Quotes About Funerals

#1. Many punishments sometimes, and in some cases, as much discredit a prince as many funerals a physician.

Ben Jonson

#2. We visited the unlucky in the hospital and went to funerals, always remarking on the tragedy. But every time we stepped too close to it, we saw our own demises. We went with the full knowledge that we would one day die as well.

Donna Augustine

#3. Weddings are quite similar to funerals in that, apart from the main players, when it's all over, people are never quite sure what they should be doing next, which is why they see if there is any wine left.

Terry Pratchett

#4. We may all host ourselves to death, and if we're all dead who will host our funerals?

Amy Poehler

#5. Mamie told me living rooms were once known as death rooms, back when funerals were a home matter. After mortuaries came into fashion, there was no need for keeping bodies on ice at home, and the death room was rechristened the living room.

Sarah Jude

#6. To make sure I learned the etiquette of grieving, Granny took me with her to the many funerals she attended. O Death, where is thy sting? Search me. I grew up looking at so many corpses that I still feel a faint touch of surprise whenever I see people move.

Florence King

#7. These funerals always appear to me the more indecent in a populous city, from the total indifference of the beholders, and the perfect unconcern with which they are beheld.

Karl Philipp Moritz

#8. I never go to funerals. To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time. After that, your memories should be personal.

Hedy Lamarr

#9. People can act so nice, bringing you food and all, but in the end they are nothing but buzzards. Waiting to pick your bones.

Lee Smith

#10. We don't do funerals in my family.

Marie Helvin

#11. The three biggest funerals in Alabama history define the state's contending loyalties, I was told: George Wallace's, Martin Luther King's, and Bear Bryant's.

Paul Theroux

#12. I should like to abolish funerals; the time to mourn a person is at his birth, not his death.

Baron De Montesquieu

#13. No Mourners.
No Funerals.

Leigh Bardugo

#14. Sensei says funerals are not really for the dead. They are for those left behind. "The dead are long gone by the time a funeral is held," he told us. "Who would wait when the doors of Heaven are open? Only the living would be foolish enough to still hang around on earth.

Sandy Fussell

#15. There was something about funerals. It made you see things better. A funeral a day and I'd be rich.

Charles Bukowski

#16. The role of artists is to attend the funerals. They are the pall-bearers of failure, and every wonder they raise high in celebration harks back to a time already dead.

Steven Erikson

#17. If men refuse to be kindled, sparks can only burn themselves out, just as paper images and carriages burn out on the street during funerals.

Lu Xun

#18. Funerals and weddings were commonplace, and nothing could have been so interesting to them as the coming of the end of the world ... unless it had been a first-class circus.

Edward Eggleston

#19. New Orleanians knew how to turn deprivation into an asset; they had the best gallows humor going, they danced at funerals, they insisted on prevailing.

Tom Piazza

#20. After Auschwitz, I no longer cry at funerals.

Charlotte Delbo

#21. I can't admit things; that's why I can't go to funerals and stuff like that. I find it very, very difficult to deal with that kind of reality. I shut myself off totally because it affects me so badly.

Simon Cowell

#22. It's crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go to funerals and people are like 'tell a joke' and 'say one of your lines in a movie.' It's a funeral, man!

Chris Tucker

#23. Sympathy is why when a man is getting mugged, you let him keep his shirt after you take his life. Funerals are respectable affairs, after all.

Bauvard

#24. Old age: I fall asleep during the funerals of my friends.

Mason Cooley

#25. Useless labor, that I feared would stay in my mind, extending into me, into everything. On the occasion of both funerals I made plans ahead of time to visit Pasquale. In those years I did that whenever I could. In prison he had studied a lot, had received his high school diploma, and, recently, a

Elena Ferrante

#26. Elaborate burial customs are a sure sign of decadence.

J.G. Ballard

#27. Nature never quite goes along with us. She is somber at weddings, sunny at funerals, and she frowns on ninety-nine out of a hundred picnics.

Alexander Smith

#28. The test of your worldview is not how you act in the good times. The test of your worldview is how you act at the funeral. Having been through literally hundreds if not thousands of funerals: ... It makes a difference what you believe.

Rick Warren

#29. Then Mount Jerome for the protestants. Funerals all over the world everywhere every minute.
Shovelling them under by the cartload doublequick.
Thousands every hour. Too many in the world.

James Joyce

#30. Cinemascope is not for men, but for snakes and funerals.

Fritz Lang

#31. Another weird thing about funerals: Wear black but kill something as colorful as flowers to decorate.

Harlan Coben

#32. I don't like funerals, and a while ago I just stopped going to them. I think the ceremony is a form of denial, and when my wife died and my daughter, Cady, informed me that she was unaware of any instance where going to somebody's funeral ever brought them back, I just about gave it up.

Craig Johnson

#33. So, my sweet, did it put the fun into funeral?

Johnny Rich

#34. Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions.

