Date Me Quotes

#1. Let's face it. I'm the romantic equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle. Men date me then disappear , never to be heard from again."

Jaymes, Olivia (2013-12-18). Justice Healed (Cowboy Justice Association Book 2) (Kindle Locations 981-982). Blonde Ambition Press. Kindle Edition.

Olivia Jaymes

#2. You don't have to date me, just don't date her. Please, as your friend, I'm begging you not to date someone who doesn't appreciate you.

Cammie McGovern

#3. I lost some weight, grew my hair and now every woman in America over 40 wants to date me. It's their daughters I want to convince.

David Krumholtz

#4. Leo got up and brushed himself off. "I hate that guy". He offered Jason his arm like they should go skipping together."I'm Dylan. I'm so cool, I want to date myself, but I can't figure out how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!"
"Leo" Jason said "You're weird

Rick Riordan

#5. Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.

Dane Cook

#6. I hate that guy." He offered Jason his arm, like they should go skipping inside together. "'I'm Dylan. I'm so cool, I want to date myself, but I can't figure out how! You want to date me instead?

Rick Riordan

#7. I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!

Rick Riordan

#8. When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

Chelsea Handler

#9. When i was 12 all of my friends had girlfriends and i didn't, i felt lonely so i asked my mom to date me.

Niall Horan

#10. A good amount of the guys wanted to date me. Even older guys looking at me. It took some getting used to.

Vanessa Hudgens

#11. People can have so many ill-conceived ideas about me based on the parts that I play. I've had guys, when I've been single, come out of the woodwork to date me and I've found out very quickly that they were expecting some kind of whirlwind, some dramatic crazy person - and that's just not me.

Jennifer Jason Leigh

#12. You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.

Dane Cook

#13. There are billions of men in the world, probably millions near my age. Maybe hundreds who are compatible with me. Maybe at least a dozen who would want to date me. There's got to be at least five on the continent whom I could probably marry. So why am I so hung up on this one guy?

Regina Doman

#14. Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!

Donald Glover

#15. All men that date me have to know that their name may end up in a pop song.

Kesha

#16. I know if i told her about liking guys, she'd probably stop wanting to date me, which would be a huge plus. but i also know i'd immediately become her gay pet, and that's the last kind of leash i want. and it's not like i'm really that gay. i fucking hate madonna.

David Levithan

#17. I have a bad habit of playing little emotional games with men. When they date me it's cool in the beginning, we do our thing in the first month, and then I send them on a rollercoaster ride to hell.

JWoww

#18. If you took me to Coachella for our first date, it would probably be a done deal. It would be a sure thing.

Eva Mendes

#19. Love and I once had a great relationship, but I fear we've broken up. It cheated on me, wrecked my heart, and then went on to date other people. A lot of other people. And I can't stand to watch it, since love's going to cheat on them too.

David Levithan

#20. My last girlfriend was a Showgirl - But we eventually broke up because she wouldn't Tell me anything. Now I'm dating a girl who looks exactly like my grandma, only my girl older.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz

James Lee Schmidt

#21. I don't plan on ever letting my daughters date. I'm going to try to do everything I can to prevent it. You know, it just terrifies me. It just terrifies me.

Mark Wahlberg

#22. Yes, my enormous sexual appetite tends to scare men away. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find my dinner date.

Stacia Kane

#23. If a person ever came to me as a fan and tried to go out on a date, I wouldn't. I've had enough kind of crazy experiences in that department.

Meredith Brooks

#24. I'm pretty good at remaining calm during an emergency. My house burned down when I was 12, which made me really pragmatic about what needed to be done. But I can be bad in that I compartmentalize a lot of emotions and push them away to deal with them at a later date.

Anne Hathaway

#25. Maybe I shouldn't scare off my date so quickly by shooting guns and telling stories about vomit, but, hey, the sooner he knows the real me, the better.

Vicki Lesage

#26. On that first date, I asked him what he saw in me. And he said, My future.

Jodi Picoult

#27. My daughter's mother and I are no longer dating, and the people I'm most likely to date are those around me, who are athletes.

Tyson Gay

#28. Ed? Are you alive?'
'Yes..and that's genuinely surprising
since your bike went over me about
halfway down. You're a very dangerous
girl to date.'
'We're not on a date.

