Quotes About Aspirin

#1. Coca-Cola is just a concoction of chemicals; garlic wards off heart disease and cancer; an aspirin a day keeps the doctor away. None of these statements is true, but they contain a germ of truth.

John Emsley

#2. Then she rooted around until she found the bathroom medicine cabinet. It used to contain a bottle of aspirin. Now it contained her scream from the time she was bitten by a llama at a roadside petting zoo in Manitoba.

Ian Tregillis

#3. No pills, not even aspirin, and certainly no supplements ever enter my mouth - everything I need comes from my fish and vegetarian diet, which incorporates many different kinds of fruit and vegetables every week.

David H. Murdock

#4. Peacekeeping works in some situations, but it very often needs other ingredients. Peacekeeping is not the aspirin of international security.

Jean-Marie Guehenno

#5. I don't even take aspirin.

Eric Davis

#6. A novel is a commodity that fulfills a certain need; people need to buy daydreams like they need to buy ice cream or aspirin or gin. They even need to buy a pinch of intellectual catnip now and then to liven up their thoughts ...

John Dos Passos

#7. I have periods now, like normal girls; I too am among the knowing, I too can sit out volleyball games and go to the nurse's for aspirin and waddle along the halls with a pad like a flattened rabbit tail wadded between my legs, sopping with liver-colored blood.

Margaret Atwood

#8. Aspirin? I asked. It came out sounding a lot like ass spoon, but Zayvion seemed fluent in mumbleze.

Devon Monk

#9. One day, while at the drugstore picking up some aspirin for my Mom, dear old Mrs. Burns, our pharmacist, shoved a pack of condoms into my hand with a conspiratorial wink.
"They glow in the dark," she whispered.
This, from a sixty-five year-old granny, I kid you not. Stuff of nightmares.

Ramona Wray

#10. Get away from me, you sick fuck!"
"I'm not the one who kidnapped you, so save it. Either you want the water and aspirin or you can eat shit and die, your choice."
Lyonette groaned. "Maya.

Dot Hutchison

#11. America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

John Barrymore

#12. Were Moses to go up Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd bring down with him would be aspirin and Prozac.

Joseph A. Califano Jr.

#13. him some baby aspirin and let him color while

Stephen King

#14. The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin.

Gary Player

#15. Cinema never saved anyone's life, it is not a medicine that will save anyone's life. It is only an aspirin.

Luc Besson

#16. We know we can prevent heart attacks with aspirin, and with drugs called beta-blockers. We know that certain.

Lange

Shannon Brownlee

#17. There is no such thing as a peace of soul approach to religion. It makes of God a gigantic Bayer Aspirin; take God three times a day and you won't feel any pain.

John Powell

#18. I realize now that taking drugs was like taking an aspirin without having a headache.

Paul McCartney

#19. For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.

P. J. O'Rourke

#20. Diclofenac, cow aspirin, given to cattle as a muscle relaxant, to ease pain and increase the production of milk, works - worked - like nerve gas on white-backed vultures. Each chemically relaxed, milk-producing cow or buffalo that died became poisoned vulture bait.

Arundhati Roy

#21. Willows produce the defensive compound salicylic acid, which works in much the same way. But not on us. Salicylic acid, is a precursor of aspirin, and tea made from willow bark can relieve headaches and bring down fevers. Such defense mechanisms, of course, take time.

Peter Wohlleben

#22. Which would give her an ulcer first? All the aspirin and prescription pain medication she took, or Jack Carlton? Then again, that left only one cause, since he was the reason she needed the drugs to begin with.

Dawn M. Turner

#23. There's an entire generation of male strength and endurance athletes, even recreational lifters, who have never gotten off the ephedrine-caffeine-aspirin stack. The process of getting off stimulants is really horrible.

Timothy Ferriss

#24. But the son whips out a Bayer aspirin, the father rises to his feet, embraces the son, and Technicolor is restored to their lives.

Gail Godwin

#25. The remedy now is two scotches and an aspirin, I think.

