My Lawn Quotes

#1. At the risk of sounding like that old guy in 'Gran Torino' telling those 'young punks' to 'get off my lawn,' it's gotten to the point that whenever I hear somebody talking about Twitter or twittering or tweeting, it just makes my little tummy want to hurl.

John Ridley

#2. Thou shalt not steal unless thou hast a majority vote in Congress ... I'm healthy; subsidized prescription drugs won't do me much good. I'd be willing to forego my prescription drugs if Congress would force some young American to mow my lawn.

Walter E. Williams

#3. If trees had love, instead of leaves, I'd gladly rake you into a pile on my lawn and fall into you.

Jarod Kintz

#4. I'm that grumpy old guy yelling at all those pesky little Grizzly Bear fans to get offa my lawn.

Chuck Eddy

#5. If I were just your average 23-year-old girl, and I called the police to say that there were strange men sleeping on my lawn and following me to Starbucks, they would leap into action. But because I am a famous person, well, sorry, ma'am, there's nothing we can do. It makes no sense.

Jennifer Lawrence

#6. You still carrying an arsenal in the trunk of your car?"

"Why, you need something?"

"No, but if your car is hit by lightning I'll know where my lawn went.

John Connolly

#7. No need to kill everyone. They know not to let their Chihuahuas piss on my lawn.

Richard Kadrey

#8. I don't want to sound like some grumpy old man telling you to get off my lawn.

Michael Wilbon

#9. If I ever wanted a gnome, I guess Id just stand out on my lawn for a while.

Johnny Christ

#10. [ ... ]Are both of you ... ?"
"Manscaped?" Dante smiled. "I'm fucking Italian; I been mowing my lawn since I was thirteen.

Damon Suede

#11. Right after we invaded Iraq, I put a sign on my lawn that said "War is not the answer." That sign was either defaced, ripped up, or stolen every week. I had to replace that sign twelve times.

Paul Haggis

#12. Could you please put this
could you all put these
could you get dressed, please?"
The woman only bestowed a serene smile on me. "We are as the Goddess requires."
"The Goddess requires you to be naked on my lawn?

Kelley Armstrong

#13. Don't take away my fun." She smiled and leaned my way. "Every Friday, him in my yard, sweatin' and mowin' my lawn. Even old women need a thrill." She settled back and closed her eyes. "That right there's gonna be mine." If

Kristen Ashley

#14. If we happened to be in rehearsal downstairs in my room and a neighbor padded across the lawn to rap gently on the window and ask us to please be more quiet, Natalie might simply lift up her skirt and mash her vagina against the window while extending her middle finger.

Augusten Burroughs

#15. I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again.

Britt Ekland

#16. So I had a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbour's lawn, and the consoling proximity of millionaires

F Scott Fitzgerald

#17. My bodyguard was mowing the lawn in a pink bikini when the body fell from the sky.

Charlaine Harris

#18. two blocks down from my house? What the hell is going on?" "Nothing good," Marino says. I Google Sonny's Lawn Care. There's no such

Patricia Cornwell

#19. The thing I love is that my home life hasn't changed. I still help out with the garbage. I still help out with the lawn.

Taylor Lautner

#20. Not long after my mom died, my dad pretty much kicked me out of the house. He never said, "Get out of my house," but instead, I came home one night to find all my clothes scattered all over our front lawn.

Brenda Perlin

#21. I haven't tweeted once in my life, but I'm sick of hearing about it already. What once may have been the cool way of letting a hundred people know that you're about to go mow your lawn now has the feel of a used-to-be-fresh means of communicating. So yesterday, like two-way pagers. And AOL.

John Ridley

#22. Barney spotted our neighbor's lawn, where he promptly took care of his business. There I was, the former president of the United States, with a plastic bag on my hand, picking up that which I had been dodging for the past eight years.

George W. Bush

#23. My father was a preacher in Maryland and we had crab feasts - with corn on the cob, but no beer, being Methodist - outside on the church lawn.

Tori Amos

#24. What about damp? What about flooding? Wouldn't it make sense to have a little lawn or garden as a sort of buffer zone between the house and the water? But then it wouldn't be Venice, said Connie's voice in my head. Then it would be Staines.

David Nicholls

#25. I must admit that outside the university, it is difficult to be a pure mathematician. No one in my family understands what I do. My neighbors wonder why I spend all my time in my study scribbling with pencil on a yellow pad of paper instead of going outside to mow the lawn.

Isadore Singer

#26. I absolutely hate mowing the lawn. When I hear the mowers starting, I want to kill myself: it's the sound of death approaching. Hoovering's OK, but I never in my life wanted to have a lawn and certainly never wanted to mow one.

Peter Capaldi

#27. There were neighbors that I played with and did all the things that children do. I did mow the lawn. I did help with various things that needed to be done to occupy my time.

Paul Smith

#28. I use a pick in my hair without force.
You use a lawn mower-you got peat moss.

Extra P

#29. The tranquility of my room partakes too much of Forest Lawn.

