Top 61 Cucumber Quotes
#1. Cucumber reminds me of my mother making me eat sprouts.
Mark Lawrenson
#2. Cucumber gives the business, developers, and testers a way to collaborate and specify, in plain English, how the system should work.
Seb Rose
#3. Wainwright's Fruit Emporium. Mr Wainwright is not able to take calls at this time since he is not right in the head and thinks he is a cucumber. Thank you for calling.
Douglas Adams
#4. Coming from New York, I know that if you go by a delicatessen, and you put a sweet cucumber in the vinegar barrel, the cucumber might say, "No, I want to retain my sweetness." But it's hopeless. The barrel will turn the sweet cucumber into a pickle. You can't be a sweet cucumber in a vinegar barrel.
Philip Zimbardo
#5. More and more, Democrats are starting to worry they that they have a more um, colorful version of Jimmy Carter on their hands. Obama acts cool as a proverbial cucumber but that awful '70s show seems frightfully close to a rerun.
Eric Alterman
#6. Miss Cornelia dropped in that afternoon, puffing a little.
"I don't mind the world or the devil much, but the flesh does rather bother me," she admitted. "You always look as cool as a cucumber, Anne, dearie. Do I smell cherry pie? If I do, ask me to stay to tea ...
L.M. Montgomery
#7. I found a dead body in the cucumber patch,' I told them.
'How very like you,' Ophelia said, and went on preening her eyebrows.
Alan Bradley
#8. Since his mother died I have seen him steam a cucumber thinking it was zucchini. That's the kind of thing that turns my heart right over.
Amy Hempel
#9. You are offered a piece of bread and butter that feels like a damp handkerchief and sometimes, when cucumber is added to it, like a wet one.
Compton Mackenzie
#10. I was mainly raised by a working mum who didn't have much time or inclination for making food. So I had three or four basic meals: fish fingers and a tomato; a packet scotch egg and a tomato; pasta with a tin of tomatoes; and extra mild plastic-y cheddar chopped into cubes with bits of cucumber.
Paloma Faith
#12. I pity Americans for their very bad fruits. Your 'mango' is cucumber. The only thing I really miss about Egypt is mangoes.
Bassem Youssef
#13. Our Father who art on Delridge Avenue, give us this day our daily bread. Only make it pumpernickel and slap on some French's mustard and cucumber chips.
Conrad Wesselhoeft
#14. The Produce Gem grins from half-way down the chip aisle. "And I thought the cucumber choosing was detailed."
Cash.
He was watching.
He saw me breaking it down.
He saw my invisible bad summer-time fashion choices.
Pella Grace
#15. You take them home expecting a nice English cucumber, but regrettably end up with a pickle.
Harlow Stone
#16. It was just really odd to be in a room with Ian McKellen sharing cucumber sandwiches.
Adam Brown
#17. Wow, what a cucumber. (Cool, I mean.) Did he know all along that you were watching him?
Rainbow Rowell
#18. He'd probably no more view his life as a story than he would view his life that of a sea cucumber.
Douglas Coupland
#19. I sucked in a few deep breaths. I could do this. I could.
I am a cool cucumber.
No, fuck that. I am Snoop Dogg. You can get no cooler than that.
Kate McCarthy
#20. Most people are about as aware of their surroundings as a sea cucumber.
Douglas Preston
#21. Cat watched Seth's face for any reaction but the guy was cool as a cucumber. Or a radish. The saying didn't make sense anyway; she might as well change the vegetable to something she liked to eat. "Jealous?
Lynn Cahoon
#22. It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
Ellen DeGeneres
#23. Once a cucumber turns into a pickle, you can't turn it back into a cucumber. And I've been pickled by the internet for a long time.
Melissa Broder
#24. You have to admit, his voice gets you wetter than a cucumber in a women's prison
Nicole Reed
#25. Check out my new story collection, The Cucumber King of Kedainiai, forthcoming in October 2013 with Subito Press!
Wendell Mayo
#26. MIND TELLING US WHAT THE REALITY IS LIKE ROUND HERE?" The pen wrote: +++ On A Scale Of One To Ten - Query +++ "FINE," Ridcully shouted. +++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
Terry Pratchett
#27. The food I eat the most is probably steamed, plain white rice. I know its really, really, really boring, but that's honestly the food I eat the most. No, I like cucumber avocado rolls ... I love that.