Cath Crowley

#29. You look beautiful. I'm so happy I finally agreed to go on this date with you." That makes me laugh. "Really? Were you being hounded relentlessly?" "Like you wouldn't believe," he says, raising his eyebrows. "It's been exhausting having to dodge your advances.

Claire Contreras

#30. I get e-mails from mothers asking me to call their daughters for a date. I have a great life.

Shaun White

#31. Will you go on a date with me Friday night? A real date, not a pretend one? I'll probably be so clumsy that you won't go out with me a second time, but please say yes.

Carolyn Brown

#32. I'd date someone younger or older; age doesn't matter to me. Or looks, really - it's all about maturity.

Leona Lewis

#33. It's not that I lead this oblivious life where I think I've got such a great personality that people want to spend time with me. If someone has a poster of you or asks for your autograph, clearly you can't take them out on a date. It's not that interesting if someone is just interested in you.

George Clooney

#34. The first time we went out on a date, a little voice in my head said: This man will never hurt you, and nothing he had done in the seven years since had led me to doubt it. And then he turned into Marathon Man.

Jojo Moyes

#35. If the date is a complete disaster, I'll text you. I'll say 'Blue Squirrel, this is Hot Fox. Mission to be aborted with extreme prejudice.' Then you call me and you tell me that there is a terrible emergency that requires my expert warlock assistance.

Cassandra Clare

#36. I bizarrely think that this [Sin City] is the perfect date movie. If a guy took me on a date to see this movie, I would marry him, for sure. It's bad-ass chicks and rad dudes, who are sexy, all over the place, and there's so much cool action.

Jessica Alba

#37. M: Don't go there. Besides, you want to tell me about this prom date? Hmm?
J: He's just a fiend. We barely know each other.
M: Nice, The stuff dreams are made of.

Kelly Bingham

#38. Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK?
It'll be a year come April 20th.
I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday

Woody Allen

#39. To me, if you're trying to impress a girl, get a date, they're gonna like that more because you're a confident guy. That's what it comes down to.

Tom Brady

#40. You like rock?
Little boy, I'm not your friend. I'm not your Dark-Hunter and I'm not your friggin' date. You only speak to me when I ask you a question. Otherwise you keep your mouth shut, your eyes off me, and you might live long enough to get me to the French Quarter. (Zarek)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#41. I'm sorry I moved in on your date. It was a total violation of bro code, and for that, I'm offering you one free swing at me. Just make sure to stay away from my nose, because I've broken that motherfucker way too many times and I'm scared one day it won't heal right.

Elle Kennedy

#42. I had a lot of friends who were boys. I played ball with them, but we didn't date. They didn't ask me that much because I wasn't cute enough or because I didn't drink or party.

Sheri L. Dew

#43. I had to find a diet that would kick me back into dating shape, because I know that I can't date at size 8. I have to date at size 2. And it's just a fact of nature. Go get your injections and your chemical peels. You gotta look good to attract a man.

Patti Stanger

#44. Souris says you wanted to see me, so here I am. Talk quick before I decide to beat the shit out of you and throw your bloody carcass back across the International Date Line.

Elle Lothlorien

#45. Even at this late date, I go into my studio, and I think 'Is this going to be it? Is it the end?' You see, nearly everything terrorizes me. When an artist loses that terror, he's through.

Robert Rauschenberg

#46. On my first date, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to eat a la carte, and I said that I would prefer to stay inside!

Cristin Milioti

#47. How about we make a date to do nothing but curl up together after school alone and Roku a Big Bang Theory marathon." I grinned at him. "No one but me knows what a dork you truly are." "I need to laugh, and Sheldon makes me laugh.

P.C. Cast

#48. Shea eyed him warily. "You aren't getting ready to bite me again, are you? I've got to tell you, there isn't a place on my body that isn't sore." She flashed him a wan smile. "Just out of curiosity, your rabies shots are up to date, aren't they?

Christine Feehan

#49. It's just a date. One date. If you like it we'll have more, if you don't, we won't. I just want you to give me a chance before you decide I'm not worth it. - Chase

Lacey Weatherford

#50. It's taboo for me to date wrestlers.

