Vatican's Quotes

#1. He habitually contrasted the beaten, penniless, half-naked King of the Jews screaming betrayal on a cross with the bejeweled, glamorously dressed pope whispering homilies above the Vatican's vault.

Toni Morrison

#2. It's like the Vatican's porn collection," Zeb told her. "Safe in our hands.

Margaret Atwood

#3. The Vatican's recognition of the State of Israel in 1997 could not have occurred without John Paul's leadership.

David Novak

#4. I was raised Catholic at a time when Vatican II was just taking hold.

Richard Montanari

#5. After September 11th, freedom of speech in America has become a topic that's touchier than a Vatican summer camp.

Dennis Miller

#6. And so the Afternoon Weekday Date Scorecard went like this: gay boys, 3. Bedsheets, below zero. Vatican-enforced check on virginity, 10. Sometimes life just plain sucked beyond the suckiest of suckage. And I was out of clean bedsheets, too.

Hayden Thorne

#7. Lord, I'll embrace whatever it is you want me to do, but please, please let me know what it is." - Father Kevin Thrall.

Peter J. Tanous

#8. I've been to the Vatican more than anyplace else outside this country in the world. I am mesmerized by it.

Rush Limbaugh

#9. What [Donald] Trump is saying is the pope will pray for Trump as president because Trump is gonna be the only guy trying to stop ISIS, which wants to take out the Vatican. It is. It is quite a curious thing.

Rush Limbaugh

#10. The Vatican is a dagger in the heart of Italy.

Thomas Paine

#11. From his first hours as pope, Francis has re-enacted or spoken of the great pastoral transformation of Vatican II as his own agenda.

Eugene Kennedy

#12. People are quite clear in viewing nuns as the servants and the teachers and the supporters of the poor. You contrast that with the fact that the Vatican did virtually nothing about long-known pedophiles, and it's just too much.

Gloria Steinem

#13. The pope was lying fully stretched out on the floor, his body half-obscured by Cardinal Villot, who was leaning over him. Calvi's heart jumped into his throat. The pontiff 's eyes were shut, his face distorted in pain. He wasn't breathing. He was life-less, drained of color.

Peter J. Tanous

#14. The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

Elayne Boosler

#15. The city of Rome is called the "city of seven hills" and the Vatican is located within its confinement. These are the hills: Palatine, Capitoline, Quirinal, Aventine, Esquiline, Viminal, and Caelian.

Robert Rite

#16. At Vatican Council II, one dissenting Roman Catholic theologian declared: "Yes, the Bible says "Be fruitful and multiply," but that was when the population was two per square world.

Israel Shenker

#17. At the Vatican, Mr. Putin and Francis were expected to focus on the persecution of Christians in the Middle East, particularly in Syria, an issue of mutual concern.

Anonymous

#18. Vatican City is a bit overrated in my opinion - no offence to the Vatican.

Ed Stoppard

#19. The love I felt for her on that train ride had a capital and provinces, parishes and a Vatican, an orange planet and many sullen moons
it was systemic and it was complete.

Gary Shteyngart

#20. Have you seen the Vatican wall? It's over 50-feet high. It's over 50-feet high. It's not even the kind of wall Trump's talking about building.

Rush Limbaugh

#21. Kevin's eyes shot open to complete darkness. What'd happened? His memory was returning slowly. He was now remembering. An ambush outside his apartment in the Vatican.

Peter J. Tanous

#22. We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?

Charlie Sheen

#23. In 1963 ... The Vatican condemned Dr. No as a 'dangerous mixture of violence, vulgarity, sadism and sex.' Ka-ching!

Manohla Dargis

#24. The Vatican is like a huge kind of magician's club. The more you look into it the more awful it becomes. And they're laughing at us. That's when I get angry.

Peter Mullan

#25. News conference in Chicago, where he apologized for the above statement, which was accepted by the Vatican. (11 August 1966)

John Lennon

#26. Dr. Jacobus, I am walking out your doors right now. I need clothes. I am going to Vatican City. One does not go to Vatican City with ones ass hanging out. Do I make myself clear?

