Quotes About Reading This

#1. I look around. You'd have to be out of your fucking mind to write, as Marcus did, that Black History Month is a ploy to lever more entitlement money out of Congress, but the ho-hum nonresponse of the white crowd reading this bit of transparent insanity is, to me, even weirder.

Matt Taibbi

#2. No offense intended to the satanists who might be reading this, but I have found that those who worship the devil tend to be sneaky, more deceitful by far than your average Methodist - and proud of it.

Dean Koontz

#3. Children of the future age
Reading this indignant page
Know that in a former time
Love, sweet love, was thought a crime

William Blake

#4. (I must note that the copy editor for this book, upon reading this section, actually allowed me to use singular they throughout the book. Here's to them in awed gratitude!)

John McWhorter

#5. If you wanted to be average, you would not be reading this book.

Lorii Myers

#6. I've got to be honest, and I'm not just saying this because the majority of you reading this live there, but I love the United Kingdom. I just flat-out love it.

Corey Taylor

#7. Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.

Nora Ephron

#8. Cheryl Cole, if you're reading this, I may not be as prety as you but at least I write my own songs.

Lily Allen

#9. If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God intended you to live.

Shannon L. Alder

#10. Gentlemen living after me! Since you are reading this little letter of mine, I have already departed from you and gone on to learn the secret of death, which remains concealed from your eyes behind seven seals. I am free, while you must carry on living in torment and fear.

Boris Akunin

#11. I learned so much about myself from reading this script and doing this movie [Shelter] because the level of judgment and the lack of humanity I saw in myself was disgusting. I never took into account what a homeless person might have been through.

Paul Bettany

#12. Be happy NOW. Feel good NOW. That's the only thing you have to do. And if that's the only thing you get from reading this book, then you have received the greatest truth of The Secret.

Rhonda Byrne

#13. The first step to building resilience is to take responsibility for who you are and for your life. If you're not willing to do that, stop wasting your time reading this letter. The essence of responsibility is the acceptance of the consequences - good and bad - of your actions.

Eric Greitens

#14. Really, I want you to finish this book feeling like we could become friends, if the timing was right. That's it. Oh, and by the way, you should drink while you're reading this book. If you want to play a drinking game, I suggest you take a shot when you feel like I am abusing commas.

Alida Nugent

#15. If you're reading this ...
Congratulations, you're alive.
If that's not something to smile about,
then I don't know what is.

Chad Sugg

#16. You let your mind rule your reality instead of you ruling your mind."
"Are you reading this stuff out of a Dr. Phil book?

John Corwin

#17. To anyone reading this who isn't already dead, I wish you luck, honestly I do. You just keep swallowing your vitamins. Keep jogging around reservoirs and avoiding second hand cigarette smoke. Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you.

Chuck Palahniuk

#18. You can only waste time relative to some context or goal. While you are reading this book, you are wasting time relative to your goal of getting to the store before you have to pick up your kids. In fact, from some perspective, you are always wasting time.

Anonymous

#19. Reading this chapter is optional but as you've read it you've read it.

Gao Xingjian

#20. Ignoring me, he read the title of the book I kept firmly between our gazes. "Lover awakened. " He nestled his head on my shoulder. "Weren't you reading this book last month? "
"No."
He raised a brow.
"Yes. I can't stop. I've read it twenty-seven times in a row.

Darynda Jones

#21. Not a single person has died of boredom reading this book.

Nicole Fende

#22. I've been reading this little book. It's called the Russian constitution. And it says that the only source of power in Russia is the people. So I don't want to hear those who say we're appealing to the authorities. Who's the power here?

Alexei Navalny

#23. People interested in museums as real educational environments, parents interested in their children's education, and people seeking to find themselves in a positive way could all benefit from reading this book. by Associate Dean Engineering, Michigan State University

Ronald Rosenberg

#24. I first emailed Tao Lin a story I wrote about the experience of losing my virginity sometime in April 2011. He didn't respond until it was later published on Thought Catalog, after which he sent me an email that said something very similar to, "I enjoyed reading this on Thought Catalog. Good job."

