Mamrie Hart Quotes

#1. Don't readjust your contacts. No, that is not the slow hyena from The Lion King. That is my four-pound best friend.

Mamrie Hart

#2. I spent my days spread-eagle in front of a fan, with bright pink calamine lotion slathered all over my undercarriage. If you walked into my room, you'd think I was giving birth to a Pepto-Bismol baby.

Mamrie Hart

#3. Sunsets are the photography equivalent of people telling you what they dreamt.

Mamrie Hart

#4. These days if I ate three bites of a Blizzard, that Blizzard would turn into a tornado of farts.

Mamrie Hart

#5. I distinctly remember being a fifth-grader and lying in bed at three a.m. thinking, I am the only kid awake in the world. The insomnia feeds the anxiety, the anxiety feeds the insomnia, and my night would become a human centipede of sleeplessness.

Mamrie Hart

#6. The waterfall, while scary, would've released us. The panic attack will also release you. Just relax, and don't feel weird about being vocal about your feelings. ... Just breathe, And if possible, drink the nearest thing to you.

Mamrie Hart

#7. Friends should be like a good bra, lifting you up. Bad friends are like sports bras. They can do wonders when you go out dancing or during high-energy times, but one a day-to-day basis they really just smush down some of your greatest assets.

Mamrie Hart

#8. We are always growing up. I'm growing up as I type this. An eighty-seven-year-old woman is still technically growing up. So be as immature as you want. Right now, you are the youngest you you're ever going to be.

Mamrie Hart

#9. (On Panic Attacks) And once I had my first one with Maegan, they crept up about once a month. And without warning. It was worse than getting my period. In fact, I called it my exclamation point.

Mamrie Hart

#10. I like my fruitcake like I like my men. I like them to have tasty nuts, usually cum in a box, and last forever.

Mamrie Hart

#11. I inevitably felt like a fetus with eyeliner in comparison.

Mamrie Hart

#12. That's the thing- with that summer and hard times in general, you've gotta take the salty with the sweet. It's always a balance.

Mamrie Hart