Top 100 Ass'll Quotes
#1. I met a gypsy and she hipped me to some life game,
To stimulate, then activate the left and right brain.
Said, 'Baby boy, you only funky as your last cut.
You focus on the past, your ass'll be a has-what.'
That's one to live by, or either that's one to die to.
Andre Benjamin
#2. Some people think a song without words isn't a real song. Tell that to Beethoven and he'll kick your ass!
Eddie Van Halen
#3. They'll be fine," Wickersham said. "Practice makes perfect."
I had to ask. "You practice running away?"
"We knew we'd make enemies. Other organizations have fire drills; we have oh-shit-someone-found-our-ass drills.
Scott Westerfeld
#4. My girl deserves a man who'll give his all for her happiness and I'm going to bust my ass trying to do that
Kathryn Perez
#5. When I die, bury me on my stomach and let the world kiss my ass.
LL Cool J
#6. Fu*k!"
"Anytime, darling," he yelled up to her. "Just get your cute ass back down here and I'll get straight to work on that.
Lily Graison
#7. Yeah, Yeah - I know I'm the most kick-ass best friend ever. But, did you tell Kai that if he breaks your heart I'll kick his ass? - Jase
H.R. Willaston
#8. I'm just doing what I have to do. I don't have a choice."
"Yeah, good luck going to bed with a guilt-free conscience with that sorry-ass excuse."
The sour expression evaporated from Mr. Greek's face. His gaze switched back to the computer. "Keep talking and I'll gag you."
"Blow me.
Santino Hassell
#9. I'm just tellin' you to keep your eyes open and watch your heart. Or, more to the point, watch your ass because if you don't, Shy'll tap it.
Kristen Ashley
#10. I'll stick this so far up your ass, the smoke will come out your ears.
Abigail Roux
#11. If you don't get her out of my damn face, I'm going to put my foot so far up her ass she'll taste my shoe polish for weeks." "I
Reana Malori
#12. I hoisted myself onto my elbows. "Yeah, well, if I ever come back as a Grigori, then I'll kick your ass."
"You'll come back, and you'll be a Grigori." He spoke with such certainty it made me smile. "I doubt very greatly, however, that you'll kick my ass. But me and my ass will enjoy your efforts.
Jessica Shirvington
#13. You're a little whore, kitten, but you're my little whore. Do you understand? I own this mouth. I can fuck it with my hand until you drool. I own this ass, and I'll put a hook in it when I like. Your cunt is mine to fuck with anything I want.
C.D. Reiss
#14. The truth will set you free, its the little white lies that'll save your ass.
James Patterson
#15. I'm going to fuck you, and it's going to turn your world on its ass when I do. You will be so strung out over my cock, you'll ache for it like a junkie.
Courtney Lane
#16. Savannah, I've been talking my ass off for more than an hour now, telling you shit no one's ever heard anything about, hoping that I'll say something, Jesus God, anything that will convince you to have sex with me.
Suzanne Brockmann
#17. You'll be asked to be the ass He rides into Jerusalem, but it's a heavy load, and it'll break your back, because He's carrying the sins of the world.
Walter Miller
#18. I can't promise that I'll never be an ass, or that I'll never make you cry. I can't promise that I won't make you so angry you want to cosh me over the head with a brick. I can't promise you forever ... I'd love to, but I can give you right now. I can give you me in all my defective glory.
Kady Cross
#19. My daddy told me that Parrish men are susceptible to love at first sight. We're one-woman men and when we find our woma, we better never let her go or we'll spend a lot of years kicking ourselves in the ass.
Rachel Gibson
#20. That was for the hard-on I'll be walking around with tonight. And you'll goddamn wear the imprint of my hand on your ass for it.
Tessa Bailey
#21. Privileges of age, size, and ass-kissing. If you survive this conversation, you'll find that it's just the same in most of the big gangs.
Scott Lynch
#22. Now finish what you started or I'll show you how mean I can be." My eyes drifted down her body. "I do like that tight little ass of yours."
"You wouldn't."
"You should know better by now.
Teresa Mummert
#23. I'm a kind person, I'm kind to everyone, but if you are unkind to me, then kindness is not what you'll remember me for
Al Capone
#24. And you should warn him that if he hurts you, I will scissor kick him in the nuts. Tell him, okay? You tell him that. Because I mean it. I'll go all kinds of Bruce Lee on his tasty ass.
M. Leighton
#25. Well I'll be honest ... sometimes it's really hard-"
"I know." I smirked, feeling saucy. "I can tell. I'm pretty much straddling you right now."