Marie Calloway

#25. M glad that you're out there somewhere reading this, eventually reading this, it makes me feel better.

Rainbow Rowell

#26. The fun comes in telling them yourself - something I warmly encourage you to do, you person reading this. Read the stories in this book, then make them your own,

Neil Gaiman

#27. I highly recommend reading this book, and applying the NVC process it teaches. It is a significant first step towards changing our communication and creating a compassionate world.

Arun Manilal Gandhi

#28. Some of you reading this will relate to

Sean Connolly

#29. I've always felt I deserved a wider audience, so thank you for reading this.

Ivana Hruba

#30. Fears have been raised that in their enthusiasm scientists might inadvertently create a black hole or even something called "strange quarks," which could, theoretically, interact with other subatomic particles and propagate uncontrollably. If you are reading this, that hasn't happened. Finding

Bill Bryson

#31. If you don't laugh reading this book I'll eat my pocket protector. Wait, did I just admit I had a pocket protector?

Nicole Fende

#32. If you are feeling low, or trampled, unappreciated, or forgotten ... and you are reading this, realize it is an illusion ... the hope is real ... you are valued ... and what lies ahead ... is brilliance.

Tom Althouse

#33. If you're reading this, then I guess someone, somewhere does go through the rubbish and read every piece of paper that gets balled up and tossed away. So in that case here it is- my name's Sal.

Alex Scarrow

#34. If you're reading this book, it means you're more fortunate than the nearly one billion people in the world who can't read, many of whom will be stuck in a life of poverty.

Anonymous

#35. If you're reading this, then maybe you know you ought to read everything. And maybe you know you ought to read deeply. Because there's witchery in these words and spellwork in the spine.

Traci Chee

#36. There was a naked jock on my bed and a thing with tentacles coming out of my toilet. One of these things did not belong, and if you tell me that it was the naked jock, you shouldn't be reading this story.

Johnny Murdoc

#37. If you are reading this... I'm dead so far probably or still alive who knows?
It's bad day in bad time, I can tell this for sure!

Deyth Banger

#38. We invite you, in reading this book, to cast away your preconceptions and enter, with us, a magical world where all things are connected to you, and you are connected to all things.

Sun Bear

#39. Hurts I have are my fault but I'm sure gonna learn from it and hopefully anyone reading this will too. the lesson: stay aware on a bicycle and look up the road in front of you at all times to make sure you can deal w/what's coming and the condition of the road you're gonna be rolling down!

Mike Watt

#40. If you are reading this, you are still alive, and, therefore, the story is not over. Something else could happen.

Alicia Bay Laurel

#41. If you're reading this ... you've been given the gift to breathe! Use your gift to focus and better your life!

Timothy Pina

#42. (The World isn't anymore how you see it), think on this thought little...
The world is changed just from reading this, isn't it?

Deyth Banger

#43. If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you.

Jesse Andrews

#44. Statistically, if you're reading this sentence, you're an oddball. The average American spends three minutes a day reading a book. At this moment, you and I are engaged in an essentially antiquated interaction. Welcome, fellow Neanderthal!

Dick Meyer

#45. Hello,
I know that now you - father you are reading this
Fuck you, fuck you, how did you decide to suicide fucking bastard!...

Deyth Banger

#46. If you are a young comic reading this and are worried that you have sold out, or may sell out at some point, DO IT! KILL YOURSELF NOW!

Stewart Lee

#47. You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff.

Frank Crane

#48. Congratulations. The fact that you're reading this means you've taken one giant step closer to surviving until your next birthday.

James Patterson

#49. You, reader, are alive today, reading this, because someone once adequately policed your mouth exploring.

Maggie Nelson

#50. Hey, ... my name is DeYtH Banger, (So far thanks for reading this it's pretty interesting coversation... isn't it?).

Deyth Banger

#51. I was reading this story about these people who suffered from brain injuries, and then their behavior changed kind of drastically afterward, and I just said to myself, 'There's no way that that can possibly be true.'

