Quotes About Dirty Jokes

#1. Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.

Billy Joel

#2. I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.

Sarah Michelle Gellar

#3. I learned lots of dirty jokes very young. There was this girl who told me them. The gang I led went in for shoplifting and pulling girls' knickers down. Other boys' parents hated me.

John Lennon

#4. You are a fucking delight, princess. It's like you know the dirty jokes in my head I'm too scared to make in front of you.

Melanie Harlow

#5. But I love to drink. I can't help it. I mean, I love it Bryson-love the taste, love that buzz you get when you've had a couple, love the smell and feel of the taverns. I miss dirty jokes and the click of pool balls in the background, and that kind of bluish, under lit glow of a bar at night.

Bill Bryson

#6. The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and will die of sexual exertions in the arms of his mistress.

Don DeLillo

#7. I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living.

Thom Yorke

#8. Far from resenting these lessons, the pupil, to please his tutor, once composed a sheaf of poems, and though the verses were very obscene, Perry, who thought them nevertheless hilarious, had had the manuscript leather-bound in a prison shop and its title, Dirty Jokes, stamped in gold.

Truman Capote

#9. Everyone seems to think I'm very ladylike. That I'm very cultured and intelligent. I drink alot of Diet Coke and belch. I've been known to use the F-word. I've told a few dirty jokes. I arm-wrestle.

Helena Bonham Carter

#10. I'm the perfect girl. You read about me in Maxim or whatever. I tell dirty jokes like I'm one of the guys, and I'm sitting there in my panties and bra so you can see I'm a piece of ass in the bargain. Except I'm real, so I come with all kinds of complications.

Garth Ennis

#11. Stay out of the gutter in your conversation. Foul talk defiles the man who speaks it ... Don't swear. Don't profane. Avoid so-called dirty jokes. Stay away from conversation that is sprinkled with foul and filthy words. You will be happier if you do so, and your example will give strength to others.

Gordon B. Hinckley

#12. I went to sexaholics anonymous for six months. For research. I wanted to see the structure of the groups, how they were conducted, and what the atmosphere was like, and also to be able to describe the people as human beings, rather than as the dirty jokes that they are in our culture.

Chuck Palahniuk

#13. You two would make a cute couple, she says as she passes by with a full dough tray in her arms. I don't know why she says it. We aren't doing anything but folding boxes with the other drivers and telling dirty jokes.
But we would.
We would make a cute couple.

A.S. King

#14. The happiest people I know are separated followers of Jesus Christ.
They are not dependent on artificial stimulants. They do not resort to sick, dirty jokes. They do not abuse their bodies to relax their minds.

Billy Graham

#15. The government passed more laws to protect women from dirty jokes than to protect men from death by faulty rafters at a construction site.

Warren Farrell

#16. Mathematics is a collection of cheap tricks and dirty jokes.

Lipman Bers

#17. Jokes in the face of calamity made one feel dirty, guilty; they also dissolved the fear and lessened the weight of uncertainty, of which there was to much to bear.

Elif Shafak

#18. The Scripture warns about evil communications that corrupt good manners. Off-color jokes and dirty stories have no place in the Christian life. Thousands of people are engaging in immorality by the way they talk. Keep your talk pure. Ask God to purify your tongue.

Billy Graham

#19. After a bout of sex,
Sam: And P.S., if I'm going to have to do this Bible-holding business twice a year, I ought to get paid a special stipend.
Nick: I just made a deposit.

Marie Force

#20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Regina Brett

#21. So many gay jokes tonight about (James) Franco. Apparently if you're clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you're super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are going to just fly into your face.

Aziz Ansari

#22. No matter how qualified you are, you won't reach a better life until you imagine it.

Richard Bach

#23. Cheap jokes and dirty minds." Patrick

Leta Blake

#24. The slap of a friend is trusted to help you ... but the kisses of an enemy is nothing but lies

Anonymous

#25. Nate and me ... we aren't built for truces, for good times, for light jokes and giggles. We're meant for the shadows. For the dirty, ugly, secret parts of our souls, the parts we can't hide because we know each other too well.

Julie Johnson

#26. Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke] may not be worth the next guy's laugh.

Penn Jillette

#27. I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late '90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn't do some of the more explicit jokes.

Jim Gaffigan

#28. The Soul is not composed of any materials. It is unity indivisible. Therefore it must be indestructible.

Swami Vivekananda

#29. And spare me the jokes about scoring."
"Dammit, woman, you read my mind," he said. "Is there no filthy wordplay you can't forsee?"
"It's my special magical power. I can read your mind when you're thinking dirty thoughts."
"So, ninety-five percent of the time.

Cassandra Clare

#30. Our doubts are traitors and make us
lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. In other words, a
wish is a good place to start but then you have to get off your butt and make it
happen. You have to pick up a quill and write your own damn story. (Mimi Wallingford)

Suzanne Selfors