Top 100 Quotes About Friendship Humor
#1. A few said they'd be horses. Most said they'd be some sort of cat. My friend said she'd like to come back as a porcupine. I don't like crowds, she said.
Brian Andreas
#2. I'd rather be single, happy, and lonely sometimes than married, lonely, and happy sometimes.
Mark Fiore
#3. Human ties are the greatest distorters of reality because they tend to conceal man's worst selfish instincts.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#4. Senses of humor define people, as factions, deeper rooted than religious or political opinions. When carrying out everyday tasks, opinions are rather easy to set aside, but those whom a person shares a sense of humor with are his closest friends. They are always there to make the biggest influence.
Criss Jami
#5. Maybe you should finally give the girl Pop's number, and I don't know, be her friend."
"Just like that."
"It's friendship, Harley, not rocket science.
Amy Cook
#6. You know," he said, "P.S.S. Piss Camp."
"Yeah, I get it," I said, "It's just not funny.
Ripley Patton
#7. But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two.
A.A. Milne
#8. ...True classical dropouts in society are those who avoid difficult challenges and cling to the first opportunity that comes their way. They never test their talents. These latent talents will only help to produce the next cycle of dropouts...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#9. In the world of today, human desires far supersede human needs. Waste, as you can see, is the result of all of those contradictions. That is how we ended up complicating our world.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#10. You know, maybe we don't need enemies."
"Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.
Bill Watterson
#11. Violence can read like poetry. You just have to describe the act as if you're in love with the way your characters bleed.
F.K. Preston
#13. The selfish and self-centered have a hard time being kind, even though you and I know that kindness is a source of relief to the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#15. A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there.
And sometimes, if you're really lucky, they help you dig them back up.
Jenny Lawson
#16. Where are you from? New York?"
"Weird you picked up on that," she said, "I've been gone from there for so long."
Like a couple of decades could dilute that accent.
Cathie Beck
#17. I'm not a size zero, I'll never be a size zero, and the number of fucks I give about that is zero.
Lauren Gallagher
#18. Why do I spend every moment with you thinking about why I did not go in the opposite direction when I had the chance?
Isabella Carter
#19. You have built a human relationship on the foundation of asbestos.
Greg Sestero
#20. ...only the dreamers of a dream are capable of translating their dreams into worthy practical endeavors that are devoid of haunting errors. After all, they are the ones who carefully observed the link between their dreams and reality; they are the ones who worked consciously to blend them into one.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#21. My creativity keeps me from starving. Humanity keeps my life mundane. Loving secures my love for life, but my imagination keeps me sane.
F.K. Preston
#22. Anyone who knew the word slattern was worth cultivating as a friend.
Alan Bradley
#23. I confirmed to the prime minister that we appreciate our friendship.
George W. Bush
#24. Keep your southern fried bullshit to yourself. And know this, Charlie is the sweetest girl I've ever met and if you hurt her, or infect her with some kind of disease, you will die. Slowly.
Eve Dangerfield
#25. My father and he had cemented (the verb is excessive) one of those English friendships which begin by avoiding intimacies and eventually eliminate speech altogether. They used to exchange books and periodicals; they would beat one another at chess, without saying a word.
Jorge Luis Borges
#26. You can't really yell at your boyfriend for stealing your seat and your best friend. You also can't yell at your best friend for stealing your boyfriend. Or you can ... but Hi seemed like a much easier way to start the morning.
Ally Carter
#27. We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting.
Nenia Campbell
#28. ...A legendary leader distinguishes himself as someone who gets ahead of his people from an impasse and futile general consensus, and then finds new grounds that constitute the base from which a unique course of his people's destiny is charted...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#29. The true leaders of our time, the legends of this world or the movers of the movers are the towering figures that are blessed with beautiful minds, receptive ears and directing voices. They are the ones we should emulate in life.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#30. Maybe he does have a choice to make, but everything I feel, everything I know says absoloutely that choice will be you"
"She speaks French and Italian."
"That bitch.
J.D. Robb
#31. Part of being friends with someone is knowing when to speak your mind and when to shut the hell up.
Christine Pope
#32. When we tend to be too hard on those we love, we erode the softness of our souls in the process, taking out the humanity within us that is the nucleus of our goodness, even if our actions are for their own sake.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#33. I loved the feeling of finally falling in love to someone who would love me back.