Sam Kean

#52. That's what is so precious in reading this way - you can plumb the depths of another's experience while sitting still with a book in your hands.

Ramona Koval

#53. So: just drinks, minimal effort on his part, and you have travel to him. Ladies, are you getting sexually excited just reading this?!

Aziz Ansari

#54. There are celebrated literary lions who've won Pulitzers and Booker prizes for ideas that Dick would toss aside in an early chapter, but ... oh, what's the use. You evidently already know the score, because you're reading this.

Philip K. Dick

#55. If you're reading this and you think that maybe you could love someone of the same gender (or nongender), all I have to say to you is this: Congratulations! You're perfect and wonderful and more alive than you ever knew. Be proud of who you are because you're already more than enough.

Hannah Hart

#56. Speak Peace sums up decades of healing and peacework. It would be hard to list all the kinds of people who can benefit from reading this book, because it's really any and all of us.

Michael N. Nagler

#57. Here's my unsolicited advice to any aspiring screenwriters who might be reading this: Don't ever agonize about the hordes of other writers who are ostensibly your competition. No one else is capable of doing what you do.

Diablo Cody

#58. These days I have a ton of things to smile about. I feel like an adult again. I hope by reading this book, you or someone you care about will see that there will be things for you to smile about, even small things, as you work to recover from a TBI or another disability.

Amy Rankin

#59. It wasn't even a good note. 'If you are reading this I am probably dead.' What sort of a note is that?

Patrick Rothfuss

#60. There was no mistaking her daughter's handwriting. And the words... "If you're reading this, I'm already dead.

Elizabeth Heiter

#61. Because you are alive and reading this
Anything is Possible

Steven Aitchison

#62. Spend just two hours reading this chapter and if you don't get at least one good idea for your business, contact me and I will give you a refund!1

James F. Cox III

#63. I try and picture you reading this
there is a sense that as I write I try and get nearer to you, connect in my mind with you.

Elise Valmorbida

#64. You are reading this book for two reasons. First, you are a programmer. Second, you want to be a better programmer. Good. We need better programmers.

Robert C. Martin

#65. These are the very questions that some are asking, especially those who are reading this book aloud.

Matthew David Brozik

#66. Brilliant ... Marriage Confidential is both laugh-out-loud funny and gasp-out-loud shocking, and nothing less than a Feminine Mystique for our time. Mark my words, your marriage will change after reading this book.

Debby Applegate

#67. Some bitter boys reading this might accuse me of "friend-zoning," but I'd like to say that even if a girl has misinterpreted a situation that someone else thinks was obvious, she does not owe her male friends anything.

Anna Kendrick

#68. One of the most egregiously stupid books I've ever come across. I would recommend reading this only because it's the epitome of all that is moronic, superficial, contrived, hollow, false and utterly laughable in publishing today.

Kris Saknussemm

#69. I am sure everyone reading this book values their sleep, but I am a sleep enthusiast! My dream is to become one of those grandpas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who just lives in bed. That looked awesome.

Jim Gaffigan

#70. Censors never go after books unless kids already like them. I don't even think they know to go after books until they know that children are interested in reading this book, therefore there must be something in it that's wrong.

Judy Blume

#71. Antonio-
"Just in time, Pete. Five more minutes of reading this and she'd have been in a coma."
Peter-
"Are we such bad company that you'd rather hide out in here reading that old thing?

Kelley Armstrong

#72. If a reviewer is beating me up, I just say, 'Oh well, my writing is not to his or her taste.' And that's as far as it goes. Because I will simultaneously read a review where somebody says, 'Oh my God, I had so much fun reading this book and I learned so much.'

Dan Brown

#73. And I might propose to you soon. I stared at my phone, reading this line again, and again. "Okay," I whispered. So give me a heads-up if you won't say yes, because I'm mildly terrified.

Christina Lauren

#74. Gen-Ys are delusional; Most people are not special - otherwise "special" wouldn't mean anything. Even right now, most of Gen-Ys reading this are thinking, "Good point. But I actually am one of the few special ones" - and this is the problem.