"Really hard to stop, smart-ass," Brendan emphasized, giving me a playful squeeze before cocking an eyebrow at me.
Cara Lynn Shultz
#26. Well, if the kid screws up, then I'll just have to kick his ass.
Dante Alighieri
#27. No, Arin. Sit down. Other wise you'll make an ass out of yourself, and that role is mine.
Marie Rutkoski
#28. You'll never think of the old Cain and Abel battle the same way. Day's gripping, compelling, and kick-ass Eve of Darkness will have you eagerly awaiting the next book in the series.
Toni McGee Causey
#29. There is nowhere for this to go that's good and you know it, just like me."
"The only thing I know is, what's at the end of the road we're on is unknown. Along the way, I break through that fortress you've built around you and manage to extract your head from your ass, it'll be worth the trip.
Kristen Ashley
#30. I'm a certified bad-ass indestructible bitch. The sun tries to burn me, I'll kick him in his fiery balls. I don't need no stinking suntan lotion.
Chuck Wendig
#31. I'll distract her ... Okay, lady. Say hello to my little friend." Lance began to laugh maniacally. "What'd you do?" Heinrich asked. "Had a rat crawl up her dress to bite her on the ass. Ha!
Larry Correia
#32. I have to get used to it - to her, but she's put a light in him so I think I'm going to be a fan."
"You're a stand-up gal, Swede."
"If she screws him up, I'll peel the skin off her ass with a dull razor blade.
Nora Roberts
#33. Ty crawled over him again, pressing him to the mattress and kissing him until they were both breathless. "I'll make sure of it tonight. Now get your ass in gear, let's go get legalized.
Abigail Roux
#34. I think you just gave me a mini-orgasm," I shared.
"If you get your ass over here, I'll give you one that is not mini.
Kristen Ashley
#35. What's unacceptable is that you'll accept my cock in practically every orifice of your body, my tongue in your ass and you'll swallow my semen, but you won't accept clothing from me.
Ella Dominguez
#36. [A]ll I want to do is sit on my ass and fart and think of Dante.
Samuel Beckett
#37. If an ass goes travelling, he'll not come home a horse.
Thomas Fuller
#38. I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass.
Dennis Miller
#39. One thing you'll never hear boys
or for that matter, men
saying is, Charlie, that's a good-looking shirt. Kind of a fun thing. And those trousers make your ass look nice. Can I borrow those?
Tim Allen
#40. Find some people you give a shit about. Who care about you. Who are smarter than you are. Find a woman. Who laughs at you. Who'll kick your ass out of the house. You find that woman and she's the same woman who'll throw herself in front of a truck for you? Well, then you're somewhere.
Alexander Maksik
#41. Fuck, No I'll handle this, i'm going to kick her ass and throw her out of the window. Then, I'll climb into my box and let your people clean up the mess.
H.M. Ward
#42. If you think the worst you'll get the worst, but if you think the best ... "
"and then everything will blow up in your face anyway. Don't you get the punchline yet? Its the great cosmic practical joke: Knock knock, who's there? Big kick in the Ass.
Brad Meltzer
#43. So you'll be my bodyguard for any guys who want to introduce me to anal?' I joke.
'I will defend your virtue and your ass to the death,' he says with a knightly vow.
Bianca Giovanni
#44. Am I doing what I really want to be doing? Absolutely not, yet I haven't ruled out that I'll get back into the mess. But after having my ass kicked day in and day out for ten years, it's about time that I have some life left in me.
Jennifer Topper
#45. I'll rip the fucking asshole's dick off and stuff it down his douche-bag throat. Take my whip and cornhole the bastard peckerheaded fuckwad till his ass whistles "The Star Spangled Banner." Then I'll break the dried-up piece of jackwad's leg off and shove it up his ass.
Cherise Sinclair
#46. He kisses the D.S.'s hand thrusting his fingers into his mouth (the D.S. must feel his toothless gums) complaining he has lost teeth "inna thervith". "Please Boss Man. I'll wipe your ass, I'll wash out your dirty condoms, I'll polish your shoes with the oil on my nose ...
William S. Burroughs
#47. Go 'head." Those freaky-ass black eyes had stared at Butch with the intensity of a shark. "Crack open that door. Run your little heart out. Run fast, run smart, call for help. Just know that I'll come after you. Like a hearse." - Zsadist
J.R. Ward
#48. Oh baby, I'll fuck you when I'm ready. Right now, I want to redden your ass, so your pussy will have to wait.