Harry Sinden

#26. Friends seem to be like aspirin; we don't really know why they make a sick person feel better, but they do.

Letty Cottin Pogrebin

#27. Do you know why we still have a headache after taking a one-cent aspirin, but why that same headache vanishes when the aspirin costs 50 cents? Do

Dan Ariely

#28. I don't take any of the medications I took when I was younger: antibiotics, antacids, aspirin, asthma inhalers, ulcer medication, allergy shots.

Alicia Silverstone

#29. Aspirin and ibuprofen combat inflammation everywhere but the stomach and bowel; there they create inflammation.

Mary Roach

#30. For a long time, many Republicans thought if they just took two aspirin and laid down, [Donald] Trump would go away.

Mara Liasson

#31. A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat.

Chuck Palahniuk

#32. Being alive hurts. I have found it best not to rush for the aspirin bottle. - A Severed Wasp

Madeleine L'Engle

#33. Who on planet Earth didn't have aspirin in the house?

Darynda Jones

#34. Also want you to take vitamin E twice a day and vitamin C, baby aspirin, and a statin once a day. You

Lisa Genova

#35. This one day her mother gave her
a basket of wine and cake
to take to her grandmother
because she was ill.
Wine and cake?
Where's the aspirin? The penicillin?
Where's the fruit juice?
Peter Rabbit got camomile tea.
But wine and cake it was.

Anne Sexton

#36. THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

Robert Orben

#37. My head is pounding. I wish the mints were aspirin.

Holly Black

#38. Girls are always saying things like, "I'm so unhappy that I'm going to overdose on aspirin," but they'd be awfully surprised if they succeeded. They have no intention of dying. At the first sight of blood, they panic.

Rachel Klein

#39. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn't that costly.

Foster Friess

#40. Pop music is aspirin and the blues are vitamins.

Peter Tork

#41. Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias.

Gerald Durrell

#42. Shoulder-in is the aspirin of horseback riding - it cures everything.

Nuno Oliveira

#43. A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

Groucho Marx

#44. Brain, maybe you should take a brief vacation. Take two aspirin and sit on the bench. Someone just smacked a line drive up the middle of the heart.

Allan Dare Pearce

#45. After the sale of Celtel, I really wanted to give the money back, and I had a number of choices - to go and buy masses of blankets and baby milk or to go into Darfur or Congo. That would have been very nice actually, but it's just like an aspirin: it doesn't deal with the problem.

Mo Ibrahim

#46. Even if medication relieves some of the burden of depression, it may be functioning like aspirin. That is, it takes away some of the symptoms but the root problems persist.

Edward T. Welch

#47. Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.

Dave Attell

#48. What did I really think fifteen years ago? A nonbeliever, I felt guilty in the midst of all those believers. And since it seemed to me that they were in the right, I decided to believe, as you might decide to take an aspirin: It can't hurt and you might get better.

Umberto Eco

#49. People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?

Karl Pilkington

#50. Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive.

Harvey Penick

#51. I wanted to get rid of a certain aspect of my character. I was performing a kind of self-abortion with those aspirin. It worked for a while. Then it stopped; but I had no heart to try again.

Susanna Kaysen

#52. The pill for Insurance Deficit Disorder - aspirin.

Brian Spellman

#53. She is the elephant's eyebrows," Evie whispered appreciatively. "Those jewels! How her neck must ache."
"That's why Bayer makes aspirin," Mabel whispered back, and Evie smiled, knowing that even a socialist wasn't immune to the dazzle of a movie star.

Libba Bray

#54. Take care of your husband and do your "homework." For every headache you have there will be a women out there with an aspirin in her purse.

Jane Jenkins Herlong

#55. Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin.

Bill James

#56. Movie failures are like the common cold. You can stay in bed and take aspirin for six days and recover. Or you can walk around and ignore it for six days and recover.

Gene Tierney

#57. I must be right. Never an aspirin. Never injured a day in my life. The whole country, the whole world, should be doing my exercises. They'd be happier.

