Top 46 Quotes About My Ex Wife
#1. I had one of the best days of my life. I spent the afternoon with my two kids and my ex-wife at Serendipity. Then I came to the theater, and you know, I think I did the play the best I've ever done it.
Gabriel Byrne
#2. My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
Louis C.K.
#3. If you really want to know why atheists resent religion so much, try lying to someone for 10-20 years. If you don't have that kind of time, just ask my ex-wife.
Captain Perverto
#4. I don't know what I want. And, if that's the case, as my ex-wife said, I'd only hurt people.
Haruki Murakami
#5. For me, my films are not like my children. They are like my ex-wife. They gave me so much; I gave them so much; I loved them so much; we part ways, and it's OK, we part ways.
Alfonso Cuaron
#6. Losing is like my ex-wife ... it's a b****, and it takes a bigger man than me to live with it.
Don Frye
#7. My ex-wife did once accuse me of treating my own needs as if they were instructions and everyone else's needs as impediments.
Jill Dawson
#8. I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
Woody Allen
#10. Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife.
David Letterman
#11. My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
Rodney Dangerfield
#12. Every time I see my cat licking its asshole I think about my ex wife. But that's how nostalgia works, right? We only remember the best of the available memories.
Jarod Kintz
#13. I still love my former wife, I won't call her my ex-wife.
Dave Pelzer
#14. It helps to be able to be alone. 'Cuz writing is done alone, unless you collaborate, but I don't do that. Ask my ex-wife.
Dirk Benedict
#15. I just don't like when there's a rumor that says I'm dating someone who is below my standards. But when I got divorced, my ex-wife said I was spending all my time with Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie. I was like, 'Thank you for the big ups!'
Marilyn Manson
#16. My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
Woody Allen
#17. She (my ex-wife) wanted me to stop being Evel Knievel. I am who I am. I'm not going to change. I'll settle down the day they put me in a six-foot pine box.
Evel Knievel
#18. Any time I sit down at my laptop to write and I'm feeling lazy, or that I can't be bothered, or if I'm generally just lacking inspiration, I sit there and remember life with my ex-wife, and the words flow from my fingertips.
Shane K.P. O'Neill
#19. Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing.
Melvin Baylor - Seven Up
Janet Evanovich
#20. My parents, my teachers, my friends, my ex-wife-everybody held up a mirror and I accepted the image that came back. Well, it finally dawned on me that my reflection in others' eyes was the truth once removed.
Richard Moran
#21. I've always been a person who tries to build bridges and not walls. Whether it's my ex-wife and my step-son, or my daughter and my ex, I'm that guy in the middle, and I try to make sure we all stay together.
Chad Coleman
#22. The drink? Yes, I've had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife, my kids, I nearly broke my neck, I was on death row with pneumonia.
Paul Gascoigne
#23. You ask me about my ex-wife? That is not polite. But I will answer. I got another wife now. Much younger, much nicer, much prettier. And so much more intelligent than Benetton.'
Oliviero Toscani
#24. Has anyone else here seen or fought a nightmare?"
Marshal Spence Neumann lifted his head. "Seen one. Swear to God it looked like my ex-wife for a second."
A chuckle rumbled within the group. Someone mumbled, "She was a nightmare.
Erin Kellison
#25. Of course I began to see Nikki, which was strange because I was staring into Danny's eyes, and Danny is a six-foot-three black man who looks nothing like my ex-wife.
Matthew Quick
#26. My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
Bruce Lansky
#27. Grocery shopping was intimidating...the aisles were filled with everything from jumbo to miniature travel-sized rations. Who could I call to ask, "Does the size even matter?" I dare not ask my ex-wife.
Tez Brooks
#28. Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
Bruce Lansky
#29. I saw Farrah Fawcett originally when she and her boyfriend, Lee Majors, came over to my house for a birthday party that I was having for my ex-wife, Leigh Taylor-Young.
Ryan O'Neal
#30. I love my wife to death. I mean my ex-wife.
Stewart Rahr
#31. I love my wife. My ex-wife. Nothing will ever change that." "Okay." "I can't love anyone else.
C.D. Reiss
#32. In the words of Richard Driehaus, "The stock market is like a woman. You observe her. You respond to her. And you respect her." That is not as easy as it sounds. Just ask my ex-wife.
Gary Antonacci
#33. Besides Bob Satterfield, the only ones who ever hurt me were my ex-wives.
Jake LaMotta
#34. When I think of the moment I knew that my marriage to Josiah would end, there were a few moments before I really, really knew. I probably knew, when I saw my ex-husband and his now wife - then colleague - having tea together in his office, that something was amiss.
Isabel Gillies
#35. I had noticed, for example, how all my infatuations dissolved as soon as I really became friends with a man, became sympathetic to his problems, listened to him kvetch about his wife, or ex-wives, his mother, his children. After that I would like him, perhaps even love him - but without passion.
Erica Jong
#36. When my now ex wife said she wanted a separation, I was horrified. So I said, "You want me to wear a condom?!
Jarod Kintz
#37. There is something about my aura or essence, or whatever, that draws the ex-wife characters to me. I don't seek them out, but people tend to think of me for that particular archetype, or whatever you want to call it, and I don't mind it. I think there is a strength to it.
Natalie Zea
#38. I said, "It seems like you have fond feelings towrd your ex-wife. Are you two still close?" "Nah," he said casually. "She thinks I changed my name to motherfucker.
Elizabeth Gilbert
#39. My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez.
James Woods
#40. The embryo of my second novel, Bobby's Diner, came to life because of my husband's ex-wives. Let's just say, they inspired the writing.
Susan Wingate
#41. I do feel free, I have patched things up with my ex-husband to the degree of this real friendship. We spend a lot of time together as a family with our son, no way will we be man and wife again.
Beccy Cole
#42. All my life there's always been an ex-wife or a girlfriend.
Ronnie Wood
#43. My father's very public life as Famous Amos was the opposite of that of his ex-wife, my mother Shirley, who was fighting a very private, solitary battle with mental illness.
Shawn Amos
#45. My wife - an ex journalist and current TV producer - has a rule that she taught me at the start of B3ta. Does the item make you laugh, or does it make you go, 'Oh my God?' If you score on either count, then you have something that is worth sharing.
Rob Manuel
#46. I didn't need one so pissed at his ex-wife he'd make me fall in love with him before apologizing for leading me on. He wanted to hurt women, and nothing froze my creative juices like heartache.
C.D. Reiss
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