Top 88 Truth But Funny Quotes
#2. You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
Bob Newhart
#3. We losers don't fear death. For us it's the end of a lifelong losing spell.
Dakota Dawn
#4. Funny how people despise platitudes, when they are usually the truest thing going. A thing has to be pretty true before it gets to be a platitude ...
Katharine Fullerton Gerould
#5. In order for comedy to be funny you have to play the truth of the moment. But if you're not being completely truthful to the basis of the character, its not going to be funny.
Stephen Root
#6. The funny thing is a lot of people assume that my parents are the ones pushing me to make music. The truth is that I'm the one dragging them along on this crazy ride. They'd much rather have a normal life, but it doesn't look like that's in the cards.
Cheyenne Kimball
#7. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
Mark Twain
#8. Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.
Erica Jong
#9. It's a funny thing that to be a product of a fairytale romance. It's another thing to think you might find one yourself. You can read the stories and watch the movies, you can think you know how it all unfolds. But the truth is love is as much fate as it is planning, as a beauty as it is a disaster.
Kiera Cass
#10. Actions defined a man; words were a fart in the wind.
Mario Puzo
#11. Because that's the truth about people with obsessively organised plans: we're not trying to control everything in our lives. We're trying to block everything we can't.
Holly Smale
#12. Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good things come to those who wait.
Jess C. Scott
#13. The truth is, I've never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that's a good thing. You know why? Because I'm not. Wasn't that Richard Pryor? Yes, it was. I know what I am: I'm funny!
Tracy Morgan
#14. And then she said, 'Let's play Truth or Dare' and then you fucked her."
"Wait, you fucked her? In front of the Colonel?" Takumi cried.
"I didn't fuck her."
"Calm down, guys," the Colonel said, throwing up his hands. "It's a euphemism."
"For what?" Takumi asked.
"Kissing.
John Green
#15. I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.
John Hodgman
#16. He was funny and charming, but also kind. It seemed the older she got, the more she appreciated kindness in people.
Susan Mallery
#17. Lvov is a city like New York City in America. New York City, in truth, was designed on the model of Lvov.
Jonathan Safran Foer
#18. She's got this dreamy look going - her everything's-right-with-the-world-why-isn't-it-right-with-you-Tally? face. It's such a carryover from high school that I almost laugh.
Katherine Owen
#19. Truly competent Literary Detectives are as rare as truthful men, Mr. Tweed
you can see her potential as clearly as I can. Frightened of someone stealing your thunder, perhaps?
Jasper Fforde
#20. The truth can be very funny in an awful way, especially as it relates to greed and hipocrisy.
Kurt Vonnegut
#21. So but anyway, being funny is a way of not doing. Sit around and make jokes and be Mr. Funnypants and just make fun of everyone else's attempts to do something... So that's it. I'm going to start doing.
John Green
#22. Considering what a hot, wed dog smells like, dog stew has a surprisingly savory odor To tell the truth, it tastes pretty good, like oxtail. To be perfectly honest, it's delicious. (Anything about this to my golden retriever, and I'll punch your lights out.)
P. J. O'Rourke
#23. Clare's been called a lot of things- smart and funny, driven and talented- but memorable certainly isn't one of them. The most important things about her- the ones she's most proud of- are apparent only once you get to know her.
Jennifer E. Smith
#24. It would actually constitute more than a miracle, he realised. It would take divine intervention plus luck, plus some unknown element of cosmic wizardry.
David Baldacci
#25. The funny thin is, you say it like it's so unusual that you've only done it once. But I bet a whole lot of people go through their lives without ever telling the truth, not really. And they wake up in the same body and the same life every singe morning.
David Levithan
#26. Satisfaction is not the achievement of what we want, but the awareness of what we have.
Abhysheq Shukla
#27. Truth was funny, because it was an insistent thing, maybe as powerful and insistent as some force of nature, the push of water or wind. You could keep it out only so long, but it had its own will and its own needs, and maybe you could keep it at bay with lies, but not for long, not for always.