Dan Brown

#27. The Vatican won't prosecute pedophile priests but I decide I'm not ready for motherhood and it's condemnation for me? These are the same people that won't support national condom distribution that PREVENTS teenage pregnancy.

Sonya Renee Taylor

#28. Hey, bad girl," came the deep, sexy voice of The Griffin himself. "Can't believe the Pope let
you out of the Vatican.

Tiffany Reisz

#29. If I'm in Rome for only 48 hours, I would consider it a sin against God to not eat cacio e pepe, the most uniquely Roman of pastas, in some crummy little joint where Romans eat. I'd much rather do that than go to the Vatican. That's Rome to me.

Anthony Bourdain

#30. Offerings for charity that Catholics from throughout the world sent to the Vatican were being used to plug up deficits created by a handful of Church officials who maneuvered the bureaucratic levers of the Holy See.

Gianluigi Nuzzi

#31. I'm a Catholic, and I have always been fascinated by not just my religion, but religion in general, in the sense that it is the ultimate brand that they're trying to sell. Whereas Ford is trying to sell cars, the Vatican is trying to sell salvation, which is a much better product to be peddling.

Tom Fontana

#32. It was the basilica of gossip, the Vatican of inside dope.

Robert Hughes

#33. And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

Peter J. Tanous

#34. The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name. But the Vatican wisely talked him out of Pope Boo Boo.

Craig Ferguson

#35. The Vatican has to strike a difficult balance between running a country and running a religious institution.

Ian Caldwell

#36. Her sponge cakes had the aroma of crucifixion.Within them was the sap of slyness and the fragrant frenzy of the Vatican.

Isaac Babel

#37. Why would our president close the embassy to the Vatican? Hopefully, it is not retribution for Catholic organizations opposing Obamacare.

Jeb Bush

#38. For Catholics before Vatican II, the land of the free was pre-eminently the land of Sister Says-except, of course, for Sister, for whom it was the land of Father Says.

Wilfrid Sheed

#39. I sincerely hope I can contribute to the progress there has been in relations between Jews and Catholics since the Second Vatican Council in a spirit of renewed collaboration.

Pope Francis

#40. The three Secrets of Fatima were closely held by the Vatican for decades, until the text of the third and last secret was finally released in 2000.

Peter J. Tanous

#41. One does not go to Vatican City with one's ass hanging out.

Dan Brown

#42. To allow the construction of places of worship other than Islamic ones in Saudi Arabia, it would be like asking the Vatican to build a mosque inside of it.

Abdullah Of Saudi Arabia

#43. The English language is direct, unapologetic, and wonderfully amoral. Italian has a beautiful sound, but you cannot help but feel that you are always dealing with ghosts from the past and the looming dark presence of the Vatican.

Chiara Barzini

#44. When you turn a blind eye to atrocities, you are complicit in them.

David Crossman

#45. You know that ISIS wants to go in and take over the Vatican? You have heard that. You know, that's a dream of theirs, to go into Italy.

Donald Trump

#46. Once you go Vatican, you never go back again.

Homer

#47. Vatican II and the Space/Information Age began in the same eye blink of history, with John XXIII's opening speech of Vatican II on Oct. 11, 1962, following John F. Kennedy's call for a round trip to the moon a month earlier.

Eugene Kennedy

#48. There seemed to be no one in a position of power, from the Vatican to Wall Street, from Parliament to Scotland Yard to Fleet Street, who could think of anything better to do than abuse it ...

Edward St. Aubyn

#49. Rush Limbaugh, we expect nonsense from him. But the Vatican, that's another story. When the Vatican is so threatened that it launches attacks on nuns, well, you know what they say in politics, a hit dog hollers.

Jennifer Granholm

#50. The changes in the Catholic Church since Vatican II can certainly be scanned in terms of this long retreat from the sacred which has followed the inception of consciousness into the human species.

Julian Jaynes

#51. And the Vatican, whatever anyone else might have thought on the subject, answered, like Hebrew National hot dogs, to "a higher authority.

Anonymous

#52. If you hack the Vatican server, have you tampered in God's domain?

