Top 38 Quotes About Turds: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Turds

#1. He tilted the box toward a chipped Pottery Barn blue bowl, and the little blue clumps, like cerulean rat turds, tumbled out, hitting the porcelain with a surprisingly metallic thud. It sounded like pennies dumped into an aluminum trash can.

Eric Spitznagel

#2. The company's stock dropped like seagull turds on a car hood, panties on prom night, celebrity names during red-carpet coverage.

Dennis Vickers

#3. A good friend of ours has three cats in her studio apartment and asked me, "Can you tell that I have cats?" I replied, "No, but I can tell you have a box of turds in your living room.

Jim Gaffigan

#4. Life is not like a box of chocolates unless there's a few turds in the box.

Bill Maher

#5. When you mix raisins and turds, you've still got turds.

Charlie Munger

#6. And - holy shit was this song bad. It was like the singer was stabbing my ear with a dagger made of dried turds.

David Wong

#7. He tolerated his fellow Englishmen, but the Welsh were cabbage-farting dwarves, the Scots were scabby arse-suckers, and the French were shriveled turds.

Bernard Cornwell

#8. Jaud planted his fists on his hips. "You made it, then." "Some turds float," said Rulf. Ankran

Joe Abercrombie

#9. If we mix only a moderate minority share of turds with the raisins each year, probably no one will recognize what will ultimately become a very large collection of turds.

Charlie Munger

#10. [On journalists:] They are as disruptive a menace to the public body: as grating turds in the intestines are to the private body.

Caitlin Thomas

#11. Why not get a job in West Yellow Stone selling buffalo turds? I could make clocks out of them.

Jonathan Evison

#12. Bawdy in thoughts, precise in words,
Ill-natured though a whore,
Her belly is a bag of turds,
And her cunt a common shore.

John Wilmot

#13. I hadn't been there ten minutes before there were three turds on the carpet.

Helen Fielding

#14. Great steaming elephant turds!

Terry Pratchett

#15. Do you have troll turds in your ears?

JENKS

#16. Don't pole-vault over mouse turds.

Wayne Dyer

#17. Naked Mr. America, burning frantic with self bone love, screams out: My asshole confounds the Louvre! I fart ambrosia and shit pure gold turds! My cock spurts soft diamonds in the morning sunlight!

William S. Burroughs

#18. Neferet, you're nuttier than squirrel turds.

P.C. Cast

#19. No more obsessive writing, either, accumulating notebook after notebook like little piles of rabbit turds scattered along a woodland trail.

Stephen King

#20. Having stretched the boundaries some, I'm perfectly content now to work within them. 'Doonesbury' doesn't need to become 'South Park.' You won't ever see any singing turds.

Garry Trudeau

#21. When a writer is swayed with his fame and his fortune, you can float him down the river with the turds.

Charles Bukowski

#22. Talk about solid turds all you want. The molecular integrity of shit is small potatoes.

David Foster Wallace

#23. The only difference between lilies and turds is whatever difference humans have agreed upon; and I don't always agree.

George Carlin

#24. Joey described to her the sleek warm neatness of her turds as they slid from her anus and fell into his open mouth, where, since they were only words, they tasted like excellent dark chocolate.

Jonathan Franzen

#25. The most hopeful thing in the stories, I hope, is wit. I make it up. If I make up a world in which we're ruled by big talking turds, it doesn't mean that we are. So you shouldn't feel depressed ...

George Saunders

#26. Rare as rocking-horse turds, these days, feeling halfway to decent, with barely a sick twinge, and he was damned if he'd waste

Tim Winton

#27. As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.

George Carlin

#28. Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

Bill Hicks

#29. Max walked back to Beeson, sidestepping a slalom path of dog turds leading into the kitchen. He'd narrowly missed standing in a tepee of turds that looked too deliberately arranged to be natural.

Nick Stone