Sorry For The Bad Joke Quotes

#1. You never know when you'll have a bad idea for a worse joke.

Benjamin Walker

#2. I've just confirmed every bad joke ever told about second violin players. Question: How many second violinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: They can't go that high. Gerda

Tess Gerritsen

#3. I have some bad feet. But really, my main fault would probably be my personality. A lot of times, I am not serious enough. I joke around too much sometimes.

Tim Hudson

#4. A cross with yellow roses. What a fucking thing. It was like an electric chair with floral-print cushions, a bad joke.

Anonymous

#5. The next best thing to a very good joke is a very bad one.

Julius Charles Hare

#6. Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes.

Charles Bukowski

#7. I'm a diplomat by nature. I help find the middle ground. I crack a joke and use humour to help resolve potentially vicious situations quickly. It gets things in perspective and helps everyone to see that things aren't as bad as they seem.

Ronnie Wood

#8. We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?

Will Rogers

#9. What 'SNL' taught me that was useful on 'The Watch' was, only put in bad words if they can get a laugh - there was no need for swear words and beeps in places that weren't necessary. Those beeps should only be in there when they mean something and it's important to the joke.

Akiva Schaffer

#10. It's a joke to think that anyone is one thing. We're all such complex creatures. But if I'm going to be a poster child for anything, anger's a gorgeous emotion. It gets a bad rap, but it can make great changes happen.

Alanis Morissette

#11. When bad things happen, I know you want to believe they are a joke, But sometimes life is scary and dark. That is why we must find the light.

Adventure Time

#12. Saw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago - that's not the joke, that's what we called the setup. I saw myself naked, and I said, 'Holy cow, I'm 'The White Man.' I've heard a lot of bad things about you, cracka.

Daniel Tosh

#13. When were you born?"
"Huh?" She scrunched up her nose at the sudden change in topic.
"Your sign?" He insisted.
She thought it must be a joke. Wasn't that a bad pickup line from the '70s?

Joannah Miley

#14. Don't kid yourself. Global warming is no joke. Here's how serious global warming has gotten to be in the United States. In this country global warming is so bad, we are now actually starting to warm up to Barry Bonds.

David Letterman

#15. If you can't laugh at your life, then your life is a punchline in a bad joke.

Andrew Barger