The Family Guy Quotes

#1. I have heard nothing from my friends at The Family Guy. Yeah, I heard that they got picked up again and all that good stuff, but I haven't heard anything yet. But, you know, I'm very elusive and hard to contact.

Patrick Warburton

#2. I split time between Nebraska and Florida. I'll come to Nebraska in the summertime and stay through Thanksgiving and then I go back to Florida because I have family in both places. One of the reasons I got the place in Nebraska is I've always wanted to live back in Nebraska.

Larry The Cable Guy

#3. I'm a warrior if you try to hurt my family. And anybody I see getting it in the neck out there, I'm right there to protect them. I'm a big, strong guy who knows what he's doing. I've stopped a lot of things in the street, stopped a lot of people from getting hurt.

Paul Sorvino

#4. The men were all scumbags, but the whole point of the film is to show the development of that. Each guy is going in there to have a good time. By and large, these men are career men, family men, and you just see the deterioration of them.

Taylor Dane

#5. The building of friendship, family, community and love is complicated. We are so isolated in this country, no longer supported by tribes and villages.

Jasmine Guy

#6. There are so many family dinners you can do. I eventually had to go to them and say, 'Look, I don't do spatula work. I don't do scenes with oven mitts. If you're looking for that, you've got the wrong guy. I'm not doing scenes about casseroles. It's not happening.

Rob Lowe

#7. Most people would think if you're the prime news anchor, then you should sort of be this Edward R. Murrow, Clark Kent guy with the family and 2.5 kids - or the perky, cute yet smart Katie Couric.

Don Lemon

#8. Since when do the media care about the disabled? I don't remember a lot of gnashing of teeth when Fox's Family Guy made fun of Sarah Palin's Down syndrome child, Trig. They

Ann Coulter

#9. All my life, I've wanted to write a book inspired by my relationship with my grandfather. Basically, my grandfather was a guy who everybody in the family regarded as disagreeable at best. But I loved him intensely. He was wonderful to me.

Scott Turow

#10. Some people who know me might say, 'He's not a great example of a nice person; he's a malicious, tough and ruthless guy.' But when the day is done, as long as I've held to my values and been true to my family and my God, it won't matter what anyone else thinks.

Dave Checketts

#11. You have to be confident, but there are no easy at bats. There are no lay ups; there is no wide open pass. There is a guy on the mound who is trying to feed his family.

Giancarlo Stanton

#12. I never wanted to be a star, and I don't really want to be famous. I just love the stability of my life. I'm a complete family guy.

Joshua Morrow

#13. I loved my father. Most people did. He did try his best. He did provide for his family. He taught me many things and gave me a work ethic that made me who I am today: a guy who would throw his own father under the bus in a book about parenting.

Jim Gaffigan

#14. I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that 'The Simpsons' is taking jokes from 'Family Guy.' And I can tell you, that ain't the case.

Matt Groening

#15. This is life, the one you get so go and have a ball, because the world don't move, to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, may not be right for some. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have my opening statement..sit ubu sit. Good dog.

Seth MacFarlane

#16. West Young. My West Young. The guy who fought for me when Conner and his friend tried to jump me. The guy who took on a fight to help save my family. The guy who held me while I mourned my own losses. That's West Young. The man I'm falling for.

Katie McGarry

#17. At first I didn't believe in women and unicorns but that was before I knew about the power of chick stuff and before I knew Vageena Hertz.

Peter Griffin

#18. The key to success for any woman who wants to have a really serious career and a family is to marry a guy who is going to take at least half the responsibility for the house and kids - and sometimes more than half.

Gail Collins

#19. If you have this enormous talent, it's got you by the balls, it's a demon. You can't be a family man and a husband and a caring person and be that animal. Dickens wasn't that nice a guy.

Dustin Hoffman

#20. I'm not into those shows like "hey everybody, gather round the TV, let's watch The Simpsons!" I'm not one of those guys: "I gotta get home, man, Family Guy's on! I gotta race to my TV before I miss the episode of Family Guy!" I'm not one of those guys.

