in your yard you ought to bury it. That's my motto.

Joe R. Lansdale

#2. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish.

James P. Gorman

#3. Keith much preferred cats. A cat wouldn't go mad at a man traversing a wall in the dead of night; it would shrug and lick its arse

Simon Dunn

#4. He gave the body a final kick and then turned to face me.
"You and I need to talk, Kitten."
"Now?" I asked in disbelief, gesturing to the dead vampire near his feet.
"It's not like he's going anywhere, so yeah. Now.

Jeaniene Frost

#5. You don't take a dead cat to the vet. I mean you might, but why?

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#6. Hello Huckleberry!"
"Hello, yourself, and see how you like it."
"What's that you got?"
"Dead cat."
"Lemme see him, Huck. My, he's pretty stiff. Where'd you get him?"
"Bought him off'n a boy.

Mark Twain

#7. A quiet meow echoes on the other side of the door though, and I can't help thinking the cat is calling out for help. I left Avery here in the slums and someone murdered her in the middle of the night. The cat is calling out for me to help his poor dead owner.

Izzy Sweet

#8. All cats die. Socrates is dead. Therefore Socrates is a cat.

Eugene Ionesco

#9. Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave, and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat.

Terry Pratchett

#10. Crap.
It's all crap.
Living is crap.
Life has no meaning.
None. Nowhere to be found.
Crap.
Why doesn't anybody realize this?

K-Ske Hasegawa

#11. Sweeping from butcher's stalls, dung, guts, and blood,
Drown'd puppies, stinking sprats, all drench'd in mud,
Dead cats, and turnip-tops, come tumbling down the flood.

Jonathan Swift

#12. I was honored today with having a few stones, dirt, rotten eggs, and pieces of dead cat thrown at me

George Whitefield

#13. If you were in a burning house and there was a cat and a Rembrandt, what would you save? The cat ... you would save the cat, because the cat is alive. The art is dead. It's just paint on a canvas, ink on a page. To live for art is to deny life. It's just to destroy life.

Diane Frolov

#14. Okay, so I'll admit I'm curious. Big deal. We both know what that leads to. Dead cat.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#15. There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump - an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat.

Dave Barry

#16. If the house were on fire, what would you save? The cat? The computer? The only existing picture of your dead sister? Rather, the question should be: What would you be willing to lose? For Zoe Rutherford the answer was: everything.

Tanya Anne Crosby

#17. For a dyed-in-the-wool author, nothing is as dead as a book once it is written. She is rather like a cat whose kittens have grown up.

Rumer Godden

#18. This is much worse than losing a cat. You do not wish the cat dead, for example, after the first two days. You still love the cat and presumably the cat still loves you, or some variation of love that may in fact be dependence and even indifference.

Suzanne Finnamore

#19. For all the accomplishments of molecular biology, we still can't tell a live cat from a dead cat.

Lynn Margulis

#20. Doubt has also been cast on the value of McKeith's certified membership of the American Association of Nutritional Consultants, especially since Guardian journalist Ben Goldacre managed to buy the same membership online for his dead cat for $60.

Ben Goldacre

#21. The best thing we can do for the dead is to do their share of living with a smile. ~Train Heartnet

Kentaro Yabuki

#22. one look his fears of a dog-fighting ring were valid. Blood was spattered around a makeshift wooden ring. Chains were piled up in a corner. He could see where the cages had been placed in the grass by the indents, but they were gone now. A dead cat was dangling from a tree branch.

Kathleen Brooks

#23. You can stick a BMW badge on a dead cat - and people would still buy it.

Richard Hammond

#24. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the
cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat
could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

Terry Pratchett

#25. When I came here, it stunned me at first to realize how much what I had thought of as civilization was really just advertising and marketing, incessant urgings to buy, Buy, BUY. from Dead Cat Bounce

Sarah Graves

#26. Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish.

James P. Gorman

#27. In short, if Cameron said "bunch of migrants" by accident, he is a dick, but if he said it on purpose, in order to draw the eye, dead-cat-style, away from the Google atrocity, which he did, then he is a bastard, which is worse.

Stewart Lee

#28. Waiting for the response to a query is a little like being Schroedinger's cat. You are neither 'dead' nor 'alive', but some amorphous state in between.

Pippa Jay

#29. It was time to chuck this life, with its Jo-Jos and Rodneys, its bloody burning children and walking-dead parents, just kick dirt over the whole show, like a cat burying its shit.

Richard Price

#30. Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use.

Will Advise

#31. Any cat that misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead leaf.