Aaron Allston

#53. On December 7, 2059, Emilio Sandoz was released from the isolation ward of Salvator Mundi Hospital in the middle of the night and transported in a bread van to the Jesuit residence at Number 5 Borgo Santo Spirito, a few minutes' walk across St. Peter's Square from the Vatican.

Mary Doria Russell

#54. Extraterrestrial contact is a real phenomenon. The Vatican is receiving much information about extraterrestrials and their contacts with humans from its Nuncios (embassies) in various countries, such as Mexico, Chile and Venezuela.

Corrado Balducci

#55. Catholic sex is twenty minutes of pleading and whining (Vatican-approved foreplay), thirty seconds of involuntary shuddering and an hour of apologizing to God.

Lionel Fisher

#56. from a Second Vatican Council document: "The truth is that only in the mystery of the incarnate Word does the mystery of man find true light.

J. Budziszewski

#57. Many believe that the Vatican withheld important parts of the Third Secret, perhaps because its contents were too dangerous to reveal...

Peter J. Tanous

#58. Nowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio - you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and today - Benedict told them he was going to resign because the Church needs a fresh, young face, somewhere other than a priest's lap.

Bill Maher

#59. I think if the Vatican is smart, someday they'll collect my work.

Andres Serrano

#60. If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your cup of tea. I don't know what your version of 'all the pussy' is. But you'll get all the pussy.

Sarah Silverman

#61. The Vatican has tried to condemn 'The Magdalene Sisters' as a pack of lies and that I've made it all up - I wish I was that good a dramatist - and in terms of public relations, that was the daftest thing they ever did.

Peter Mullan

#62. Today, Angelina Jolie met with Pope Francis at the Vatican. Long story short: She adopted him.

Conan O'Brien

#63. Before Vatican II, in theology, as in other areas, the discipline was fixed. After the council there has been a revolution - a chaotic revolution - with free discussion on everything. There is now no common theology or philosophy as there was before.

Godfried Danneels

#64. What I don't like about America is not necessarily an American thing; it's a capitalist thing. This is the Vatican of capitalism.

Aleksandar Hemon

#65. Overseas, church, Vatican You at a stand still mannequin

Nicki Minaj

#66. In 1954, Pope Pius XI, of all people, sent some Vatican delegates on a trip to Libya with these written instructions: Do NOT think that you are going among Infidels. Muslims attain salvation, too. The ways of Providence are infinite.

Elizabeth Gilbert

#67. The Vatican has always had a core of diplomats for centuries. It has ambassadors in 180 countries and always played a kind of behind-the-scene role in many world issues.

Sylvia Poggioli

#68. One time when I was visiting The Vatican I got the Pope really drunk, and then while he was sleeping I put his hand in the holy water.

Greg Benson

#69. It was in that bubble after Vatican II when it seemed like the best time ever to grow up Catholic. It was a time when the church was so connected to the world.

Rob Sheffield

#70. Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he's got what it takes to be a priest - or an interior decorator.

Craig Ferguson

#71. Christians are now wide open to Asian religions, ready, in the words of Vatican II, to "acknowledge, preserve and promote the spiritual and moral goods" found among them.

Thomas Merton

#72. Where a love of natural beauty has been cultivated, all nature becomes a stupendous gallery, as much superior in form and in coloring to the choicest collections of human art, as the heavens are broader and loftier than the Louvre or the Vatican.

Horace Mann

#73. He knew that if Michelle entered into the walls of the Vatican, she'd corrupt every single clergyman within, causing them to forsake their vows in trade for a few moments with her. With one glance men would happily follow her to the bowels of hell and swim across the lake of fire to get to her.

Travis Luedke

#74. The fabric of space/time is much like one of the elaborate Vatican tapestries, thinks Nemes, and she who begins pulling on loose threads does so at the peril of watching the whole tapestry ravel.

Dan Simmons

#75. Calvi was sobbing. This couldn't be! A moment ago the Pope was healthy, smiling. How could His Holiness be no longer? Only a month into his papacy!