Lainie Suzanne
#49. I'll be right there, Master," she yelled back. "Lord Ass," she muttered,
Lucian Bane
#50. Are you going to kick somebody's ass?
I don't know. Maybe.
Well, I'm not going to worry. I've watched you spar with that martial arts dummy in the backyard lots of times, and you always win.
Thanks, buddy. I'll see you soon.
Kevin Hearne
#51. Chase? He actually said that to you?"
She frowned. "Yes."
"When?"
"When we were in bed."
"Great timing," Dee muttered. "Just like a man. We'll just file him away under D for dumb ass and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Or better yet, S for sicko.
Lindsey Brookes
#52. I'll let a mystery gas out of my blistery ass
Just to disrupt the misery of history class.
MC Paul Barman
#53. He's gonna end up cursing around Blaire, and you're gonna be sleeping on the couch for a week. Maybe she'll stick your ass under the stairs. I hear payback is a bitch, I told him, referring to how Blaire had slept in a room under Rush's stairs when she first came to town.
Abbi Glines
#54. Here's the thing- I love you and I love her, but I swear to God I'll kick your ass if you hurt her.
Katie McGarry
#55. Dreams won't always take you on a straight path to destiny but they're usually related to what your soul wants for you. They'll force you to ask yourself the hard questions, they'll kick your ass and more importantly, they'll turn you on.
Kelly Cutrone
#56. The problem was, I was labeled as trouble - so I was like, 'Trouble? I'll show you trouble. You want trouble, well here it is!' No matter what label they give you, the best thing you can do is prove them wrong.
Pink
#57. Are we going to tell him?"
"It'll be hard to deny with that big-ass rock on your finger.
Jamie McGuire
#58. I'm gonna kick your teeth so far down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me off.
The Undertaker
#59. Most chick singers say 'if you hurt me, I'll die' ... I say, 'if you hurt me, I'll kick your ass.'
Pat Benatar
#60. Well, Bud," he said, looking at me, "I'll be damned if you don't go to a lot of trouble to have your fun. Kidnapping, then fighting. What do you do on your holidays? Burn houses?
William Faulkner
#61. If you disrespect my woman like that again, I'll kick your fuckin' ass. You won't get back up.
Olivia Cunning
#62. Periodically I just notch up. And everyone among my colleagues thinks that Perfidia - in its accessibility, its big throbbing heart - will be the biggest notch up yet. We'll see what happens. It's on my ass.
James Ellroy
#63. I had a good teacher."
"Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass."
"I mean you, dummy.
Rachel Caine
#64. That's good," Hunter said, panting. "Keep grinning at your attacker like that and they'll think you're way creepy. And mental."
I grinned wider. "I totally love this. Who can I punch next?
Alyxandra Harvey
#65. If you lie there much longer, I'll be tempted to tie you to the table legs and try buttering your ass instead of the toast.
Cari Silverwood
#66. Keep running that smart mouth of yours and I'll bend you over, smack that phat ass and fuck you with my big cock!
L.A. Casey
#67. That's the kinda dude I was lookin fo & yes you'll get slapped if you lookin hoe
Nicki Minaj
#68. He's not my dad," Kaira said. "Just because he married my - As soon as I turn eighteen I'm firing his ass! Then I'll call you.
Louis Sachar
#69. I'll show you a pain in your ass." I gave him a wicked look. "Promises, promises.
Aileen Erin
#70. You believe me, don't you? You really do. Why do you believe me? Did Anechka do something to you? Now I owe you; and I may look little, but I know how to fight. I learned by fighting with Hargis. I'll kick her ass if she hurts you, Lane; just tell me - what did she do?
Blayne Giano O'hicidhe
Wynter Wilkins
#71. It's a hundred dollars for ten minutes." "Fuck, that's a lot! She doesn't have a golden pussy!" I hear the Bogeyman laugh that nasty laugh of his. It's slow and deep, making me even more scared. "Her pussy is golden, you'll be the first. So pay up or get your filthy ass out of my trailer!
Michelle Horst
#72. One day you'll be an inspiration at others.
Demi Lovato
#73. I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for the people in Bible.
Eddie Izzard
#74. I'll say I'm sorry for the rest of my life if you'll forgive me," he whispered in her ear.
"I want to hate you."
He pressed his forehead to hers. "You want to, but you don't?"
"I love you, you ass.
Bernadette Marie
#75. She can't wear that dress! It's indecent. Her ass is hangin' out."
...
"Son, take my advice, you gotta get this girl in hand. You can't let her run around with her ass hangin' out. You allow it once, she'll do it again. Trust me, I know.
