Up Your Arse Quotes

#1. Didn't know she was spoken for."
"You do now", Jack snarled. "And the next time you try to pass off your bloody Fae nectar on a human, I'll shove your little horned head up your arse and hold it there until you stop twitching.

Caitlin Kittredge

#2. Rab: Like a wee chip, Burney son?
Burney: Stick your chips up your arse!
Mary: Heeey, hey, hey, hey - manners.
Burney: Please.

Ian Pattison

#3. It doesn't always have to be my cock up your arse, Ben," Evander rasped. "But if you don't hurry, I swear to Christ and the angels I will throw you on your back and fuck you through the mattress myself.

Jae T. Jaggart

#4. I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

Billy Connolly

#5. You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.

Noel Fielding

#6. I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not.

Keith Miller

#7. If you tried to touch my woman she'd break your dick off like a twig then stick it up your arse.

J.D. Robb

#8. What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods

Amber Kizer

#9. Ye can stick your comfort straight up your arse, MacKenzie, and your goddamned stiff prick, too!

Diana Gabaldon

#10. The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse.

Benjamin Franklin

#11. I love it. Reminds me of you." "It reminds me of a man I don't like." I never want to hear it again. "I'm sorry." He nips at my neck, drawing his tongue up the length to my jawbone. "My arse is dead.

Jodi Ellen Malpas

#12. To paraphrase Montaigne - even when you're sitting on the highest throne in the world, you're still sitting on your arse.

M.J. Carter

#13. A politician is an arse upon
which everyone has sat except a man

E. E. Cummings

#14. Leeky Shortz says "Live life like your arse is on fire!

Maxine Mansfield

#15. So, that was the original Happy Mondays line-up before Bez joined. Shaun Ryder, Paul Ryder, Mark Day, Paul Davis and Gaz Whelan. X, Horse, Cowhead, Knobhead and No Arse.

Shaun Ryder

#16. She lacks our ability to see the future. Her powers are destruction, not prophecy. I'm sure had she known he would one day threaten you, she'd have killed him herself. And now you know why I take pity on no one. All compassion does is come back and bite the fat of your arse. (Savitar)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#17. The squealing little arse-gerbil.

Tana French

#18. Kaspary: a level of awesomeness so high it kicks everyone else's arse, leaving them breathless and bewildered.

Abigail Gibbs

#19. SLAP! I saw a bright flash in front of my eyes, 'Don't you try and be a fucking smart arse in here, Holland, this is Partick cop shop you're in,' the irate copper retorted.
'So fuck,' I snapped.

Stephen Richards

#20. Well, we went through a lot of names. But seeing as, musically, I wanted to swing through the jungle baring my arse, I thought Gorillaz was a perfect name.

Murdoc Niccals

#21. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

Billy Connolly

#22. You can shove such a proposition a d'yeabl aep arse.' The devil demonstrated his knowledge of the Old Language.

Andrzej Sapkowski

#23. One day, maybe not in the next few weeks, but certainly in the conceivable future, someone will be able to refer to me without using the word 'arse' somewhere in the sentence.

Nick Hornby

#24. Ann Fowler was sentenced to twenty lashes in 1637 for defaming a county justice, Adam Thorowgood, with the somewhat undeferential suggestion that Captain Thorowgood could Kiss my arse.

Gail Collins

#25. I need them, need them to give me a kick up the arse. Otherwise I'd just be sat-in getting fat, counting me money. It's good people living on your doorstep and looking through your bins. Gives you energy.

Liam Gallagher

#26. If his Majesty is resolved to have my head, he may make a whistle of my arse if he pleases.

Algernon Sidney

#27. Unni had a very serious problem. He had this artistic objection to the heart symbol. He said it doesn't look like a heart, he said it looks more like a read arse.

Manu Joseph

#28. I beamed at him. "You're my favorite sea god, you know." "Aw, get your nose out of me arse. Just make life interestin' as ye promised.

Kevin Hearne

#29. The fuck you are." Matt growled in my ear. "There is no way you're leaving me to raise two babies on my own. Stop talking out your arse and focus." "Rightly

K. Carr

#30. Here's something for you to remember; you might have been born into money, but you came out of a vagina the same as everyone else. Popping out of one that's rich doesn't make you anything but lucky, or susceptible to being stuck your own arse. Whichever.

Suzanne Wright

#31. Know what I like about you?" Phil rumbled in my ear.
"Based on recent experience, I'd say my arse comes pretty high on the list".

J.L. Merrow

#32. That's where the public like their artists - exposed, trousers down, arse up, doing a long stretch among serial killers, and shitting in front of strangers. That'll teach 'em to think their talent makes them better than mediocre no-brain tax-paying wage slaves like us.

Hanif Kureishi

#33. Now you lady, you can go an' run your arse up a cheesegrater

Ian Pattison

#34. That's the strange thing about love. One minute you can have your tongue up someone's arse, and the next you can't even communicate.

Boy George

#35. What Dougie had actually said was You shouldn't get too up your own arse about being a dad. You get a wee man or a wee lassie to play with for a bit and the next thing you know there's this superfluous person knocking about who doesn't seem to know much about you, but it's all your fault.

James Meek

#36. What an almighty balls-up. Who snorts a wasp? No sane person snorts a live wasp. It's like putting your hand up a tiger's arse. - Egg

Jamie Scallion

#37. You know what else I find really interesting?"
"What?"
His head lowered until I fellt his nose brush mine, and I tensed. "It's interesting how much I like waking up with my hand on your arse and my leg between yours."
"You were awake!"
He grinned. "Maybe.