Herman Melville

#35. What does homophobia look like when it's stripped bare of fancy costumes like family values and tradition? It looks like that group of strange, angry people who protest at the funerals of U.S. soldiers who've died fighting for our country.

Jane Velez-Mitchell

#36. I've been to livelier funerals," grumbled Herb.

Leslie Meier

#37. You never remember who came to the funeral, but you never forget who didn't.

Christopher Buckley

#38. My present post amounts to about 700 thaler, and when there are rather more funerals than usual, the fees rise in proportion; but when a healthy wind blows, they fall accordingly ...

Johann Sebastian Bach

#39. Dozens of people who'd been boo-hooing their eyeballs out an hour earlier were laughing like overcaffeinated hyenas, stuffing their face with a whole week's worth of SQ-rationed food. Dak wondered whether funerals for old people always ended up being such festive affairs.

James Dashner

#40. Weddings and funerals have so much in common (except that in Ireland funerals are more fun - better food, better drink): at both, our senses are sharpened and we register much more than usual - a striking face or hair-do, the wind's behaviour, a bird singing.

Michael Longley

#41. Who's that?" Yngve said, nodding discreetly in the direction of a woman. She wore a hat with a veil that concealed her face. "No idea," I said. "But all self-respecting funerals have a woman no one recognizes." We laughed. "Well, the danger's over now," Yngve said, and we both laughed again.

Knausgaard, Karl Ove

#42. There's nothing that makes me laugh more than being in the situation where you're not supposed to laugh. Funerals. People crying. Breaking down. Telling you their life. I'm the worst. I'm the worst at that.

Tom Waits

#43. Given the circumstances, I think the rabbi did a very good job. What did you think?"
"It's my policy not to review funerals.

A.M. Homes

#44. LIFE IS LIVE ITS OWN..OTHERS HELP IS NEEDED IN FUNERALS ONLY

Bhagat Singh

#45. I'm the god of funerals. I know every death custom in the world - how to die properly, how to prepare the body and soul for the afterlife. I live for death."
"You must be fun at parties," I said.

Rick Riordan

#46. We're living tragedies, just passing time 'til our funerals.

Robyn Schneider

#47. Nothing is dead: men feign themselves dead, and endure mock funerals and mournful obituaries, and there they stand looking out ofthe window, sound and well, in some new and strange disguise.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

#48. The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.

Adam McKay

#49. Our arrogance
causes us to imagine special value in this temporary collection
of molecules. Why do we perceive more spiritual value
in the sum of our body parts than on any individual cell in
our body? Why don't we hold funerals when skin cells die?

Scott Adams

#50. A lot of nonsense is spoken at funerals, especially when the deceased had not been well liked in life. Many euphemisms are called into play: "vital," "energetic," and (repetitively) "full of life.

G.M. Malliet

#51. In New Orleans the funerals remind us that Life is bigger than any individual life, and it will roll on, and for the short time that your individual life joins the big stream of Life, cut some decent steps, for God's sake.

Tom Piazza

#52. I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death ... I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals.

Emma Thompson

#53. It's not what I'd want for at my funeral. When I die, I just want them to plant me somewhere warm. And then when the pretty women walk over my grave I would grab their ankles, like in that movie.

Neil Gaiman

#54. A Muslim has five duties towards another Muslim; to return a salutation, visit the sick, follow funerals, accept an invitation and say 'God have mercy on you' when one sneezes.

Elijah Muhammad

#55. Sometimes funerals can be good. It reunites you with your cousins you haven't seen in a while.

David Burtka

#56. Symbolic thinking of any kind would signal downfall, in Crake's view. Next they'd be inventing idols, and funerals, and grave goods, and the afterlife, and sin, and Linear B, and kings, and then slavery and war.

Margaret Atwood

#57. Funerals seem less about comforting the souls of these dearly departed than about
comforting the people they leave behind.

Rin Chupeco

#58. God helps everything come to pass. However, he reminds us that nothing comes to stay.

Shannon L. Alder

#59. And it struck Obinze that, a few years ago, they were attending weddings, now it was christenings and soon it would be funerals. They would die. They would all die after trudging through lives in which they were neither happy nor unhappy.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

#60. People feel guilty enough at funerals without having more guilt heaped on. I would prefer a bighearted preacher giving my eulogy, someone inclined to widen heaven's doors. I don't want to leave folks wondering whether I made it.

Philip Gulley

#61. What does long life avail? The best seats at the funerals of friends.

Delmore Schwartz

#62. Some people hate funerals. I find them comforting. They hit the pause button on life and remind us that it has an end. Every eulogy reminds me to deepen my dash, that place on the tombstone between our birth and our death.

Regina Brett

#63. People dress up for funerals. Why not dress up to celebrate that you're alive?

Gay Talese

#64. Funerals are important rituals. They don't just recognize that a life has ended; they recognize that a life was lived.