Kristen Ashley
#76. Some people get to live life. Some people survive it. We're survivors. We can carve out our piece of happy, and, I swear to God, baby, right now, you got my vow, for you and for me, the rest of our lives, I'll bust my ass to carve our piece of happy.
Kristen Ashley
#77. That girl seemed awful nice. If that bastard did anything to her, I've got a crowbar in my trunk that'll fit might fine up that moron's ass.
Vonnie Davis
#78. It's getting a little chilly in here! Why don't we sit by the fireplace and I'll tell you the story of how I single handedly killed the Medina boys!
Angel Ramon Medina
#79. No way, Loopy Loo. You aren't hoardin' all the action." He turned to Indy, "You're drivin' because we can all fit in your silly-ass car. When we see a break in the coffee action, I'll go home and get my shotgun.
Kristen Ashley
#80. I can't be in your place as I don't have a fat, knocked-up ass to sit on. Yeah, you asked me for a major, and if you want to come through on it, you'll sit down, shut up, and let me work. Bitch.
J.D. Robb
#81. One thing I've learned about vampires
they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#82. Everyone's a liar. Everyone hides the truth and covers their ass at some point in their lives. You want to know who someone is...what they stand for...watch what they do. They'll tell you who they are.
Samantha Jacobey
#83. Groceries, baby, listen to your friend Richard. You go set your lily-white ass down in that meditation cave every day for the next three months and I promise you this
you're gonna start seeing some stuff that's so damn beautiful it'll make you wanna throw rocks at the Taj Mahal.
Elizabeth Gilbert
#84. A lie is like a pet- you have to take care of it, or it'll turn on you and bite you in the ass.
Matthew Woodring Stover
#85. It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.
Greg Behrendt
#86. Touched by an angel, my ass!" roared the woman, whom I recognized despite the ash covering her face: Moondance. "I'll touch you, asshole!" She fired again.
Carol Goodman
#87. Here's my philosophy. Adopt it, and you'll make it out alive. Every man for himself. You watch your own ass. Your con goes orange? You fall back to defensive position. No heroics. And no stupidity. Got it?
Eve Silver
#88. Everybody's scared for their ass. There aren't too many people ready to die for racism. They'll kill for racism but they won't die for racism.
Florynce Kennedy
#89. I'll take this. I'll take this every day and every day I'll know in the end I beat that bastard. He might not have been alive to see it, but I bet his goddamned, motherfucking ass.
Seriously, he was hot when he was being all vengeful badass.
Kristen Ashley
#90. You get the benefit of the doubt because according to the Eternal Sun gossip committee, you're good as gold. They better be right, or I'll stick my boot up your ass so far it'll set up residency in your throat.
Elle Aycart
#91. Believe it or not, one of my favorite songs is 'La Marseillaise'. I'll watch Casablanca just to hear it. It is enough to get me off my ass and want to jump on a horse and yell, "Charge!"
Seymour Stein
#92. If you just write the kinds of stories you think others will want to read, you'll be competing with cartoonists who are far more enthusiastic for that kind of comic than you are, and they'll kick your ass every time.
Scott McCloud
#93. You don't fuck with fate, Oz, because she'll ass-rape you with no lube, wearing a spiked dildo.
Katrina Monroe
#94. Man wants the truth about Ed Watson," Daniels jeered. "Where you aim to find it? Smallwoods'll tell you their truth, Hardens'll tell you theirs. Fat-ass guard out there, he'll tell you his and I'll give you another. Which one you aim to settle for and make your peace with?
Peter Matthiessen
#95. Don't push it." Cormac said as he looked back to Burrom. "You'll go under again one day, and I'll find out where you're buried and plant a goddamn park bench right over your ass."
"You wouldn't!"
"With a colorful flower box full of daises right beside it.
Donna Augustine
#97. I'll spank your ass so damn hard there'll be a permanent handprint right there."
She gave him a cheeky smile. "As long as you understand there'll be a matching one on your face.
Suzanne Wright
#98. I'll take him outside and beat him for making my girl cry. (Acheron)
Really? (Kat)
Absolutely. Forget medieval, I'll break Atlantean on his ass, and you've seen what a ticked-off Atlantean god can do. Makes Hannibal Lecter look like a crybaby. (Acheron)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#99. So what's it to be, Bear?"
Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh.
"By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#100. I'll break your face, have your ass mumbling to the jay, you going against me dawg you makin a mistake. I'll split your wig and leave you open like a mickeal jackson jacket with all them zippers.
Curtis Jackson
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