Top 48 Quotes About Blowjob
#1. I know a lot about birds and bees, but I don't know very much about the birds and the bees. Everything I do know I had to teach myself on the Internet, because I don't have anyone to ask. For example, I know that you give someone a blowjob by putting your penis in their mouth.
Jonathan Safran Foer
#2. waved a pair of underwear at him. "Grown men do not wear boxers with the Muppets on them. When I'm about to give a blowjob, I don't want to be suddenly confronted with Miss Piggy.
Amy Fecteau
#3. No, there was only one reason I was so fucking distracted that even a halfway decent blowjob was doing nothing for me. And that reason was wrapped up in a gorgeous 6'2 package of hard muscle, a lazy, killer smile and the most intense blue eyes I'd ever seen. That
Sloane Kennedy
#4. By contrast, no one in Alphinland ever demanded a blowjob. But then, no one in Alphinland had a toilet either. Toilets weren't necessary. Why waste time on that kind of routine bodily function when there were giant scorpions invading the castle?
Margaret Atwood
#5. Why has the blowjob had a dual existence for so long, sometimes subterranean and sometimes flaunted, before bursting into plain view as the specifically American sex act?
Christopher Hitchens
#7. Loser gives the winner a blowjob," he said just as I swung.
Sarina Bowen
#8. You were upset. I don't want you feeling forced into anything, he pressed on, horrified at his own words. Mental. Since when did he let chivalry get in the way of a blowjob? Talk about boycotting oneself, jeez.
Elle Aycart
#9. Preciate the wakeup blowjob, baby. Feel free to do that any time the spirit moves you.
Kristen Ashley
#10. Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, and Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Leah-Beth Homer
#11. HE BROKE HIS NOSE GIVING A FAKE BLOWJOB. Holy shit. I love that story with every part of me.
Sarah Silverman
#12. You trying to sweep me off my feet?" Kelly asked, a little breathless.
Nick grinned. "No. But I am going to take you up on that sloppy blowjob you offered."
Kelly cackled as Nick dragged him inside. "Who says romance is dead?
Abigail Roux
#13. If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyway.
Gerard Way
#14. ...Are you always this charming after a morning blowjob or am I just lucky?" (Boyd)
Santino Hassell
#15. Is a blowjob acceptable payment for a tire change or does the headboard need to rock?
Kristen Ashley
#16. Let's get a cup of coffee and maybe a blowjob in the bathroom.
Christina Lauren
#17. Yes, he was still relatively inexperienced, but he did know that long discussions of politically incorrect pejoratives in the middle of a blowjob weren't exactly, well, stimulating.
Marshall Thornton
#18. No man in the history of ever has turned down a blowjob, he gritted.
Amy Lane
#19. That's got to be a ten blowjob movie, at least.
K.C. Burn
#20. Life's just another blowjob. And just because I let you cum in my mouth, doesn't mean I'm going to swallow it! - excerpt from: freefalling
Darlenne Susan Girard
#21. One of these fellows had crawled out from under the porch of the house at 29 Neibolt Street one day and had offered to give Eddie a blowjob for a quarter.
Stephen King
#22. It was an accident?" Nick attempts. "An accident?" Chris huffs out. "An accident? You accidentally gave someone a blowjob?" If Nick never hears the word "blowjob" come out of his dad's mouth again, he'll die a happy man.
Lisa Henry
#23. Please allow me the honour of allowing you to bestow upon me a blowjob.
Daniel Clowes
#24. Stephanie's vaginal teeth scrape against him as she makes love to him. Kevin cringes as she presses her messy head wound against his cheek. He doesn't enjoy the sex. It feels like he's getting a really bad blowjob from a girl with big teeth and a small mouth.
Carlton Mellick III
#25. Your boyfriend's penis is not an awkward string of spaghetti that has to be scooped up and sucked down. The Emperor of China once asked Lao-tzu: How should I rule the kingdom? To which Lao-tzu replied: Rule the kingdom as you would cook a small fish. A really good blowjob is the same.
Chloe Thurlow
#26. Why are you so embarrassed?" he asked playfully. "So you passed out during an attempted blowjob. Who doesn't?
Karina Halle
#27. Cunningham himself said in an interview in Poz that he couldn't help noticing that as soon as he wrote a novel without a blowjob, they gave him the Pulitzer Prize.
Christopher Bram
#28. If there's something wrong, tell me so I can try to put it right. You just gave me an amazing blowjob which should have kept me smiling for days and now you've made me feel like a fucking whore.
Barbara Elsborg
#29. I wrap an arm around his waist. If I'm honest, I wanted this as much as the blowjob - the right to just touch him. To lean on him, skin to skin.
Sarina Bowen
#30. I'm super, it's like my favourite meal and a birthday blowjob from Christina Hendricks in here.
David Louden
#31. To give a man 5 sous because he is poor and has no bread is perfect, but to give him a blowjob because he has no girlfriend is too much of a good thing: you don't have to do that.
Michel Houellebecq
#32. There is nothing more feminine than a blowjob. You naked on your knees. Your guy with his hand resting on the back of your head. A really good blowjob confirms some primal nostalgia. It puts the world in balance.
Chloe Thurlow
#33. He'd more than achieved his goal; as usual Boyd had the ability to completely blow his mind. If insanity had a temporary cure, its name would be Boyd's Blowjob. He could open his own store full of home remedies; it'd give the term 'Head Shop' a whole new meaning.
Santino Hassell
#34. When Life Sucks, Get an awesome blowjob from her.
Himmilicious
#35. Only the French, I thought, could attain orgasm by listening to themselves. It was self-inflicted oral sex. A DIY blowjob.
Stephen Clarke
#37. Has something happened to upset you today?"
"Yeah, I had an argument with a vacuum cleaner hose, it wanted me to it a blowjob, but I refused so it took offence. It claimed I blew everyone else's attachment and it wasn't fair.
Gillibran Brown
#38. Dude, you can't just imply a guy's gonna get a blowjob and then pull back! I mean there's some sort of rule about that... blowjob etiquette or something, isn't there?
Joseph Lance Tonlet
#39. Extra money? I never said no to extra money. Unless it required a blowjob.
Mariana Zapata
#40. I won't change that much," I replied. "Because believe me, when this pasta comes out, I'm gonna suck those carbs down like a blowjob.
N.R. Walker
#41. You swallow that Blowjob like a good girl.
L.A. Casey
#42. In November he'll go hunting with his friends, and that's enough to look forward to ... that, and maybe a big old sloppy-lipstick blowjob from this drunk chick out in his car. Wanting more is just a recipe for heartache.
Dreams are for kids.
Stephen King
#43. That all ended when Uncle Len was caught in the locker room of the corporate fitness center getting a blowjob from a young guy who worked in accounting.
Darien Cox
#44. Ronan and I have always had a fucked up way of going about things. The first time he fucked me, it was next to my dead boyfriend's body. The first blowjob, in a basement he uses to kill people. He isn't at all sweet. But if I wanted sugar, I'd eat a fucking cupcake.
A. Zavarelli
#45. The City went to me in a LANDSLIDE, and you know why? Because all it wants is decent television, a bit of spare change for booze, and a blowjob every Saturday night.
Warren Ellis
#46. The best way to get over one man is to go down on another.
Chloe Thurlow
#47. Don't spit, swallow: there is protein and other good stuff in male semen; it's an acquired taste and, once acquired, totally addictive.
Chloe Thurlow
#48. For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose ... watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh.
Chuck Palahniuk
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