Elizabeth Gillies
#28. A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber.
Lois Greiman
#29. Gin and tonic," Christian says. "Hendricks if you have it or Bombay Sapphire. Cucumber with the Hendricks, lime with the Bombay.
E.L. James
#30. The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.
Jasper Fforde
#33. At least you are back to being normal size." She gave a strangled laugh. "If the size of a cucumber on steroids is normal that is.
Charlene Hartnady
#34. The attempt to make the consumption of beer criminal is as silly and as futile as if you passed a law to send a man to jail for eating cucumber salad.
Stephen Leacock
#35. In the last analysis, a pickle is a cucumber with experience.
Irena Chalmers
#36. The cucumber is bitter? Then throw it out. There are brambles in the path? Then go around. That's all you need to know.
Marcus Aurelius
#37. So I would always try and be the lightest I could. In high school, I really wouldn't eat. I would only have lunch and I would only have salads. And then it got so crazy as to just eating like a cracker or a cucumber a day and I would feel full.
Nicole Polizzi
#38. I'd rather walk a mile with a cucumber up my ass than fuck you.
Keri Lake
#39. In chess, you should be as cool as a cucumber.
Yuliya Snigir
#40. You know, there is no language of vegetables, which converts a cucumber into a formal declaration of attachment.
Charles Dickens
#41. I love to create this green juice shake made from kale, spinach, cucumber and wheatgrass. The nutrients in the juice help me recover after a tough workout. The Kale Banana Smoothie at LYFE Kitchen is very similar to my recipe and is fantastic.
Troy Polamalu
#42. Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.
Samuel Johnson
#43. I Sellotape whole tins of sardines to my face at night, attach two squeezed lemon rinds to my armadillo-skinned elbows, and put cucumber on my eyes. By the time I'm finished, I look like a fruit salad with added fish. In the morning, the pillow is pretty much a write-off.
Barry Humphries
#44. Cucumber. The cucumber is just a pickle before it started drinking.
Jim Gaffigan
#45. the heartrending petty bourgeois piteousness of cucumber sandwiches passed around by accounting majors whose overly colorful bow ties had been expressly chosen to keep them from looking like waiters.
Nell Zink
#47. As the only woman, I was able to sit with the officers in front, with a glass of vodka in one hand and a cucumber in the other. That's how I went to my first war.
Asne Seierstad
#48. I love to eat cucumber sticks with yogurt. It's a great snack to have at home, especially when I'm having house guests.
Gabriela Isler
#50. Cucumber and bergamot," Clary said. "Is there anything else you hate that I ought to know about?"
Jace looked at Dorothea over the rim of his teacup. "Liars," he said.
Cassandra Clare
#51. My father belonged to a commune, and the food was ghastly. My idea of food hell is the salad cream they'd pour all over bits of lettuce, cucumber and tomato. It was just disgusting.
Marianne Faithfull
#52. Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
Dennis Miller
#53. I spent my first 10 years in the Commonwealth. I come from cricket, crumpets, cucumber sandwiches, the Queen.
Danielle De Niese
#54. My fingers touch each other and he's squishy, like a sea cucumber. Those creatures are a demonstration of God's fixation with wieners.
Helena Hunting
#55. Life is like a cucumber. One minute it's in your hand, the next it's up you ass.
Lawrence Durrell
#56. I feel liquefied, like a cucumber forgotten in the crisper drawer, and I want to hold myself at arm's length and carry me to the trash. Who is this sack of slush masquerading as me? It's intolerable.
Laini Taylor
#58. I like a pickled cucumber. A regular cucumber I'm not so interested in.
Jeff Goldblum
#59. I held in the sneeze, though, by thinking of the word cucumber. It always works.
Merrie Haskell
#60. Sometimes from this hillside just after sunset
The rim of the sky takes on a tinge
Of the palest green, like the flesh of a cucumber
When you peel it carefully.
Robert Hass
#61. Tis not her coldness, father, That chills my labouring breast; It's that confounded cucumber I've ate and can't digest.
Richard Harris Barham
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