Aaron Eckhart

#65. Funerals cost so much money, and are likely to be an additional source of stress in this recession - it's sad that we don't have a more humane, less commercialized way to approach burial.

Meghan O'Rourke

#66. I wore a black suit and a white shirt, a black tie and black shoes, all polished and shiny: clothes that normally would make me feel uncomfortable, as if I were in a stolen uniform, or pretending to be an adult. Today they gave me comfort of a kind. I was wearing the right clothes for a hard day.

Neil Gaiman

#67. We stand in black to watch this rite performed, the body in the box, the box in the hole, the dirt on the box.

Johnny Rich

#68. Funerals, I decided, are for the living. - Hazel Grace Lancaster

John Green

#69. Weddings and funerals are when you figure out who your real friends are.

Amy Dickinson

#70. What I'm asking is will watching The Discovery
Channel with my young black boy instead
of the news coverage of the riot funerals riot arrests
riot nothing changes riots be enough to keep him
from harm?

Jennifer Givhan

#71. Philadelphia fans would boo funerals, an Easter egg hunt, a parade of armless war vets and the Liberty Bell.

Bo Belinsky

#72. A tell-all book by David Axelrod, one of President Obama's former strategists, reveals that Obama chose Joe Biden as his VP because of his energy and enthusiasm. You know, the qualities you look for in someone whose main job is traveling to state funerals.

Jimmy Fallon

#73. We don't plan funerals till the body is dead.

Nilesh Rathod

#74. A eugoogoolizer ... one who speaks at funerals ... Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?

Ben Stiller

#75. He became hyperalert at any gathering like this, saw all the tiny details of normal life humming right along. This was when the bombs came and ripped through crowds. At funerals and weddings and religious celebrations.

Hugh Howey

#76. The Irish are often nervous about having the appropriate face for the occasion. They have to be happy at weddings, which is a strain, so they get depressed; they have to be sad at funerals, which is easy, so they get happy.

Peggy Noonan

#77. I don't believe in funerals. I believe in celebrating life, and showing people, while they're alive, how much I care about them. And I don't believe in this business of burial. I'm an organ donor. Whether its my skin or my eyeballs, use whatever bits are intact and put the rest in the garbage.

Carmen Dell'Orefice

#78. I never saw a dollar bill cry at anyone's funeral.

J. Lincoln Fenn

#79. For some reason, notwithstanding the alienation and utter rejection, I consider myself a global citizen. They say misery calls for company and I've always been a man of funerals. The companion of the misfortunate, until they are not!

Asaad Almohammad

#80. Death says a million words that the heart can't pen.

Shannon L. Alder

#81. Funerals are for the living, Jace, not for the dead.

Cassandra Clare

#82. The only two places you stand on receiving lines are funerals and weddings. There was probably something poignant in that fact, but Maya couldn't imagine what it could be. She

Harlan Coben

#83. Fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals, and follows them to the grave

Charles Caleb Colton

#84. Most souls attend their funerals and have some feelings about them, but it's such an individual event. Some souls don't care what happens to their physical bodies. They see the funeral as a ritual for the living so they don't always attend.

Echo Bodine

#85. One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.

David Letterman

#86. I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll ever have, because the emotions run high.

Albert Brooks

#87. This is life. It's not a dress rehearsal. If we don't do this now, we may as well start planning our own funerals.

Alastair Reynolds

#88. I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.

Humphrey Bogart

#89. Funerals often make us want sex - it's one in the eye for death.

Thomas Harris

#90. Funerals, I had decided, were for the living.

John Green

#91. Perhaps it was as well that she had been unconscious for four weeks. She had missed the aftermath, the SO-1 reports, the recriminations, Snood and Tamworth's funerals. She missed everything ... except the blame. It was waiting for her when she awoke ...

Jasper Fforde

#92. Funerals...are for the living.

John Green

#93. I like a bit of color myself, I must say. At my time of life, if you wear nothing but black, people might think you were too mean to change frocks between funerals.

Winifred Holtby

#94. Death was a big part of my life growing up. I went to lots of funerals.

Madonna Ciccone

#95. If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours.

Clarence Day

#96. Funerals are a pagan rite. There's not any doubt about it.

Steve Earle

#97. I went on spouting bullshit Encouragements as Gus's parents, arm in arm, hugged each other and nodded at every word. Funerals, I had decided, are for the living.

John Green

#98. There's no shame," John Barton said quietly. "Funerals are the place for letting it out. They're the last free-for-all in our society. Without them we would all turn to stone from unexpressed emotion.

Scot Gardner

#99. I'll regularly just burst out into laughter at funerals, at the expense of the dead. What's the difference between a dead person and Thom Yorke? One is talented and the other is dead. **** you grandma

Thom Yorke

#100. Why should I be sad? Everyone has to die. If you have a body, it's too late to cry. It's only funerals I can't stand.

Rachel Klein