Tim Urban

#75. My next novel will be the third volume in the John Dies at the End series, and in fact may already exist, again depending on when you're reading this.

David Wong

#76. I always say that, to me, it starts with reading. This is something I tell high school kids, college kids, people trying to get into the business, that it's just so much about reading. Read, read, read. So much of everything else falls into place when you just do a ton of reading.

Joe Posnanski

#77. This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It's mostly pink. If you're reading this book every night for months, something is not right.

Mindy Kaling

#78. Ghana will not be built in a day. But it should be built every day and the body that houses the eyes reading this owns the hands that will ensure this.

Nana Awere Damoah

#79. The whys and wherefores didn't need to be said. If you are reading this have ever loved someone, you will understand. Putting it into words is useless. The uninitiated cannot understand the mysterious.

Jose Rizal

#80. By the time you're reading this warning, you've already acted responsibly.

Hugh Howey

#81. If out of reading this book you get just one thing - an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people's point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career. Looking

Dale Carnegie

#82. What thought or message would you put in a fortune cookie?
Stop reading this. Eat the cookie and live your life.

Veronica Roth

#83. You must consider, when reading this treatise, that mental perception, because connected with matter, is subject to conditions similar to those to which physical perception is subject.

Maimonides

#84. (You wouldn't be reading this book if I hadn't convinced my publisher that I was enough of a pseudo-extrovert to promote it.)

Susan Cain

#85. I know you are reading this poem through your failing sight, the thick lens enlarging these letters beyond all meaning yet you read on because even the alphabet is precious.

Adrienne Rich

#86. I guess I should explain how Mars missions work, for any layman who may be reading this.

Andy Weir

#87. It is essential that anyone reading this book know at the outset that the author is apolitical. I was convinced in 1927 that humanity's most fundamental survival problems could never be solved by politics.

R. Buckminster Fuller

#88. By reading this message you are denying its existence and implying consent.

Gary Shteyngart

#89. I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.

Stephen Colbert

#90. How To Read This Book
If you're reading this sentence then you've pretty much got it. Good job. Just keep going the way you are.

Demetri Martin

#91. I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.

Dave Barry

#92. if you're reading this book, then you're also that child reading by flashlight and dreaming of other worlds. Don't be scared of her, that inner Beauty, or her dreams. Let her out. She's you, and she's me, and she's magic. There's

Meagan Spooner

#93. I know you are reading this poem
in a room where too much has happened for you to bear
where the bedclothes lie in stagnant coils on the bed
and the open valise speaks of flight
but you cannot leave yet.

Adrienne Rich

#94. Keep a big glass of cool water close while reading this one. - Margaret Smith

Scarlett Avery

#95. Suddenly the whole imagination of writing and editorial and newspaper and all these presumptions about who am I reading this, and who else other people may be, and all that, it's so grimly brutal!

Robert Creeley

#96. And I apologize to all of you who are the same age as my grandchildren. And many of you reading this are the same age as my grandchildren. They, like you, are being royally shafted and lied to by our Baby Boomer corporations and government.

Kurt Vonnegut

#97. By the time you finish reading this sentence, a Boeing jetliner will take off or land somewhere in the world.

Bret Easton Ellis

#98. Might not hurt you to pick up a book, just as an experiment."
Whatever. I looked up the definition for 'nerd' in the dictionary. Know what it said?"
"I bet you'll tell me."
" 'If you're reading this, you are one.' "
You're a riot.

Brandon Mull

#99. The doctrine of the Second Coming teaches us that we do not and cannot know when the world drama will end. The curtain may be rung down at any moment: say, before you have finished reading this paragraph.

C.S. Lewis

#100. IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF THIS VEHICLE ("THE OBJECT") UNTIL YOU ARE .5 MILES FROM THE SECURITY PERIMETER OF JOHN F. KENNEDY INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. BY READING THIS SIGN YOU HAVE DENIED EXISTENCE OF THE OBJECT AND IMPLIED CONSENT.

Gary Shteyngart