Pablo Francisco

#21. The state and the church seldom approve of anything I do. I don't need their approval. I don't aspire to the heterosexual nuclear family model.

Jasmine Guy

#22. Now, see, that's why you want Internet friends. You can find people just exactly like you. Screw your neighbors and your family, too messy ... the trouble is, once you filter out everybody that doesn't agree with you, all that's left is maybe this one retired surfer guy living in Idaho.

Barbara Kingsolver

#23. The BBC is the greatest broadcaster in the world. It's the standard that everyone measures themselves against. If we lose the BBC, it won't be quite as bad as losing the royal family, but an integral part of this country will have gone. But then, I'm an old guy.

Terry Wogan

#24. I'm a happy guy. I like to joke around. I'm irreverent. I love my family; I love my son. I was very happy with and proud of the birth of my son. I grew up a lot after he was born. I'm just an easy and happy guy.

Neymar

#25. I've been really lucky as an inventor. I'm the happiest guy you're ever going to meet. And my dad died before he realized anybody in the family would maybe, hopefully, make something out of themselves.

Woody Norris

#26. I never thought I would be such a family-oriented guy; I didn't think that was part of my makeup. But somebody said that as you get older, you become the person you always should have been, and I feel that's happening to me.

David Bowie

#27. Growing up as a kid my father was British and a soccer player. His idol was a guy that passed the ball a lot, Stanley Matthews. Our family thought if you could be unselfish your teammates would always like you.

Adam Oates

#28. The Royal Family doesn't go out shopping for their uniforms: they've got some guy sewing on all the ornaments in-house. You could say I've got my own in-house team as well.

Theophilus London

#29. I love dark humor that crosses the line and makes you say, 'That's so wrong!' And that's 'Family Guy' to me.

Elena Satine

#30. The family trees of all of us, of whatever origin or trait, must meet and merge into one genetic tree of all humanity by the time they have spread into our ancestries for about 50 generations.

Guy Murchie

#31. I have always been a HUGE Star Wars fan since I was like 5 years old. Most of us in the writers room at Family Guy were big nerds growing up and could recite almost any scene from Star Wars.

Alex Borstein

#32. My father used to always say to me that, you know, if a guy goes out to steal a loaf of bread to feed his family, they'll give him 10 years, but a guy can do white-collar crime and steal the money of thousands and he'll get probation and a slap on the wrist.

Jesse Ventura

#33. I'm a pretty loyal guy with friends and family, I've had the same friends for a long time.

Matthew McConaughey

#34. The competition has improved tremendously. In 2003, I could teach a guy how to play poker in an hour and he could win some money. Today, it would take days. The game has gotten so much tougher. So I will spend my time with my family and play when I can.

Chris Moneymaker

#35. I'm a guy who loves my family, and we're probably only going to have a couple of more babies. I have the rest of my life to play the British Open.

Webb Simpson

#36. There's nothing better than a Nebraska summer so I wanted to live there in the summer time and visit my family and go to as many Nebraska games as I could.

Larry The Cable Guy

#37. I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids, and he never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.

Adam Sandler

#38. I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.

Dave Attell

#39. My favorite movie is 'The Outlaw Josey Wales' with Clint Eastwood, a guy who gets his family killed by the bad guys then goes on a journey of revenge, eventually discovering himself - very existential.

Frank Grillo

#40. Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.

Dana Gould

#41. I go to the pub, hang out with my family - that's pretty much it. I also do a lot of sports when I get the chance. I'm actually a pretty mellow guy.

Mads Mikkelsen

#42. I think that Richard was more of a one-girl-for-the-rest-of-your-life-marry-and-make-a-family kind of guy.

S.A. Tawks

#43. What we've said to the girls is: 'If you guys ever decide that you're going to get a tattoo, then mommy and me will get the exact same tattoo, in the same place.' And we'll go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo.

Barack Obama

#44. Even though I'm a family guy, there is something that feels really beautiful about eliminating all children from flying. So, children have to fly on child-only planes. And the pilots have to be children as well.

