Top 100 Beard Quotes
#1. To shave off the beard (or any body hair) is to symbolically annihilate the (essentially specious) boundary separating Self from Other
Neal Stephenson
#2. The gravedigger looks like Santa Claus, and I don't believe for a minute he doesn't know it. With his long white beard and stout build, he has to know the effect of wearing a red and white anorak and how inappropriate the whole getup looks in the Mount Zion Cemetery.
Jonathan Tropper
#3. I feel I am a little bit older. Reckon I will start growing a beard next week.
Niall Horan
#4. But you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it's the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's beard look good.
Bill Walton
#5. Since when are you so 'faithful'? just a couple of years ago you would show up in your tight jeans and borrow our car to pick up one of your five girlfriends. You think that beard makes you a man of God?
Dalia Sofer
#6. Put differently, harden the fuck up, soldier. (And beard the fuck on, while we're at it.)
Chuck Wendig
#7. Toward the end of February 1954, James Beard was at work in his Greenwich Village kitchen doing what he most loved to do: cooking delicious meals.
Laura Shapiro
#9. Headwise, I always kind of knew that everyone goes grey in our family very early - and I was like, it works for me. I started growing my beard, and it changes the shape of your skull and your face, and I started seeing my mother's side of the family in myself for the first time.
Douglas Coupland
#10. There was a part of my brain that wanted to ask if his wife had a beard, verify my theory. I told that part of my brain to shut up.
R.R. Virdi
#11. To grow a philosopher's beard.
Horace
#12. David and his followers taught no new doctrines, in their dispersion or when they came to power, that can be brought to countenance thee at all in shaving off thy beard.
Lord George Gordon
#13. What'd you do to your face?" she asks, folding her arms. I touch my chin. "I grew a beard." "Well ungrow it. It looks like a vagina from a 1970s porn film.
Emma Chase
#14. Don't judge a man by the size of his ego or his heart, but on the epicness of his beard and the beautiful woman on his arm
Abraham Lincoln
#15. One of those big hands ran over his short hair and I swear my sex wept in gratitude at the sight. I was out of control. If he fondled his beard I might faint.
Anonymous
#16. Most of what a man is has been written by the time his beard starts to prickle. A babe is made of maybes. There are few crimes worse than the ending of something before its time.
Mark Lawrence
#17. That's a big nose," he croaked and instantly realized he shouldn't have said something so impolite. I must be light headed, e thought. But the face smiled. The teeth seemed inordinatley white against the dark beard and skin.
The only one I have," he said.
John Flanagan
#18. The establishment irritates you - pull your beard, flick your face - to make you fight because once they've got you violent they know how to handle you. The only thing they don't know how to handle is non-violence and humour.
John Lennon
#19. Where I'm from," Tom tilted his head to the side, "they call your kind a hipster or a lumbersexual, with the beard and flannel and such."
Without missing beat, Jethro responded, "Ah. See, where I'm from, they call my kind a man.
Penny Reid
#20. I love having a shaved head. I'd rather not deal with hair if I don't have to. I like not thinking about it. A shaved head and letting my beard go requires the least amount of anything.
Chris Evans
#21. The old man asked again. "When I'm gone." His eyes blinked from behind his glasses. His neatly trimmed beard was gray, and he stood slightly stooped. Are you dying? I asked. "Not yet," he said, grinning. Then why - "Because I think you would
Mitch Albom
#22. I can't be one of those hipster guys with a beard when I have a hair campaign. I strive to look a little bit more ... all-American.
C. J. Wilson
#23. You know that Yeti-beard doesn't make you look more manly, right?" Dean says cheerfully as we walk out the door.
Tuck shrugs. "I was going for rugged, actually."
I snicker. "Well, it's not that, either, Babyface. You look like a mad scientist.
Elle Kennedy
#24. a man--venerable, with a white beard, or on a cross, or as a baby, or a sage seated in the full lotus position. Are these not limiting incarnations, temporary housings, of the great energy process?
Timothy Leary
#26. With his hair tied back and about three days worth of beard Win looked more like a vagrant than a comm guru. Except for those keen, blue eyes. Eyes currently alive with that uncomfortable piercing quality, as if he were reading his mind.