Stephanie

#51. Many a month of gloomy unconsciousness rolled over me, without date or notice. One thousand waves may welter over a sunk wreck, and be felt as one.

Charles Robert Maturin

#52. I'm a menace to society,
But girls in biker shorts are so fly to me.
After the date, I'mma want to do the wild thing ...
You're talkin' lobster? I'm thinkin' Burger King.

Ice Cube

#53. My Date was waiting for me at the kitchen door, ears perked, tail wagging and bits of wicker clinging to his nose and mouth
Abby Shaw, Sucker Punched

Sammi Carter

#54. It is not the gentle kiss of a couple on a first date, nor is it the kiss of a man driven by simple lust. He kisses me with the desperation of a dying man who believes the magic of eternal life is in this kiss.

Susan Ee

#55. Frankly, I'll believe in horoscopes the day I can describe my personality to an astrologer and they tell me what date I was born.

Seth Shostak

#56. His date kept saying to him, "How horrible ... Don't, darling. Please, don't. Not here." Imagine giving somebody a feel and telling them about a guy committing suicide at the same time! They killed me.

J.D. Salinger

#57. I think I was obsessed with the culture of riding. I got sick of having to date guys who rode motorcycles for me to be on them.

Katee Sackhoff

#58. From: Christian Grey
Subject: Shenaniwhatagans?
Date: June 15, 2011 09:32
To: Anastasia Steele
You don't have to work, Anastasia.
You have no idea how appalled I am at my shenanigans.
But I like keeping you up late ;)
Please use your blackberry.
Oh, and marry me, please.

E.L. James

#59. For me the ideal date would be to drink wine in the backyard under the stars, listen to music and just talk. Then we'd eat steak and, later, dessert. If all went as planned, we'd save some of the dessert and play with it while making out.

Karen McDougal

#60. A date once leaned in to kiss me, and he ended up kissing my cheek. He was a little offended, but I didn't want to kiss him just to not hurt his feelings.

Denise Richards

#61. Men don't like me. I haven't been on a date for six months. I've just started a club with a girlfriend called the We Hate Men But We Can't Be Gay Club.

Lara Stone

#62. Elizabeth: "Maybe he'll surprise you."
Meghann: "Birdie, they all surprise me. Last week, I hugged my date at the door and felt a bra strap.

Kristin Hannah

#63. I hate being the heartbreaker. Hate it. If I date somebody and it doesn't work out, it's another nightmare for me.

John Mayer

#64. If you'll excuse me, I have to pull my date out of the garbage.

Debra Anastasia

#65. We were led to a pediatric ophthalmologist. It's a hard date for me, April 14, 1998. The doctor came back from the examining room and told us she had tumors in both eyes.

Hunter Tylo

#66. If you happen to tell me where you were born, your date of birth and that kind of information, then I'm 98 percent of the way to stealing your identity.

Frank Abagnale

#67. Extended metaphor is like a carton of milk without an expiration date.

Jesse Helms

#68. He's got it bad for my boobs. He asked them out on the date, not me.

Helena Hunting

#69. I was never a boy magnet at school. There was always the girl all the guys liked and wanted to date, but it was never me.

Taylor Swift

#70. So if you were dating the UPS guy, he could buy you whatever the hell he wanted. But I cant.well ... yes, but I'd never date the UPS guy. Those brown shorts are just not a turn-on for me.

Lisa Kleypas

#71. Just because I'm single and don't date a lot, that doesn't make me a lesbian.

Kelly Clarkson

#72. I wouldn't want my daughters to date a guy like me. I was dangerous around women in my twenties. I'm terrified that they might end up with someone like me.

Antonio Banderas

#73. The truth is I hate cocktail parties when the only person I know is my supposed date, and he abandons me the minute we come in the door.

Mary Higgins Clark

#74. Okay", I breathed. "Then what will it take?" I was completely out of my element. Begging a girl to go on a date with me. This was fucked up."
"Miss it."
I stared into her cold, blue eyes and knew I'd just met the kind of girl books are written about.

Tarryn Fisher - Thief

#75. And as for girls who try to stay away from me - my charm always wears them down."
"I'm up-to-date on my shots, so I'm pretty much immune to everything.