Deb Caletti
#28. The toddler started making this whine/moan noise while pawing at Tabitha. I know as a woman I'm supposed to have this innate love of babies, but the truth is, they kind of remind me of zombies. They stumble around, arms out, moaning. And if they get a hold of you, they suck the energy out of you.
Cindi Madsen
#29. Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.
Criss Jami
#30. You should tell the truth as often as you can, but in such a way as people don't believe you or think that you're being funny.
Auberon Waugh
#31. MFA in a Box is designed to help you to find the courage to put truth into words and to understand that writing is a life-and-death endeavor - but that nothing about a life-and-death endeavor keeps it from being laugh-out-loud funny.
John Rember
#32. It was incomprehensible to her that anyone should be amused by such a circumstance, but both Gilly and Gideon plainly thought it excessively funny, so she smiled dutifully, realizing the truth of her mama's dictum, that there was never any knowing what stupidities men would find diverting.
Georgette Heyer
#33. All of them are the same type; girls with overprocessed hair and too much makeup and way too much access to Daddy's credit cards. Girls who, if you took away the designer labels, hair dye and cover-up, wouldn't be more than average-looking, but with all that stuff look too plastic to be pretty.
Hannah Harrington
#34. I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something is funny when the person delivering the line doesn't know it's funny or doesn't treat it as a joke. Maybe it comes from a place of truth, or it's a sort of rage against society.
Johnny Depp
#35. It's funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They're usually quite nice comparisons; I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate.
Sloane Crosley
#36. Turgenev was a very serious fellow but he could make me laugh because a truth first encountered can be very funny. When someone else's truth is the same as your truth, and he seems to be saying it just for you, that's great.
Charles Bukowski
#37. Racism is not funny, because it won't solve anything, but making it worst instead, because racism is the reason the world is no longer great.
Werley Nortreus
#38. I realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl ... because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol
Fee Scott
#40. The truth is funny. Honest discovery, observation, and reaction is better than contrived invention.
Del Close
#41. I do not see how my agreeing to marry a scruffy old brute will have the power to keep a fire-breathing dragon locked beneath a mountain. And if I don't agree to marry him, will I truly be fed to the dragon? That is savage, and inhumane, and crazy.
Bethany Wiggins
#42. You're a dick," Ellison said. "Or, is it just that you suck it?"
Aaron knew by the stillness in the room that everyone was awaiting Tony's response.
"Both," Tony agreed lightly. "And if you actually had one you might be in trouble, sailor.
Terra Laurent
#43. Doing actual comedic material is just about the most joyful endeavor ever. That's the truth. The only time it's not funny is when business gets in the way.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
#44. It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time.
Julie Powell
#45. I picked up the umeboshi from my tray and popped it into my mouth. I made a show of savoring the flavor. Truth be known, it was sour enough to twist my mouth as tight as a crab's ass at low tide, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of seeing that.
Hiroshi Sakurazaka
#46. She told me she loved me. She told me a lot of things. Some of those things were true, and some of those may or may not have been true. It's kind of hard to tell, because to be honest, I wasn't listening.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#47. It's not that I can't express myself,
it's that I still feel present when I'm not expressing myself.
Kim Myungsoo
#48. If you play Mark Twain and he's not funny, you are definitely not playing Mark Twain. That was the biggest challenge, in some ways. Writing and performing jokes that can come out of that brilliant delivery system he constructed: the friendly, avuncular truth-teller.
Val Kilmer
#50. The heroines in 'That's What She Said' are flawed, messy, damaged, hilarious and culpable and not really concerned about being acceptable to the audience in any traditional sense, which for me is what makes them all the more gorgeous. And the fearless truth of that is what makes it funny.
Carrie Preston
#51. I love family reunions. Maybe next year we could pass out samurai swords.