Kristine Cuevas
#34. You and me-we've whored together. We've fought together.And I still dunna understand how ye always seems to know where the money is hidden and the liquor is stored and the scandals are richest.'
It's a gift.
Christina Dodd
#36. Singers, actors or artists who touch on sorrow are trying to give comfort to aggrieved souls by giving some meaning to their sorrows.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#37. The bonds of friendship dwindle with age, Oliver. But a little blackmail lasts forever.
Stephen Hunt
#38. Man craves joy far more than anything else in life, but there is nothing as madly intoxicating as the feeling of joy that comes from the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#39. I will call bullshit on that so many times that the word bullshit will lose all meaning. -Milo
Cora Carmack
#40. A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.
Scott Dikkers
#41. Perhaps fate has a way of turning things around and making something good out of the action of someone who failed humanity without meaning to.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#42. But he saw a rare determination in Haley's eyes. I can trust Haley's judgement, he told himself, even as he remembered how Haley had eaten that cheddar with the mold growing on it two weeks before.
Cheese and people are not the same.
Kit Alloway
#43. How sick are you? Holy crap. Are you dying or something? Is that why you're going on
a retreat and eating only lettuce?
Maisey Yates
#44. The thing about friends is, you never know when you might need them. It's always best to keep them imprisoned nearby.
Heidi Schulz
#45. He still wasn't looking at me, which meant I was still in trouble. I swear, sometimes this partnership is like being married. We fight all the time and neither one of us is getting married.
John G. Hartness
#46. We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third.
Leslie Knope
#47. Taylor," Nathan said, "Why didn't you take the rest of us?"
"I didn't want to put you in danger," she said.
"Gee, thanks," I said.
"Hey, I brought Jayden, remember? He insisted on bringing you."
"Gee, thanks," Jayden crossed his arms and frowned.
Embee
#48. ...Bad leaders are known to destroy one, more or even all of the foundations of their people's way of life...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#50. I keep dying and hoping you notice me. But you're too busy living.
F.K. Preston
#51. Just don't ask me to deliver any more satyr babies and we'll get along great.
Rick Riordan
#52. It's my new best friend, Claudius Templesmith, and as I expected it, he's inviting us to a feast.
Suzanne Collins
#53. A nationalist will blindly follow his country to his death out of love for it. A patriot will stand up for and even against his country to his death out of love for it.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#55. There was Isola in a mad hat and a purple shawl pinned with a glittering brooch. She was smiling fixedly in the wrong direction and I loved her instantly.
Mary Ann Shaffer
#56. I think preconceived ideas or prejudgments are meant to give us an edge whenever we are dealing with others we don't know or haven't made the effort to understand.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#57. Girls are so much nicer than men (apart from Tom-but homosexual).
Helen Fielding
#58. But you can't stay with people because of guilt. Or because they can drive a speedboat.
Sophie Kinsella
#59. The basis of love that most people share is the intimacy they developed with their partners, the intensity of their attraction, or the similarity of their thought patterns,
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#60. Warren threatened my life if I left you alone," he said.
"Really?" I asked surprised.
He laughed and nodded his head. "Yea. First, I threatened to kill him. Now he's threatened to kill me. I think we've reached the first level of friendship.
Elicia Hyder
#61. Kindness is a source of relief to the soul of the giver, creating a sense of fortitude that is incomprehensible to those who do not know what kindness is all about.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#62. It is better for a realist to bend his will and ethics to accommodate a true friend than it is for him to stick to his principles that may turn the friend into an adversary.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#63. If you don't beleve in yourself, who will?' ~Maybeck
Ridley Pearson
#64. Have any of you wondered what I did with all the cash Pekka Rollins gave us?"
"Guns?" asked Jesper.
"Ships?" queried Inej.
"Bombs?" suggested Wylan.
"Political bribes?" offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. "This is where you tell us how awful we are," she whispered.
Leigh Bardugo
#65. Hi, you've reached Caitlin! I'm either on the other line or I'm purposely ignoring you. Or maybe Mrs. Mitchell confiscated my phone for texting in class again ... Leave a message and if I deem you worthy, or at least hot, I'll call you back. Mwah!
Mari Mancusi
#66. Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.
Richelle Mead
#67. A life that partakes even a little of friendship, love, irony, humor, parenthood, literature, and music, and the chance to take part in battles for the liberation of others cannot be called 'meaningless' ...
