The Spanish Inquisition Quotes

#1. It was a perfectly normal gerbil. It appeared to be living in an exciting construction of cylinders, spheres and treadmills, such as the Spanish Inquisition would have devised if they'd had access to a plastics molding press.

Neil Gaiman

#2. I, ah, I wasn't expecting - " I said idiotically. Brianna gave me a grin to match her father's, eyes bright as stars and damp with happiness. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" "What?" said Jamie blankly.

Diana Gabaldon

#3. That's not what I asked," she said, a noticeable edge in her voice. "I asked why my father shot him."
He sighed. She could have found gainful employment with the Spanish Inquisition, he thought
ruefully; no chance of escape or evasion.

Diana Gabaldon

#4. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!

Michael Palin

#5. Babies: more like the Spanish Inquisition than you think.

Cassandra Clare

#6. Believe me,' [ ... ] 'I would know about it. That's the difference between me and your girlfriend. I am the jealous type. I am the Spanish Inquisition when it comes to being fucked around on. No quarter will be given.

Jonathan Franzen

#7. I bet you don't have to be Spanish to be the Spanish Inquisition," said Adam. "I bet it's like Scottish eggs or American hamburgers. It just has to look Spanish. We've just got to make it look Spanish. Then everyone would know it's the Spanish Inquisition.

Terry Pratchett

#8. I believe that one day the world will judge the witch hunt against homosexuals just as harshly as it judges the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.

Mae West

#9. What is this, the Spanish Inquisition or something?" [Drew Nichols]
"Yeah, and you didn't expect it, did you? [John Bell]

Shawn Goodwin

#10. No one ever expects vaginal arthritis. (Or the Spanish Inquisition).

Jenny Lawson

#11. This was a good example of the fascist policing of public discourse in this country by nominal liberals who have become as unthinkingly wedded to dogma as any junior member of the Spanish Inquisition.

Camille Paglia

#12. Tonight, history was going to be made. And it wasn't the discovery-of-radium, first-man-on-the-moon happy kind of history. It was the Spanish-Inquisition, here-comes-the-Hindenburg bad kind of history.

Eoin Colfer

#13. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again ...

Graham Chapman

#14. Her hair was pulled back so severely, it would have won approval from the Spanish Inquisition as a method of torture.

Will Thomas

#15. It was like a page torn from a history book, from some historical novel about the captivity of babylon or Spanish Inquisition.

Elie Wiesel

#16. Black_Venus: Here it goes:
Curious mosaic
Continental drift
Parabolic metaphor
Elemental rift
Time and transposition
Conscious intermission
Assertion?
Desertion
Black_Venus: That's all I have so far. You finish it.
Me: How about Spanish Inquisition.

Julie Anne Peters

#17. The important question to ask is why these bodies are allowed to exist. If a country such as Spain allowed a repressive body like the Inquisition to exist for four hundred years, it is not because the Inquisition forced itself on the Spanish nation. It is because the Spaniards allowed it to exist.

Cullen Murphy

#18. But, alas, nobody anticipated the United States Department of Homeland Security.

Richard Dawkins

#19. My dear young lady, when you are in love, and jealous, and have been flogged by the Inquisition, there's no knowing what you may do.

Voltaire

#20. In the Middle Ages and beyond, the target was the Court Jew who had the ear of the ruler; during the Inquisition it was the Spanish Jews who thrived after their conversion to Christianity.

Jack Schwartz