Marcha A. Fox
#27. I used the stormy gray and heather brown shadows from the Lilac Rose Eye Palette to create a soft smokey eye for Veronica Beard's Spring 2013 show. The look was dramatic but delicate.
Bobbi Brown
#28. The man driving wears a hat, a beard, and a smile.
Veronica Roth
#29. The beard, being a half-mask, should be forbidden by the police - It is, moreover, as a sexual symbol in the middle of the face, obscene: that is why it pleases women.
Arthur Schopenhauer
#30. I always have a beard between jobs. I just let it grow until they pay me to shave it. People are quite surprised it's ginger. Sometimes they ask me if dye my hair and I always say 'Wow, no!' I'm 'trans-ginger.'
James McAvoy
#31. The figure stopped to cough long and hard, making a noise like a wall being hit repeatedly with a bag of rocks. Moist saw that it had a beard of the short bristled type that suggested that its owner had been interrupted halfway through eating a hedgehog.
Terry Pratchett
#32. His stubble was thick and not groomed. He was not a man who forgot to shave that day or had been too busy to do so for a couple. It had been weeks. Though it was not a full grown beard. I
Kristen Ashley
#33. The job of the skin is to keep it all in.
-The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil
Stephen Collins
#35. I'm an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard.
Raymond Chandler
#36. If you mean you think it is my job to go into the secret passage first, O Thorin Thrain's son Oakenshield, may your beard grow ever longer," he said crossly, "say so at once and have done!
J.R.R. Tolkien
#37. I know who the real hero is, and it isn't me or brave Lanaya. It's an old man with a white beard and a walking stick and a heart so big it won't let him stop thinking he can change the world by writing down things in a book no one will ever read.
Rodman Philbrick
#38. Mendham was a cadaverous man with a magnificent beard. He looked,indeed, as if he had run to beard as a mustard plant runs to seed. But when he spoke you found he had a voice as well.
H.G.Wells
#39. I don't know what it is on an elemental level, but a beard in general evokes hedonism. It's a more lush personal grooming style. It's more comfortable and cozy; it's less sharp and angular and businesslike. I feel like a beard is more Hobbit-like, even though Hobbits themselves are clean-shaven.
Nick Offerman
#40. Above the sink in the scratched mirror he looked grubby and bloated, his beard a grizzled mess. He knew what these men could never know: A man is who he is. That doesn't change. A thief is a thief. A bad man stays a bad man underneath. He'd been set at seventeen. "You want to end
Rae Meadows
#41. Is she very terrible?"
The Green Wind frowned into his brambly beard. "All little girls are terrible, " he admitted finally, "but the Marquess, at least, has a very fine hat.
Catherynne M Valente
#42. I shave my head & shape my beard myself
Banky W.
#43. I mind how once we lay such a transparent summer morning, How you settled your head athwart my hips and gently turn'd over upon me, And parted the shirt from my bosom-bone, and plunged your tongue to my bare-stript heart, And reach'd till you felt my beard, and reach'd till you held my feet.
Walt Whitman
#44. Doesn't Momoa have a beard?" I wave my hand. "Who has time to look at his beard when his muscles are on display?
Kristen Callihan
#45. I just lead my life as naturally, as normally as I possibly can. But I can't help it if controversy is hounding me day in and day out. I'm quite amazed sometimes by the way they go about it. I grow a beard and it lands up in the editorial in The Times of India.
Amitabh Bachchan
#46. Swimming, Freud favors the breaststroke, to keep his beard dry.
Peter D. Kramer
#47. No. I grew a beard because no one was around to teach us boys how to shave." .
Penny Reid
#48. Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?
Prince Philip
#49. He is but as the stubble of the field, and yet he has no beard.
Marguerite Young
#50. Christmas movies, it's a hard thing to do. The danger is you just end up with a Hollywood star with a Santa beard. You risk it being fake and cheesy and not real.