Christopher Hitchens
#68. With true love, you can move mountains, make unusual sacrifices, live a life of deprivations and still be happy.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#69. I'm not that bad," he said. "I'm rich, popular. I have a sense of humor. I'm good looking, and not to mention I have a really big -
J.M. Darhower
#70. Not my finest hour," he says, shaking his head.
"You realize you did it for no reason," I say. I tell him about talking to my dad and explain that I was crying because of that.
"That information would have been useful BEFORE I shoved him in the pool.
Heather Hepler
#71. I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.
Mark Twain
#72. Feelings, rationale and values are the top qualities that make a person exceedingly human.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#73. There is nothing to me but you. I know it's pathetic but, oh darling, it's true.
F.K. Preston
#74. How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
A.A. Milne
#75. I can tell you I've crunched the numbers time and time again; it is always more fun to have eight people with one beer than one man with eight beers.
Nick Offerman
#76. Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.
Mindy Kaling
#77. Tyrion let the eunuch help him mount. "Lord Varys," he said from the saddle, "sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in King's Landing and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy."
"How odd. I think quite the same of you.
George R R Martin
#78. Writers are the most tormented of all the different categories of artists that are out there in the world.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#79. Huh! Mankind always comes up with ideas to make up for the follies of the status quo. But what happens if those ideas are inflexible and fail to respond to the changing times. They end up betraying the people who believed in them.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#80. I hate you, I thought, I hate you with your bloody nature-boy airs and your bloody forced-march voyage of bloody discovery. I wondered then if Finn's personality worked on everyone, or whether I had just the the right sort of mentality to fall in step with a self-centered hermit-boy crab murderer.
Meg Rosoff
#81. Do you know what they're called? They're the Shadows That Live, Zuze. They're assassins."
"Like me," said Zuzanna cheerfully.
Laini Taylor
#82. (So I heard the boom of my fathr's rifle when he shot my best friend.) A bullet only costs about two cents, and anybody can afford that.(14)
Sherman Alexie
#83. The greatest happiness is a quiet kind. It's the tender understanding that we're living in a very strange place full of strange creatures. And there's quite a bit of wonder in that.
F.K. Preston
#84. Hold onto your creativity, that idealism that is rooted in some degree of innocence and a firm belief in something finer than the things we already have.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#85. Remember these, Sons! Truth presented with tenderness enriches the soul of man and enhances humanity in the process. A Franco-Cameroonian relation based on truth and nurtured with tenderness will be to the benefit not only of Kamerun and France, but also of mankind as a whole.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#86. Heart and humor and humility, he said will lighten up your heavy load.
Joni Mitchell
#87. You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!
Harry Truman
#88. All that is required of you is an open mind and a little patience.
F.K. Preston
#89. She headed for a wide flat rock on the creek's bank, her posture still demanding 'no trespassing' but no longer 'trespassers will be shot.
Kristen Heitzmann
#90. One very gratifying compliment I sometimes hear is that women want to be my best friend. This endlessly amuses my actual best friend, Jocelyn, because in her estimation I'm 'a good friend, but not that great.
Mindy Kaling
#91. How about "diamonds are a girl's best friends"? Nope. It should be switched around and pointed out, instead, that your best friends are diamonds.
Gina Barreca
#92. Most people live lives that are full of mysteries, lives whose ultimate purpose we may never really understand. But for the sake of serenity, we must believe in life's nobleness.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#93. She should have never agreed to this friendship. Because friendship wasn't the only thing she wanted.
She wanted to get naked with him.
Toni Aleo
#94. True heroes and ideas never fall in the final sense of the word. They can only encounter temporary setbacks in their difficult journey to progress and success,
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#95. There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.
Sylvia Plath
#96. So basically you're just a fucking train wreck?" she joked.
"I prefer conflicted," I corrected.
Chasta Schneider
#97. It's my job as best friend to make sure he's not a serial killer. Or an English major, not sure which one's worse.
Shelly Crane
#98. ...A canonical leader is someone whose exemplary rule might have appeared to be for the alleviation of the pains and miseries of a particular group, but which in reality is for the advancement of humanism...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#99. We need the wisdom to accept the fact that this world abounds with issues we cannot solve; and we need to part ways with those people, ideas and things that are a vexation to the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#100. I despise the rituals of fake friendship. I wish we could just claw each other's eyes out and call it a day; instead we put on huge radiant smiles and spout compliments until our teeth hurt from the saccharine sweetness of it all.
Jody Gehrman
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