Top 36 Best Jackass Quotes
#1. Oh, sweetie, you are a jackass. I love you, but you are dumber than a one legged duck in an ass kicking contest when pigs fly.
Tara Sivec
#2. On an otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American Dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.
Larry Correia
#3. TEXAN: "Where are you from?" HARVARD STUDENT: "I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions." TEXAN: "OK, where are you from, jackass?" - Variation on an old joke
Ammon Shea
#4. A jackass can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build one.
Sam Rayburn
#5. You'd better be careful, they are going to revoke your vampire license if you get any more romantic and mushy."
"Don't worry," Burnett said, his eyes pinched as if serious. "I can still be a jackass, and kick ass, when it's called for.
C.C. Hunter
#6. Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.
Mark Twain
#7. You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall.
"Love you, too, jackass!
Rachel Caine
#8. You stupid jackass," Ian said.
"Who's got the crush on a worm, bro? You gonna call me stupid?
Stephenie Meyer
#10. But the reality is we often become our kindest, most ethical selves only by seeing what it feels like to be a selfish jackass first.
Cheryl Strayed
#11. Idiot! Lunatic! Moron! Jackass! Selfish irresponsible fool!
Stephenie Meyer
#12. I once told Nixon that the Presidency is like being a jackass caught in a hail storm. You've got to just stand there and take it.
Lyndon B. Johnson
#13. What?' Noah looked at me, all innocence.
'You're not shy.'
'No?'
'No,' I said, narrowing my eyes. 'And pretending to be makes you look like a jackass.'
Noah feigned offense. 'You've wounded me to the core with your profane characterization.'
'Pass the tissues.
Michelle Hodkin
#14. i aint the sharpest knife in the drawer , but i know enough to know that if your gonna be dumb you have to be tuff... i
Jose Torres
#15. Just because a jackass brays does not mean you have to pay attention.
Jeanne Phillips
#16. The Jackass movies are honestly some of the best movies I've ever seen. I laugh so hard at them. Those guys are geniuses. If they had grown up with a different group of people, they could've been performance artists at Bard College, and people would be writing papers about them.
Louis C.K.
#17. I felt like people really do their best work when they're having a really good time and feel safe to push the envelope and make a jackass out of themselves.
Clark Gregg
#18. Moi?" He put his hand over his heart and did his best wounded-innocent look. "You must be thinking of some other uncouth jackass. Which makes me jealous, by the way.
Rachel Caine
#19. If looks could kill ... well, Dick was already dead, so nothing would happen. But Gabriel was not laughing.
"See Dick," Dick said, pointing at his chest. He then swept his hand dangerously close to mind. "Jane. Dick and Jane. Come on, you humorless jackass. That's funny.
Molly Harper
#20. Using porn to guide sexual activity, is like using Jackass to model behaviour.
Merlyn Gabriel Miller
#21. He slammed the door shut in Ian's face, the lock clicking into place. Ian hit it again with his fist before roaring, If I were a pervert, I'd be looking for something a damn bit more attractive than you, jackass. And definitely someone that smelled alive.
Rose Wynters
#22. Yup," Heather replied. "Some jackass tries to prick me and I'm gonna prick him right back! Leave the bottle, bucko. Save ya a trip.
Jacob D. Lochner
#23. Murray said, "Is this Heaven?"
The Voice said, "This is no place as you understand place."
Murray was embarrassed, but the next question had to be asked. "Pardon me if I sound like a jackass. Are you God?
Isaac Asimov
#24. They?" he said, sounding apprehensive.
"Me. They're like me."
"Don't be a jackass," Roswell said, but not meanly. "No one's like you.
Brenna Yovanoff
#26. When wine drinkers tell me they taste notes of cherries, tobacco and rose petals, usually all I can detect is a whole lot of jackass.
Joel Stein
#27. Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
Paris Hilton
#28. Can you see the future, Kerbouchard?"
"Who would wish to? Our lives hold a veil between anticipation and horror. Anticipation is the carrot suspended before the jackass to keep him moving forward. Horror is what he would see if he took his eyes off the carrot.
Louis L'Amour
#29. I don't think it's cool when I have to announce that I'm gluten-free; in fact, I feel like a total jackass 99.9 percent of the time.
April Peveteaux
#30. You look more of less the same."
She strode right past him. "And you still look like a jackass," she said sweetly.
Sarah J. Maas
#31. 'Jackass: The Movie' is great. I think it's in the tradition of physical comedy, which I'm really interested in. Its relationship to gravity, and how gravity acts on the body.
Matthew Barney
#32. You stupid, selfish, philandering coach-class jackass.
Kate Klise
#33. This someone you were talking with wouldn't be that Frost fellow, would it?" Ewan's crisp accent floated into the kitchen like a brisk breeze. "The last thing you need is to be talking to that moronic jackass.
Monica Burns
#34. A woman could love a jackass. She could not love a son of a bitch. Many have tried, Gideon. Many have tried.
Deanna Raybourn
#35. Want to copy my stellar notes?" Cooper asked, scooting his desk closer.
Glancing at his notes, I shrugged. "You do have very nice penmanship. Dainty even."
"Bitch."
"Jackass."
"Gorgeous."
"Stud."
"You have no idea.
Bijou Hunter
#36. I don't want easy. I want the impossible. I want love so thick, I drown in it; it's the only thing worth having and, I'm sorry Kona, you're a nice guy when you're not acting like an entitled jackass, but I really don't think you're capable of being anything more than that.
Eden Butler
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