Peter Baynham
#51. We've produced a generation of spiritual panhandlers, begging for coins of wisdom, banging like bums on every closed door ... if an old man moves into a shack or a cave and lets his beard grow, people will flock from miles around just to read his "no trespassing" sign
Tom Robbins
#52. I really want to disappear, grow a beard, not talk to anyone, not make any friends ... I just want to disappear and study.
Rivers Cuomo
#53. If Richard Branson had worn a pair of steel-rimmed glasses, a double-breasted suit and shaved off his beard, I would have taken him seriously. As it was I couldn't ...
John King, Baron King Of Wartnaby
#54. Throughout this evolution from left to right, Beard always detested war. Hence his writings were slanted to show that the military side of history was insignificant or a mere reflection of economic forces.
Samuel E. Morison
#55. I have said I have met Satan, and this is true. But it is not tangible. It no more has horns, hooves and a forked tail than God has a long white beard. Even the name, Satan, is just a name we have given to something basically nameless.
M. Scott Peck
#56. They were bullyin' him, Hermione, 'cause he's so small!" said Hagrid.
"Small?" said Hermione. "Small?"
"Hermione, I couldn't leave him," said Hagrid, tears now trickling down his bruised face into his beard. "See
he's my brother!
J.K. Rowling
#57. It is easy to sympathize at a distance,' said an old gentleman with a beard. 'I value more the kind word that is spoken close to my ear.
E. M. Forster
#58. Generally, women can't do this, but men retain the ancient ability to leave a family and a past. They just unhook themselves, like removing a fake beard, and skulk discreetly back into society, changed men. Unrecognizable.
Zadie Smith
#59. My wife hates the beard. When we dated, I would grow it out during duck season. She said she could handle anything for three months - but now I have it all the time.
Jase Robertson
#61. The giant scratched his beard, and a single white whisker twirled down like an Apache helicopter and crashed nearby, sending up a mushroom cloud of snow.
Rick Riordan
#62. I think they were afraid that some of us would try to kill ourselves or something because they looked very tense and one of them kept touching his beard.
Stephen Chbosky
#63. Is that a beard, or is Niedermayer eating a muskrat?
Harry Neale
#64. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
#65. He's got himself, and he's got a beard. That's all Chris Jericho needs.
Todd Grisham
#66. And once again, that high, domed sky makes me feel a wide vista of emotion, and once again I could weep at an overturned chair or a torn page, or today, Larry's scruffy beard and the ink on his fingers that I can see from here.
Deb Caletti
#67. What notion did you have of Canada when you came?" Mistry smile delicately, the face behind the trimmed beard and glasses like that of a student. "I thought it would complete me.
Noah Richler
#68. So here's where they put you. I didn't think they even used these cells anymore." He glanced sideways. "I got the wrong window at first. Gave your friend in the next cell something of a shock. Attractive fellow, what with the beard and the rags. Kind of reminds me of the street folk back home.
Cassandra Clare
#69. Do not pluck the beard of a dead lion.
[Lat., Noli
Barbam vellere mortuo leoni.]
Juvenal
#70. Cena with the WWE Title, Randy Orton with the Money In The Bank briefcase, & Daniel Bryan with the beard.
Jerry Lawler
#71. face. She glided her fingers over the rough skin where his beard grew, feeling how real he was. Real, and with her in that past.
Lucian Bane
#72. If you have any shame, forbear to pluck the beard of a dead lion.
Martial
#73. My wife asked me about that: "What happened to your beard?" I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, "Hey, the right side is shorter than the left." I said, "You gotta be kidding me." So I went in there and looked, and I combed it out and I said, "I don't know, that's just the way it grows."
Si Robertson
#74. I wish we had the technology to fight God on an equal basis. To beard him in his den. To fight back for all of the injustices heaped on humanity. To allow him to alter his smug arrogance or be blown to hell.
Dan Simmons
#75. The lights of Saxon England were going out, and in the gathering darkness a gentle, grey-beard prophet foretold the end. When on his death-bed Edward spoke of a time of evil that was coming upon the land his inspired mutterings struck terror into the hearers.
Winston Churchill
#76. You can't just fly into the Great Coat, shoot your way into Bluewater, and take Kai and his father,' I told him.