Charlotte Gray

#32. Spartacus," I called, "how's it hanging?" Probably not too well. Once you're dead, had your organs removed, and are resurrected as an undead mummified cat, your testicles probably looked like old raisins that had rolled under the couch. Raisins didn't tend to ... hang.

Rob Thurman

#33. One large bundle held their all - bed, coffee-mill, looking-glass, hens - all but the cat; she took to the woods and became a wild cat, and, as I learned afterward, trod in a trap set for woodchucks, and so became a dead cat at last.

Henry David Thoreau

#34. The government usually announces it killed a Big Terrorist 5 or 6 different times before they're dead - they're almost like cats.

Glenn Greenwald

#35. We live in a world so horrifying, it frightens even the dead

Cat Winters

#36. Now I'm not making love to anyone's wishes, Only for that light I see 'Cause when I'm dead and lowered low in my grave, That's gonna be the only thing that's left of me

Cat Stevens

#37. They suggested that if you really want to hold a koala but can't, just get a furry pillowcase and fill it with lightly used cat litter. Or tie a bunch of sedated raccoons together. Or maybe hold a dead koala.

Jenny Lawson

#38. Besides, thinking kind thoughts about Valek could be extremely dangerous. I could admire his skills, and be relieved when he was on my side in a fight. But for a rat to like the cat? That scenario ended only one way. With one dead rat.

Maria V. Snyder

#39. The cat jumps up on the bed and tries to get onto my head. It's his way of telling whether or not i'm dead. If i'm not, he wants to be scratched; if i am - he'll think of something

Margaret Atwood

#40. It takes something to stand out a little, and you can't swing a dead cat on Ganymede without hitting five botany PhDs.

James S.A. Corey

#41. I thought you were dead."
Magnus smiled crookedly. "What, from that scratch?" He glanced down at the reddening jacket in Alec's hand. "Okay, a deep scratch. Like, from a really, really big cat.

Cassandra Clare

#42. I found many treasures in the woods over the years: shotgun shells, empty Colt 45 bottles, old railroad spikes, orange and black beetles eating a dead mouse, pebbles that looked just like teeth, old stone walls and cellar holes, a rusted out frying pan, the skull of a cat.

Jennifer McMahon

#43. Baby human died, baby cat died yesterday... dead is part of our life beyond and above us!

Deyth Banger

#44. She's dead, you stupid cat. She's dead.

Suzanne Collins

#45. Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.

Dana Gould

#46. Bad Kitty. That's what Charlie said. I bite my lip hard enouth to draw blood and savor the metallic taste in my mouth.
If Charlie wants to think of me as just another pussy, he's dead wrong. Because I'm going to be the one cat that has more than nine lives.

Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

#47. Someone creeping into his yard in the dead of night? More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering somewhere, covered in potato peelings.

J.K. Rowling

#48. Like all stories of creators who bring life from the dead, his story began with a struggling butcher, who chased a gray cat, caught it, took off its studded collar, and slit its throat.

Salvador Plascencia

#49. (I love that expression. "Swing a dead cat." Where the hell did it come from? Was swinging dead cats a thing at some point?)

Leslie Irish Evans

#50. Making money ain't nothing exciting to me. You might be able to buy a little better booze than the wino on the corner. But you get sick just like the next cat and when you die you're just as graveyard dead as he is.

Louis Armstrong

#51. A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.

Ambrose Bierce

#52. Church was doing what he often did when dropped - lying on his back with all four legs in the air, pretending to be dead in order to induce guilt in his owners.

Cassandra Clare

#53. Redford had read somewhere that cats brought their owners dead birds, rodents, and their own toys because they were trying to teach the stupid humans how to hunt, like they did with their own kittens. From the amount of toys Knievel had brought to him, the cat thought he was absolutely useless.

Robin Saxon

#54. If there's anything I dislike it's the violin", she answered. "Why one should want to hear anyone scrape the hairs of a horse's tail against the guts of a dead cat is something I shall never understand.

W. Somerset Maugham

#55. Once you go dead, there's no one better in bed!" ~ Cat

Jeaniene Frost

#56. We stand dead still and we listen to the night. The city drones. An owl hoots and a cat howls and a dog barks and a siren wails.
We let the stars shine into us.

David Almond

#57. I can't swing a dead cat without hitting a reporter.

Russel Honore

#58. The Queen is dead and gone. Well, at least she's gone ... for now. Long live Alice! Long live Wonderland.

Cheshire Cat

#59. He bought her six dresses, and I brought her god-damned cat back from the dead, so who loves her more?!

Stephen King