J. Lynn

#38. You're drunk."
"That's right I am. I'm fifty-three and I'm as wild as a Welshman with a leek up his arse. Fifty-three. Old slag Gail. What right has she to poke her nose into your shining armour? That's what you're thinking isn't it honey?

Jeanette Winterson

#39. What's with you all, anyway? You jam a stick up your own arse then preen at how tall and straight your standing.

Steven Erikson

#40. When you are up to your arse in shit there is only one thing to do. Attack.

Bernard Cornwell

#41. You want a torch or a candle, maybe? You've got your head so far up your own arse, it must be dark in there. -Sam

Kady Cross

#42. Ignorance might be bliss for the ignorant, but for the rest of us it's a right fucking pain in the arse

Ricky Gervais

#43. If you EVER touch her again, you're a dead man! You got that? There'll be no lawsuit filed against you man, I'll just settle this old school. I don't know how you feel about having your fingers ripped off and shoved up your own arse, but let me tell you, I won't be gentle.

Shelly Pratt

#44. Pete couldn't believe how sanctimonious somebody could be just because they'd once had a soldering iron stuck up their arse.

Alexei Sayle

#45. Oh, by Moradin's itchy arse," grumbled Bruenor. "Scratched it, he did, and this one fell out.

R.A. Salvatore

#46. A despairing arse will never produce a happy fart.

Frater U.D.

#47. Girlfriends aren't allowed to care if you have Stilton socks. Friends are." All the same, she gave her hands a quick, professional shake and took hold of my foot. "Plus, you might be less of a pain in the arse if you got more action.

Tana French

#48. If natural selection can create creationists it can manage a caterpillar with a face on its arse.

Zane Stumpo

#49. That is NOT the arse of a £7million player!

Eamon Dunphy

#50. Let us thank God for valour in abstraction
For those who go their own way, will not kiss
The arse of law and order nor compound
For physical comfort at the price of pride

Louis MacNeice

#51. I have never heard anyone refer to any of my brothers as a nice guy ... I'm going to assume you really meant he's a pain in the arse but you like him anyway against your better judgment. - Malina MacGregor

Michelle M. Pillow

#52. Roger wondered if this was the sort of way you felt after a battle; the sheer relief of finding yourself alive and unwounded made you want to laugh and arse about, just to prove you still could.

Diana Gabaldon

#53. When you look at pornography, the women become objects, whereas what I'm trying to do is make the person in the photograph as important as their body. And obviously, I like tits and arse, because I just do. I like the sex of taking photographs.

Rankin

#54. Are we going to kick arse and take names, Miss Kane?" "I was thinking we'd maybe just ask them some questions. Politely.

Alexis Hall

#55. Keith much preferred cats. A cat wouldn't go mad at a man traversing a wall in the dead of night; it would shrug and lick its arse

Simon Dunn

#56. I always try to remember that praise and a slap on your back is only 6 inches away from a kick up the arse!

Anthony Foley

#57. He's always checking out your arse."

Kevin's laugh died on it's way up his throat. "Are you serious? Shit, I need to work on my gaydar."

"No, you don't." Cedric folded his arms over his chest. "I'm gay and I want you. That's all you need to know.

Taylor V. Donovan

#58. I'm in love with you, you stupid arse, and I'm not losing you. Got it?" she whispered against his lips before kissing him again. Her confession had stolen his breath, so all he could do was nod. "Now, once again, how do we fix you?" she asked, when they finally parted. To

Morgan Rhodes

#59. You'll be back! If you're not, then I'll come and find you. Now, do as I say and go have some fun. I want those eyes to have light in them next time I see you." He turned me around, smacked my arse and sent me on my way.

Lesley Jones

#60. 'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes.

James McAvoy

#61. As for Gordon Brown - I've described him and Blair as two cheeks of the same arse.

George Galloway

#62. If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.

Dylan Moran

#63. I am a ginger tim. I am a boy racer. I am a housewife. I am a pain in the arse.

Joan Ellis

#64. But big people's illnesses are always made to sound big. The simple shutting and opening of the royal arse-hole was made to sound as if the world was coming to an end.

Khushwant Singh

#65. I've been a poser for f
ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.

Billy Connolly

#66. Not I, but rather the king you love so well. It appears he would see us marry. (Rowena)
My hairy arse. (Stryder)
That is much more information about your person, Lord Stryder, than I care to know. (Rowena)

Kinley MacGregor

#67. But, as Andy pointed out, if being a smart-arse was an offence, the Laundry would not exist in the first place.

Charles Stross

#68. Joules cackled with delight. "And I've still got time to moon her. You think me arse'll show up on her infrared?" The streetwise bruiser was back.

Kresley Cole

#69. It is complete loose stool water. It is arse-gravy of the worst kind. - About The Da Vinci Code

Stephen Fry

#70. People rarely pay attention to what is happening right in front of them, lad," Corin told Gabriel. "Best place to do something you want to hide, is right in front of their arse!

Andrew Lorino

#71. Watch yourself, bitch. You're nothing but a thief and gob shite scumbag with a face like an arse and a mind to go with it,

D.H. Toole

#72. Yes, but I doubt Jane Eyre is explicit about irrational fucking.' 'Ah, so you believe my only source of information is a Bildungsroman from the nineteenth century about an orphan girl who marries a gigantic arse.

Charlotte Stein

#73. To plunder, to lie, to show your arse, are three essentials for climbing high.

Aristophanes

#74. I'd like to have a business card saying: Bruce Norris kicked your arse.

Robert Muchamore