'Why not?'
'Cause you can't. They'll killl you, for one thing.'
Ulysses scratched his beard. 'Hmm. Need a better plan.
Cameron Stracher
#77. It's fairly standard. Also, I'm fourteen. Also, your
beard's stupid."
"Isn't this fun?" Skulduggery said brightly. "The three of us
getting along so well.
Derek Landy
#78. chubby face was hidden underneath a thick beard. His gut stuck out just a little bit over his waist but that didn't stop him from wearing these tight polo shirts and a pair of slacks every night. Maybe he thought it added a little class to the place. But people weren't here
Rhea Wilde
#79. When I was presenting 'Animal Hospital,' the grey started to creep into my beard and moustache. I used my wife's mascara to darken it.
Rolf Harris
#80. Growing up, the way that I looked was very important to me. I was always trying to impress people, and when I grew my beard there was a certain freedom, a separation, getting past this the way I looked, identify myself as a spiritual seeker.
Matisyahu
#81. A young man with an untrimmed beard and rebellious eyes looked like a conscientious objector to everything.
Ross Macdonald
#82. Personally, I think that the concept of an old white guy with a beard in a red coat coming down a chimney in the middle of the night or a fairy with a tooth fetish sliding things under my pillow while I sleep would be way freakier, but no, for kids it's monsters. Monsters
Jim Gaffigan
#83. I see the beard and cloak, but I don't yet see a philosopher.
Aulus Gellius
#84. The incongruous combination of white hair, beard, and powerful arms usually caused boys to scatter with the muddled impression that Father Christmas was angry with them.
Helen Oyeyemi
#85. I couldn't tell fact from fiction,
Or if the dream was true
My only sure prediction
In this world was you.
I'd touch your features inchly. Beard love and dared the cost, The sented spiel reeled me unreal And I found my senses lost.
Maya Angelou
#86. It's usually my mom who gets on me about my facial hair. I can't grow a good mustache, so I guess it's just a neck beard. I just have trouble growing up there.
Andrew Luck
#87. A man with a beard was always a little suspect anyway. You couldn't say you wore a beard because you liked a beard. People didn't like you for telling the truth. You had to say you had a scar so you couldn't shave.
John Steinbeck
#88. Then the green man's face grew even blacker, the red beard so red it seemed to crackle and sparkle like fir twigs on the fire; the mouth contracted to an arrow-like point before it opened to inquire in the sweetest, gentlest tones.
Jeremias Gotthelf
#89. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
Clement Clarke Moore
#90. Do you believe in God, Arthur?" I said, eating the last piece of sponge.
"Do I believe in an old man in the clouds with a white beard judging us mortals with a moral code from one to ten? Good Lord no, my sweet Elly, I do not!
Sarah Winman
#92. There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do?"
I said, "Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.
Louise Rennison
#93. God, if he wasn't so handsome, strong,
sometimes sweet, didn't have a Harley, that beard, a tendency to play with my hair, didn't look so good in jeans and wasn't so danged good in bed, he would seriously not be worth it.
Kristen Ashley
#94. The scruffier your beard, the sharper you need to dress.
Ashton Kutcher
#95. god bless the man with the beard, the missing teeth and the poverty Ritchie
Markus Zusak
#96. It is almost impossible to carry the torch of truth through a crowd without singeing somebody's beard.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
#97. Ah Fate, cannot a man Be wise without a beard? East, West, from Beer to Dan, Say, was it never heard That wisdom might in youth be gotten, Or wit be ripe before 't was rotten?
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#98. People think God is a man. People think God has got ears, nose, teeth and he rises daily in the morning, brushes his teeth and washes his mouth. And he is an old man and he has a beard. All these things people think. But no, God is energy. God is perfect and pure energy.
Prem Rawat
#99. In comics, we're all weird together. I can go to a comics convention and not stand out, even though I'm the only woman in a headscarf there, because the guy next to me has a beard and a Sailor Moon costume.
G. Willow Wilson
#100. I wouldn't have cared if my girlfriend was a Jaguar-driving Cyclops with a beard - I'd have been grateful just to have someone to make out with.
John Green
