Best Jokes Quotes

#1. You can be funny and say what you mean; these ideas are not mutually exclusive. Some of the best jokes came from people who meant it. See: Pryor, Bruce, Carlin, etc.

Hari Kondabolu

#2. The best jokes are uncalled-for.

Julien Torma

#3. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

Kurt Vonnegut

#4. The best jokes resonate because they uncover ridiculousness in our daily lives, reveal the silliness - and sometimes sadness - of things we see every day.

Rachel Sklar

#5. I think I love jokes! The best jokes are equal to the best art, in my mind, and as rare.

Travis Nichols

#6. The best jokes are often only understood by one other person.

Barry Humphries

#7. My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

Adam Brody

#8. I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.

Chris Rock

#9. The best of my songs are more than just a joke. There's something else going on - a character, or it's not just a plain joke.

Randy Newman

#10. A best friend is one who understands humour in your most weird jokes..

Himmilicious

#11. Here are some of the best Minecraft jokes for kids. Player 1: If creepers would actually invade my house in real life, I would throw them some nuts and bolts. Player 2: That's really lame. Why would you do that? Player 1: Because I'm sssssssscrewed!

Max Tyler

#12. Nicolas Cage is the best for taking the role of character Joker. He is pretty damn good at jokes!

Deyth Banger

#13. You shouldn't make jokes about these things," she said. "Science doesn't have all the answers, you know."
"It's got all the best questions, though,

Ben Aaronovitch

#14. The best short stories and the most successful jokes have a lot in common. Each form relies on suggestion and economy. Characters have to be drawn in a few deft strokes. There's generally a setup, a reveal, a reversal, and a release.

Geraldine Brooks

#15. Choose your friends because you feel most like yourself around them, because the jokes are easy and you feel like you're in your best outfit when you're with them, even though you're just in a t-shirt.

Caitlin Moran

#16. I'd always liked our inside jokes the best - they made me feel more connected to Amy than any amount of confessional truth-telling or passionate lovemaking or talk-till-sunrising.

Gillian Flynn

#17. A white lady came running up to me after a show. She goes, What gives you the right to do jokes about black people like that. And I'm like, Listen lady, my best friend is Cuban. And that's close enough.

Daniel Tosh

#18. I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.

John Oliver

#19. The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

David Ogilvy

#20. Jewish comedians do the best Jewish jokes, and anyone else doing that, they don't have a right to, because they're not coming from that experience. I know that's a slightly heightened example, but it's the same thing. We're bumpkins, so we can make bumpkin jokes.

Simon Pegg

#21. The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.

P. J. O'Rourke

#22. You don't need to explain. This is your house too-you can go where you want," I reply. I smile as best as I can. "Except my room, of course."
"Why, you'll stab me with a kitchen knife if I do?" she jokes as I set the knife down onto Oma March's bedside table.
"Maybe," I answer.

Jackson Pearce

#23. You are incorrigible."
"I know." She sighed happily. "All the shit we've been through - all the shit I've been through - and I can still make lascivious jokes with the best of them. That's impressive, Merit. That's character.

Chloe Neill

#24. Check out the very best of Hollywood jokes that will make you laugh

Joan Crawford

#25. Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.'

Ron Funches

#26. The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes in their repertoire have application.

Joseph Epstein

#27. When I'm playing comedy, I never do 'jokes.' Sometimes I'll deliver a line in a way I think is more likely to get a laugh, but all the best comedy is played straight. What's funny is the way it hits the world around it or the way it hits the other characters.

Bruce McGill

#28. Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.

Aziz Ansari

#29. *One million memories
*Ten thousand inside jokes
*One hundred shared secrets
*One reason
*BEST FRIENDS

SB

#30. I try not to write jokes that are mean. I try my best to write jokes that are pretty universal and jokes that don't attack anyone. I know I often fall short of that and end up taking unfair swipes at people, but I try not to.

Simon Rich

#31. I think my one of my strengths in standup is my ability to adlib. I do all my best writing on stage. I can sit down and write jokes, but I'd rather go on stage with a premise or an idea and let the jokes come that way. My creative juices are never flowing any better than when I'm onstage.

Henry Cho

#32. No- it was the best. Kind of joint where everyone checked their worries at the door. The beer was cold, the jokes came easy, we could smell the ocean, and everyone was always happy to be there.

Anna Godbersen

#33. I'm kind of a rebound junkie. So. when a relationship goes sour, I look at the sweetness in life elsewhere. So, I date a bit. The best catharsis is to write jokes and tell 4,000 people about it.

Vir Das

#34. If we live inside a bad joke, it is up to us to learn, at best and worst, to tell it well.

Jonathan Raban

#35. If you think the worst you'll get the worst, but if you think the best ... "
"and then everything will blow up in your face anyway. Don't you get the punchline yet? Its the great cosmic practical joke: Knock knock, who's there? Big kick in the Ass.

Brad Meltzer

#36. Awards shows have devolved into self-parodies - liberals in limos, corny insider jokes delivered by the hosts among bad teleprompter reading from the some of the best thespians on the planet.

John Ridley

#37. If you're from New Jersey, let people make all those bad jokes about our state. Don't let anyone know how great it is here. It's the best kept secret.

Jon Bon Jovi

#38. My rugrats give me gifts that say "#1 Mom" on them and I'm like, bwhahahahaha, joke's on you, I'm more like the #1,297,279 Mom. But they truly think I'm the best mom on earth. And that's all that matters.

Karen Alpert

#39. [Revealing character] can't be done by pushing the person into position or arranging his head at a certain angle. It must be accomplished by provoking the victim, amusing him with jokes, lulling him with silence, or asking impertinent questions which his best friend would be afraid to voice.

Philippe Halsman

#40. I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made 'em up myself.

Dolly Parton

#41. I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that's it.

Jackie Mason

#42. My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.

Cathy Guisewite

#43. I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.

Aziz Ansari