Top 42 One Legged Quotes
#1. Oh, sweetie, you are a jackass. I love you, but you are dumber than a one legged duck in an ass kicking contest when pigs fly.
Tara Sivec
#2. Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free? If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me Have you ever seen a one-legged dog making his way down the street? If you've ever seen a one-legged dog then you've seen me.
Bruce Springsteen
#3. Busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Stephen King
#4. One legged veterans will greet the dawn, and they're whistling marches as they mow the lawn, and the gargoyles on sit and grieve.
Phil Ochs
#5. Turn yourself over to Aksel, and I might let her go. (Arast)
Yeah, right. And I'm a one-legged dung dealer. (Nykyrian)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#6. You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Rowan Atkinson
#7. The one-legged creature is envious of the millipede; the millipede is envious of the snake; the snake is envious of the wind; the wind is envious of the eye; the eye is envious of the heart.
Zhuangzi
#8. I have a one-legged friend and I asked her what they said to John at the gate. She said she reckoned they said, "The lame shall enter first." This may be because the lame will be able to knock everybody else aside with their crutches.
Flannery O'Connor
#9. What were you thinking?"
"Not much, clearly."I hear the exasperation in Kacey's voice.
"I don't know about you, Livie ... Sometimes you're as graceful as a one-legged flamingo in a pit of quicksand.
K.A. Tucker
#11. With speed skating, it's like doing one-legged squats over and over again, with that one leg absorbing more than 80 percent of your weight. It takes an enormous amount of strength, and you're in such a weird position.
Apolo Ohno
#12. Midnight was closing in, the one-legged woman was grievously burned, and the Mumbai police were coming for Abdul and his father.
Katherine Boo
#13. I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest; wish
Stephen King
#14. I mumble my vows, Shad mutters his, and I wonder what would happen if I lunged for the door like a wild animal seeking its freedom. I could probably outrun his one-legged friend, but Shad has something of the greyhound about him.
Janet Mullany
#15. They got me busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.
Dolly Parton
#16. Because I am a one-legged, black, short, woman I had to spend every day of my life pushing against what society told me I should be. I had to sell my value every day of my life. Confidence is what enables us to push back on reality. Once you get good at that, you can use it to live your joy.
Bonnie St. John
#17. Owned a unicycle with one pedal and a missing seat. It was stolen by a one-legged man, with no butt, and an incredible sense of balance.
David Hammons
#18. But, oh, sweet holy Lord, I would ride that one-legged pony all the way around the corral.
John Green
#19. Entrance and exit wounds are silvered clean, The track aches only when the rain reminds. The one-legged man forgets his leg of wood, The one-armed man his jointed wooden arm. The blinded man sees with his ears and hands As much or more than once with both his eyes.
Robert Graves
#20. Well, I'm more lopsided than a one-legged badger.
Erin Hunter
#21. Were there always to be more damage, damage would be an aspect of perfection. We would all be angels, one-legged and faceless, seething with endless, hopeless praise. Bless Adonai for making us better than angels. Blessed is Adonai for making us human.
Adam Levin
#22. Be warned - Hammond does tend to be a bit optimistic about these kind of things. If the army were made up of one-legged mutes, he would praise their balance and their listening skills.
Brandon Sanderson
#24. I'm more lopsided than a one legged badger!" Graypaw stopped his careful stalking to wander comically across the clearing "I will have to settle for hunting stupid mice I shall just wander up to them, and sit on them until they surrender!
Erin Hunter
#25. One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.
Josh Billings
#26. Hate Sits on a Stool
Hate sits on a 3-legged stool of
suspicion, jealousy and fear.
Kick away any one of these legs
and the hater will fall flat on his ass.
Beryl Dov
#27. An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and a mouth full of paper.
One of the firefighters look at the other. Not again.
Tim Dorsey
#28. Each of us has been designed for one of two immortal functions, as either a storyteller or as a cross-legged listener to tales of wonder, love, and daring. When we cease to tell or listen, then we no longer exist as a people.
Bryce Courtenay
#29. Rushing toward her are all the letters of the alphabet. Each one moves in its own way, X cartwheeling over and over, C hopping forward, M and N marching stiff-legged and resolute.
Myla Goldberg
#30. We're beings towards death, we're featherless two-legged linguistically conscious creatures born between urine and feces whose bodies will one day be the culinary delight of terrestrial worms. That's us.
Cornel West
#31. The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with those three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots.
Robert A. Heinlein
#32. Well, legends are many-legged beasties, aye? But they generally have at least one foot on the truth.
Diana Gabaldon
#33. And Tralfamadorians don't see human beings as two-legged creatures, either. They see them as great millipedes - with babies' legs on one nds and old people's legs at the other
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
#34. I should get a dog. I would get a rescue dog. I like mutts; I don't care. I would probably get a three-legged dog no one else would want.
Simon Cowell
#35. One must feel sorry for those who have strange tastes, but never insult them. Their wrong is Nature's too; they are no more responsible for having come into the world with tendencies unlike ours than are we for being born bandy-legged or well-proportioned.
Marquis De Sade
#36. Tralfamadorians don't see human beings as two-legged creatures, either. They see them as great millepedes - with babies' legs at one end and old people's legs at the other,
Kurt Vonnegut
#37. We're beings toward death, we're ... two-legged, linguistically-conscious creatures born between urine and feces whose body will one day be the culinary delight of terrestrial worms.
Cornel West
#38. I'm hoping one day to open my own shelter. I would be the person with the three-legged dog. I just love animals more than people; I really do.
Kaley Cuoco
#39. Jesus says in effect, 'Do you want to know what it feels like to be God? When one of those two-legged humans pays attention to me, it feels like I just reclaimed my most valuable possession, which I had given up for lost.' To God himself, it feels like the discovery of a lifetime.
Philip Yancey
#40. Sometimes it seemed like the truth was a bandy-legged soul who dashed from one side of the world to the other and I could never find him.
James McBride
#41. Who wouldn't want to watch an averagely attractive guy kick a three legged, one eyed dog in the face as it urinates all over itself? The correct answer is no one.
David Bowick
#42. but Phil looked up and gave them a weak smile. "Well," he said, "this isn't too bad. My left leg is broken, but at least I'm right-legged. That's pretty fortunate." "Gee," one of the other employees murmured. "I thought he'd say something more along the lines of 'Aaaaah! My leg! My leg!
Lemony Snicket
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