Doug Solter
#52. Happiness held is the beginning; happiness shared is the blossom
Abhysheq Shukla
#53. I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That's the truth. I actually think he's very funny. I've paid to see him do his stand-up routine.
Megyn Kelly
#54. I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
Mark Twain
#55. Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction, and there's truth in them, you haven't nailed it. They aren't as funny as they could be, and they don't make a point.
Dan Jenkins
#56. Women were created gullible. It they weren't no babies would be born.
Dakota Dawn
#58. I'd even had business cards made up reading, ABIGAIL COOPER, P.I. with teeny-weeny little letters underneath in parentheses spelling out PSYCHIC INTUITIVE. Most people think I'm trying to be clever. The truth is, I'm a chickenshit.
Victoria Laurie
#59. Whenever I'm running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it.
Mark W. Boyer
#61. But a funny thing happens when you tell a man that you don't want to get married: they don't believe you. They think you're lying to yourself or to them or you're trying to trick them in some way and you end up being made to feel worse for just telling the truth.
Jami Attenberg
#62. Dreams are funny things"..."Things seem so real when they are happening, only to fade instantly when the brain realizes they are mere images, shadows of the truth, but not part of it.
Christine Fonseca
#63. I whispered across the bars to Jackaby as I rose, "Shall I tell them the truth?"
"Have you killed anyone?" he asked, quietly.
"No, of course not!"
"Then I can't imagine why you shouldn't.
William Ritter
#65. Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked a joint. I'll be honest with you. That's the truth.
Stephen Baldwin
#66. On some level in acting, what you're trying to find is truth, because when it's true is when it's also funny.
David Hyde Pierce
#67. It was all fine until the girls started drinking. (Everything is always fine up until that point.)
John Duover
#68. It is an undisputed truth of the modern age that there are now only two kinds of people in the world: people who call and people who text.
Lindsey Kelk
#69. Not everything's funny, Mother."
"No," said Leola, "so I guess when you can laugh,, it's all the sweeter.
Lorna Landvik
#70. I will play Truth or Dare, you sucker, until you can't tell your truth from your dare. -CAROLINE
Alice Clayton
#71. Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary.
Ari Graynor
#72. Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological.
Robert Breault
#74. Yeah, sure. You know I can't stand the sight of blood, right?"
"Said no one ever while dating a vampire," he quipped
"Very clever. Ten points to Gryffindor.
Kristi Cook
#75. I direct with energy. I believe in energy. I think energy is an electric thing in actors. I try to inspire, encourage, and make choices with lots of energy. And truth. I'm big fan of truth and being funny. I like leading 50 people into battle every day.
Matthew Lillard
#76. Of all funny things, truth is the funniest.
Neel Burton
#77. To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error.
Janet Coleman
#79. I wish I could blame my failure on my integrity & refusal to play bullshit games. But the truth is I just play them really badly.
Stephen Schneider
#80. The truth is . . . Well, the truth is the truth, and thus worth telling, but sometimes truths are so complicated that it's exhausting to get them out in the right order." He glanced up at her. That sounded like an evasion if ever she'd heard one. She raised an eyebrow.
Merrie Haskell
#82. Its funny how we can go from good friends for months to strangers for years and best friends for hours. Plastic world, realistic people.
Lik Hock Yap
#83. I don't believe in God, I only believe in Al Pacino, and that's the truth.
Javier Bardem
#84. To tell you the truth. I am a wild and passionate novelist. I am therefore easily given over to telling wild and passionate lies.
Val Edward Simone
#85. There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.
Leonard Barnes
#86. Comedy is not supposed to be funny. Its supposed to tell the truth and then that's funny.
Paula Patton
#87. I find being funny very hard work. I am always asked about it, and I feel guilty saying that, but it's the truth. I love my work, but it ain't easy.
Madeline Kahn
#88. That's what love's all about, Roxanne. You
love someone, you trust them always to tel
you the truth.
Kristen Ashley