Jay R. Ferguson

#45. How many pictures have you torn up because you hate them? What ends up in your scrapbook? The pictures where you look like a good guy and a good family man, and the children look adorable - and they're screaming the next minute. I've never seen a family album of screaming people.

Richard Avedon

#46. Regard your team as a family. Give the same attention to the bottom guy as you do the top guy. You have a responsibility to all of your players.

Pete Newell

#47. I didn't have to do too much "research" or acting to play this guy. (laughs) It is actually very difficult to manage all the time. The Community schedule is crushing and it kills me because I don't get to be with my family as much as I'd like.

Joel McHale

#48. The one-liner of this movie [ The Hollars], you've probably heard before: 'A guy goes home to his family and finds out about himself.

John Krasinski

#49. My mom's whole side of the family, they're all Packers fans. My mom's a Bears fan. My stepdad is a Vikings guy. So that gets ugly. My mom sits upstairs watching the Bears game; he sits in the basement. They can't watch it together. Football's a violent anger in our family dynamic.

Ashton Kutcher

#50. My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.

Tim Heidecker

#51. English is no problem for me because I am actually English. My whole family are English; I was brought up listening to various forms of the English accent.

Guy Pearce

#52. I like the fact that this kind of family has been seen in a movie a million times: teenage kids, the family is a bit strained and they don't have enough money, but in the background the guy used to be a Gene Simmons type.

Gary Cole

#53. 'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing.

Matt Groening

#54. You can draw Family Guy when you're 10 years old. You don't have to get any better than that to become a professional cartoonist. The standards are extremely low.

John Kricfalusi

#55. People think I built the Pack, because I'm the guy who has the welfare of all shapeshifters in mind. They're wrong. Everything I built, I did so that when I mate and have children, nobody can touch my family. ( ... ) I built all this so I can protect you.

Ilona Andrews

#56. The most romantic thing a guy has ever done for me is starting a family. That's as romantic as it gets.

Isla Fisher

#57. I don't really have time to watch too much, but I like 'Family Guy' and 'Entourage.' I'm also obsessed with the YouTube series 'Balls of Steel.' It's hilarious.

Alexander Ludwig

#58. You can not have sex with a guy on a regular basis and not develop deeper feelings for him. It's impossible. Mother Nature didn't build women to be able to do things like that. We were designed to be monogamous and hold the family unit together.

Cat Johnson

#59. I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.

Don Rickles

#60. Philippe-Auguste was an ugly child, with uncombed hair and dirt all over him, and the face of a cretin.

Guy De Maupassant

#61. I'm a Christian first. I'm a family guy second. As much as I like coaching, as much as I like basketball, it's third, fourth, or fifth down the line.

Steve Alford

#62. I'm a big fan of doing 'Triple D.' But I don't want to do it forever, don't get me wrong! Travel away from my family, are you crazy? But do you know what it does for these mom-and-pop restaurant joints? It changes their lives forever. I mean, their businesses will never be the same.

Guy Fieri

#63. That's something the head scarf, in a symbolic way, is meant to do in Arabic culture: it defines your relationship to your husband and the men of your family differently than your relationship to the average guy on the street you've never met.

G. Willow Wilson

#64. Everybody wants to make as much money as possible. Take care of your family. It's not about the money; it's about status. I want to be ranked amongst all the players. I don't want to just have all this money. I want to be that guy.

Lance Stephenson

#65. I play a guy who believes he's a king. He's the most common man in the world; in fact his family, like his suits, are just make-up. It's about dysfunctional people and dysfunctional relationships.

James Caan

#66. Don't let any of 'em in the room 'til my guy gets what he needs. We'll be outta here before they get their gloves on.
Tea Party Teddy's Legacy

Dianne Harman

#67. I had a great tennis career. I have no regrets. But to find peace with yourself, and to finally be with your family - I'm probably the happiest guy in the world.

Bjorn Borg

#68. Guys can look like pigs. The girl always has to be a looker. Look at most TV shows: According To Jim - pig and a looker. Still Standing - pig and a looker. Ralph Kramden [on The Honeymooners] - pig and a looker. Family Guy - pig and a looker. It's a theme.