Jenny B. Jones

#76. You've met Nick?"
"Yep, we've met, all right. He was kind enough to inform me that I have absolutely no say in whether you two date."
"Well, you don't."
"You know, you all could at least pretend that my opinion makes a difference.

Julie James

#77. For a dinner date, I eat light all day to save room, then I go all in: I choose this meal and this order, and I choose you, the person across from me, to share it with. There's a beautiful intimacy in a meal like that.

Anthony Bourdain

#78. Barrons knows virtually everything about me. I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere he has a little file that encompasses my entire life to date, with neatly mounted, acerbically captioned photos - see Mac sunbathe, see Mac paint her nails, see Mac almost die.

Karen Marie Moning

#79. I hated the idea of a high school sweetheart. Growing up, oh my God, it just made me sick. I wanted to have a range of cool boyfriends. I wanted to travel around and date these interesting men. Then it just happened. You fall in love.

Charlotte Arnold

#80. You can't date if you're famous. That's how it seems to me.

Orlando Bloom

#81. Yeah, well, not many boys take their girls out on a duck shoot with them as target for a first date. You have to give me points for style.

Joss Stirling

#82. You did promise me it'd be the best date of my life...."
She smiled up at him. "Well, a promise is a promise. And I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Paige Tyler

#83. After what I told her and she still wants me to date her son? He must be a perfectly wonderful catch.

Jennifer Loren

#84. I love watching reality shows - I'm up to date with 'America's Next Top Model' and I love 'Project Runway.' But the shows where they're just sitting in a house aren't as fun to me!

Emma Bunton

#85. The whole process of being one of the 10 finalists for the 'Vogue' Fashion Fund award has to be my biggest achievement to date. Meeting Anna Wintour, Diane von Furstenberg, etc., has been an amazing experience that even now gives me goose bumps when I think about it.

Simon Spurr

#86. For me, the challenge is just making great albums, because talent - and writing in general - is not tangible. There's no expiration date on it. At the same time, you might wake up tomorrow and be unable to write music.

Jay-Z

#87. Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at him.
"Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me.
"You think I should slap some man into him?

Ilona Andrews

#88. And I know that the past version of me is someone you would never trust. But who I am when I'm with you" he paused, "isn't who I used to be. I don't think I've been that guy since the night of our first date, so it's not fair that you judge me like I'm still him.

J. Sterling

#89. I don't miss being a reporter as a job, but I do miss the everyday interaction with the front line of law enforcement. I still have a cadre of cops who keep me up to date, but I don't have the access I used to.

Michael Connelly

#90. Could the human girl have the same luck like mine on the first date?
Or was it just me? Who besides being a blue-blooded vampire, had not even lucky in love?

Pet Torres

#91. I met Rosie at the airport. She remained uncomfortable about me purchasing her ticket, so I told her she could pay me back by selecting some Wife Project applicants for me to date.
'Fuck you,' she said.
It seemed we were friends again.

Graeme Simsion

#92. I hope someday when I date my fan, she loves me as a person and not as a famous Greyson Chance

Greyson Chance

#93. It's only one date. I can do it. And you'll probably lose interest afterward."

"No other woman's ever needed to give herself a pep talk to spend time with me."

"That you know of.

Ann Bruce

#94. You know, I do not know, I just want to date someone who makes me happy.

Caprice Bourret

#95. My ideal date would involve painful silence. My ideal date wouldn't involve me.

Sam Pink

#96. Bloody Americans. Why did they have to DATE? Why couldn't they just spend their time ignoring each other, like the English? If he'd stayed in London he would never have met anyone. he'd be alone and unhappy, like me, but at least he wouldn't be DATING.

Lucy Robinson

#97. 'American Top 40' allowed me to be current without my having to force change to keep up with things. The new songs kept us up to date, so every show sounded fresh.

Casey Kasem

#98. This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.

Anthony Jeselnik

#99. You've asked me out tons of times."
"Not really. I've made inappropriate suggestions and frequently pushed for nudity. But I've never asked you out on a real date.

Richelle Mead

#100. My whole life, meeting people is like a blind date, because I feel like they've already seen the video on me.

Michael J. Fox