Joseph Pilates

#58. George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin.

Jim Frey

#59. Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

Denis Leary

#60. Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.

Noel Coward

#61. The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.

Dean Martin

#62. Honey, these aren't ordinary penis bones." "Not the kind you pick up at Walgreens, with a bottle of aspirin and a scented candle?

Cherie Priest

#63. I would say that it's an awfully overrated aspirin and very similar to the old people's Disneyland.

Don Van Vliet

#64. Take charge of hidden, sneaky sources of chronic inflammation that can trigger illness and disease by wearing comfortable shoes daily, getting an annual flu vaccine, and asking your doctor why you're not on a statin and baby aspirin if you're over the age of forty.

David Agus

#65. I kept this to remind me of you trying to brush away the Villa Rossa from your teeth in the morning, swearing and eating aspirin and cursing harlots. Every time I see that glass I think of you trying to clean your conscience with a toothbrush.

Ernest Hemingway,

#66. We protect aspirin bottles in this country better than we protect guns from accidents by children.

Gloria Estefan

#67. Cars, toys, aspirin, meat, toasters, water - nearly every product sold has passed basic safety regulations well in advance of being marketed and sold. But consumer credit is a kind of buyer-beware, wild west. That is partly the result of history.

Elizabeth Warren

#68. I felt myself falling asleep; my eyes were closing, and then I thought, Maybe I should just kill myself. Suicidal thoughts always sneak up on me like that. But I don't mind them. They're like aspirin. They calm me down.

Jonathan Ames

#69. There are many types of pain. The only one that aspirin won't help is a hurting heart. That's why there is alcohol.

Brian MacLearn

#70. In 1844, Karl Marx said, "Religion is the opiate of the masses." He said this at a time when opium and opium derivatives were the only painkillers. And he said it helped a little. He might as well have said, "Religion is the aspirin of the people."

Kurt Vonnegut

#71. When a regular person gets sick, they take an aspirin. When a writer gets sick, they take notes ...

Chuck Palahniuk

#72. Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

Katt Williams

#73. Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.

Groucho Marx

#74. I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills.

Malcolm Muggeridge

#75. I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease.

Ralph Abernathy

#76. Nancy [Kassebaum] and I worked on a women's health agenda when I first came. Women were not included in the protocols at NIH, the famous study, 'take an aspirin a day, keep the doctor, you know, a heart attack away.' It was done on ten thousand male medical students.

Barbara Mikulski

#77. Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Joan Rivers

#78. Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures.

M.F.K. Fisher

#79. There is little that can be said about most economic goods. A toothbrush does little but clean teeth. Aspirin does little but dull pain. Alcohol is important mostly for making people more or less drunk ... There being so little to be said, much is to be invented.

John Kenneth Galbraith

#80. Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

Gore Vidal

#81. We are not bearing our crosses every time we have a headache; an aspirin tablet will take care of that. What is meant is the trouble we would not have if we were not Christians.

Vance Havner

#82. We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin.

Fiorello H. La Guardia

#83. My work is a matter of fundamental sounds (no joke intended) made as fully as possible, and I accept responsibility for nothing else. If people want to have headaches among the overtones, let them. And provide their own aspirin.

Samuel Beckett

#84. You read the pragmatists and all you know is: not Descartes, not Kant, not Plato. It's like aspirin. You can't use aspirin to give yourself power, you take it to get rid of headaches. In that way, pragmatism is a philosophical therapy. It helps you stop asking the unhelpful questions.

Richard Rorty

#85. We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin.

Vangelis

#86. I took the two most expensive aspirins in history.

Wally Pipp

#87. The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.

Bob Hope

#88. There she was, the mother of me, like a lit plinth,
Heavenly, though I was reared to find this kind
Of visitation impractical; she was an unbearable detail
Of the supreme celestial map,
Of which I had been taught that there was
No such thing.

Lucie Brock-Broido

#89. Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me giggle.

Truman Capote

#90. After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

Fred Allen