Alex Borstein

#69. The simple answer is I'd just be a guy trying to feed my family, like everybody else. The complicated answer is, I think I'd be in some sort of military or government world of some sort.

Antoine Fuqua

#70. The best compliment that has ever been given to me was, I was at the airport one day and a guy came in and said, 'Lionel, my wife loves you, the kids love you, my mother-in-law loves you, the family loves you.'

Lionel Richie

#71. He liked to talk about the criminals he had put away, and how a person never knew, and how he had to protect his family, and how he wasn't going to let the other guy make the first move, but really it was just that Bert liked guns. The

Ann Patchett

#72. I asked the first guy, "So what was it that made you want to become a Navy SEAL - chance for adventure? Family tradition? Physical challenge? Desire to see the world?" "Oh no, ma'am. Chicks dig it," he said.

Dana Perino

#73. I loved the logistical reality of a guy who wants to take over the world, yet who has a family too.

Mike Myers

#74. I'm a conservative Republican, small-business guy, married to same gal - love of my life - for 36 years. Strong family man, deacon at my church; I believe in America. I know government is not the answer; individual liberty and personal responsibility is the answer.

Randy Weber

#75. Some people have no respect whether you are with your family or not. That's the hardest part. I was shopping in a grocery store in Seattle looking for stuff for Nicholas. This guy kept following me with his cell phone video on.

Joe Montana

#76. Well, there's this new girl who just moved in on floor three. Her family's re-opening the cafe. I hear she likes to lie, and hit people."
"Oh yeah? Well, there's that strange goth guy, the one who's always lurking around Five C."
"Strangely hot in a mysterious way, though, right?

Victoria Schwab

#77. As far as the girls in my grade, it was always kind of an on-and-off thing. When all this came up, it was kind of hard. My guy friends and my family friends have been so amazing and supportive.

Stacie Orrico

#78. Thomas," the boss said. "How's your father doing?" "He's good, Sal." Always the family questions first. That was Sal Demenci's style. He could be about to whack someone and he'd ask how the guy's sister was doing in school.

Gary Ponzo

#79. I grew up in a big Irish, Catholic family. My dad was a pretty rough guy. So one of my brothers left home when he was 15 and found his way to the gym. It gave me the opportunity to go and spend some time with him and work out in the gym.

Gerry Cooney

#80. Steve Carell is good. I like him. Who else? Here's another depressing thing: animation has kind of taken over, too. You know, 'Family Guy?' I watch that because the guy is good.

Joe Flaherty

#81. Religion and gods and beliefs - for me, it all comes down to your brother. And your brother might be the brother in your family, or it might be the guy next to you in the foxhole - it's about human connections.

Eric Kripke

#82. I would compare that to when I first started with the Montreal Canadiens; it was a big family then, where the guys really stuck together and worked like a unit. But when I came back in '88, it was not like that anymore.

Guy Lafleur

#83. If you got problems like unemployment, Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare and there's a guy that's always been there for you and for your family, then you say 'He's a nice guy. I don't know where he came from or how long he's been here, but Charlie Rangel's the man.' That's what I'm relying on.

Charles B. Rangel

#84. Hey! Guy with scary eyes?" Madison called out. "You know what a moose does when someone insults her family?"
Ivan raised his eyebrows.
"She does this." Madison crouched down and charged Ivan. Her head hit him in the stomach.

Rick Riordan

#85. Gabriel glanced down. "Seriously, Tristan? You drive around with a trunk full of weapons?"
"Of course."
"Why?"
"Because I'm the family bad guy.

Chelsea Fine

#86. Well, I don't play heroes obviously. I never played the guy who gets the girl. It might be interesting to do a part where I was a father in a functional family.

Christopher Walken

#87. My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family.

Seth Meyers

#88. If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. "Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill."

Jim Gaffigan

#89. The players wanted more money, higher salary caps and they didn't have that family relationship we felt with the players. Mentally, the players were more businesslike.

Guy Lafleur