Peter J. Tanous

#76. The fact that the Vatican is concluding a treaty with the new Germany means the acknowledgement of the National Socialist state by the Catholic Church. This treaty shows the whole world clearly and unequivocally that the assertion that National Socialism is hostile to religion is a lie.

Adolf Hitler

#77. You know, ISIS, their [Vatican] primary trophy. Very few people know this. Nobody even believed it.

Donald Trump

#78. Vatican II declares the Church ... as necessary for salvation.

Francis Arinze

#79. There was only one decline in church attendance, and that was in the late 1960s when the Vatican said it was not a sin to miss Mass. They said Catholics could act like Protestants, and so they did.

Rodney Stark

#80. Under English law the penalty for eating meat on Friday was hanging. The law remained on the books until the sixteenth century, when Henry VIII broke with the Vatican.

Mark Kurlansky

#81. I'll even give you two moments, seeing as how I'm feeling generous." "Thank you ever so much. I'll contact the Vatican straight away to extoll your virtues and petition for sainthood.

Ben Reeder

#82. I sang 'O Holy Night' with the Vatican orchestra, but also a Blake - a lullaby that William Blake wrote for the Christ child, and I set it to music, and the Vatican orchestra played the music.

Patti Smith

#83. I don't live in the papal residence. I live in a simple apartment behind the Vatican gas station.

Pope Francis

#84. All he said was that we're all free if we pursue spirit. That's all he said. He didn't say let's set up a Vatican Concil. He didn't say, Martin Luther, you need to put our demands on the door.

Frederick Lenz

#85. What the Vatican did will be indelibly and eternally engraved in our hearts. Priests and even high prelates did things that will forever be an honor to Catholicism.

Israel Zolli

#86. When I moved to Seattle in fourth grade, I joined the Seattle Girls' Choir. It's a world-class choir, and we competed, toured Europe, and went and sang at the Vatican, so it was a really awesome experience to have that young.

Bonnie McKee

#87. Whatever was in that document had caused the death of the leader of the Catholic Church. Who'd be next? Calvi shuddered. His life's work was safe-guarding this document. Whatever its purpose or mystery, it was his solemn and sole mission to protect it. Even if it meant giving up his life for it.

Peter J. Tanous

#88. It is an astonishing thing that historians will look back and puzzle over, that in the 21st century, American women were such hunted creatures. Even as Republicans try to wrestle women into chastity belts, the Vatican is trying to muzzle American nuns.

Maureen Dowd

#89. There is a very well-defined procedure that allows the Vatican to raise issues with a particular theologian about something that does not appear in conformity with the Catholic faith. It is not always easy to make this determination.

Godfried Danneels

#90. Venice has always fascinated me. Every country in Europe then was run by kings and the Vatican except Venice, which was basically run by councils. I've always wondered why.

Alan Furst

#91. God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes he uses anonymous people.

Khaled Talib

#92. I'd love to go and visit the Mosque in Mecca again, just for the sheer beauty of it, not for God - much the way a non-Catholic might go to Vatican City because of the beauty of the buildings and the artifacts.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

#93. That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.

Bill Cosby

#94. I am flatly opposed to appointment of an ambassador to the Vatican. Whatever advantages it might have in Rome - and I'm not convinced of these - they would be more than offset by the divisive effect at home.

John F. Kennedy

#95. Well, they've come a long way. To think that he now could access a secret document held in the Vatican archives, via electronic technology.

Peter J. Tanous

#96. One of the fundamental issues with The Vatican is that the world changed on us. That show was conceived and written while Pope Benedict was still in charge of the Vatican, and it was conceived in a world that now would feel very dated.

David Nevins

#97. Like many Vatican pronouncements, the official version of events would bear little resemblance to the truth.

Daniel Silva

#98. What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.

Charlie Sheen

#99. Whether meeting with leaders and parents concerned about drugs in Bonn, Lisbon, or with the Holy Father at the Vatican, or doing a pretty fair flamenco in Madrid, I think Nancy's one of the best ambassadors America's ever had.

Ronald Reagan

#100. Even the most radical Islamic terrorist would not want to see the revered holy city of Medina go up. It would be like losing the Vatican in Rome.

Nelson DeMille