Mason Cooley

#30. I think I've always been drawn to the second person. When I was growing up and playing with my friends, the usual way we interacted with imaginary worlds was as characters: a bench was 'your' boat, leaves on a lawn were the fins of sharks out to get 'you.'

Mohsin Hamid

#31. I mow my own lawn.

Ron Reagan

#32. I wish I enjoyed the World Cup, if only for some fleeting sense of common unity with the rest of humankind. But I simply don't get it. A huge number of my fellow citizens tune in and witness a glorious contest of ecstatic highs and heartbreaking lows. I see twenty-two millionaires fucking up a lawn.

Charlie Brooker

#33. I enjoy painting, cutting the lawn and working in the garden when I have time. That's therapy for me. I enjoy working with my hands.

Billy Williams

#34. I had a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbor's lawn, and the consoling proximity of millionaires
all for eighty dollars a month.

F Scott Fitzgerald

#35. I feel like my life experience is that of an outsider. Let me explain: my parents are from Panama, and they moved to the United States the year after I was born. They moved into an all-white neighborhood, where the previous black family had a cross burned on their lawn.

J. August Richards

#36. Beer bottles, whiskey bottles, brown glass, green. They fell to the lawn and I'd feel serene. Adam was king to my stilted queen.

Kate Bernheimer

#37. My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.

Joan Rivers

#38. It's hard and sometimes it's scary. It still amazes my mother. I went home for Christmas one year and there were fans all over the front lawn, hoping to see me.

Luke Perry

#39. My husband and I have, in some ways, a non-traditional relationship - especially when it comes to domestic duties. He does most of the cooking, dishes, and laundry, while I do most of the yard work. I love to mow the lawn! And I take great satisfaction in planting and pruning.

Therese Fowler

#40. I put a gentle hand to my chest as I surveyed the situation. The turquoise
blue swimming pool some distance behind the lawn was no longer behind that lawn, but within my thorax, and my organs swam in it like excrements in the blue sea water in Nice.

Vladimir Nabokov

#41. When I see a dictionary on my desk I feel like I'm looking at some strange dog leaving a twisty piece of poop on our lawn out back.

Haruki Murakami

#42. I'm a big 'Goosebumps' fan - 'Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes.' My favorites are the pick-your-own-death ones.

Tyler, The Creator

#43. I don't remember my parents together, ever: my father was much older, and really only interested in collecting magazines and bathroom suites; we were the only family in the area to have a bathroom suite on the lawn.

Paula Yates

#44. During that time, The Mouth came by to pray with us, and my dad began to spend his evenings sitting in the yellow lawn chair and staring at the highway, or down in the basement with his isotope material, finding comfort in the stability that's created from decay.

Miriam Toews

#45. Oh my God!" a woman whispered loudly. "They're gonna do it on the front lawn!

R.L. Matthewson

#46. My eyes never got lower than your nipples. If it wasn't for the fact that Morelli would shoot me I would have taken you on his front lawn.

Janet Evanovich

#47. I grew up at my grandmother's house, and she had a beautiful garden. I used to hate mowing the lawn and weeding, which is what you do when you're a kid. I loathe gardening, but I love gardens, and I have two beautiful gardens.

Elton John

#48. I wish I'd not taken off all my clothes in my first television series, 'The Camomile Lawn.'

Jennifer Ehle

#49. Scotland is so gorgeous that every time I'm there, I start to dream of living there. I want to buy one of those whitewashed cottages with the thatch roofs and gaze out at the sea and read my books. I want to be away from the Internet and the news and lawn mowers at 7 A.M. on Sunday mornings.

Julia London

#50. I'm on top of my green like a lawn chair

Lil' Wayne

#51. I have to say I've worked very few days of my life. I used to have to cut the lawn, and when I was in junior high school, I worked at a concession stand at a stadium.

Steve Nash

#52. My mother had soft hands that smelled like soap, and a smile like the first bit of sunlight creeping over a trimmed lawn.

Lauren Oliver

#53. One unexpected bonus of motherhood is the visual beauty. I am enchanted by the sights of my children, the tones of skin, the clear eyes, the grace, the curve of a hand and cheek, to see them racing across the back lawn in a certain slant of light.

Jaroldeen Edwards

#54. My Love wakes in a puddle of sunlight.
Her hands asleep beside her.
Her hair draped on the lawn
like a mantle of cloth.
I give her my troth, for our love is whole
I sing her beauty in my soul

Roman Payne

#55. When I was four or five years old, my grandfather showed me how to build things, paint, saw. Through years of fixing bikes, repairing lawn mowers, I learned how things work.

Tony Fadell

#56. I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

Ryan Lilly

#57. I looked at her. my lovely, tall mother with her pretty coil of hair and her hard, bitter mouth. Her veins were never open. Her heart never leapt out to flop helplessly on the lawn. She never melted into puddles. She was normal. Always. At any cost.

E. Lockhart

#58. Myself and my two younger sisters and brother were paid for any chores, whether it was washing pop's car, sweeping the lawn or picking mangoes.

Marie Helvin

#59. I don't force it. If you don't have an idea and you don't hear anything going over and over in your head, don't sit down and try to write a song. You know, go mow the lawn ... My songs speak for themselves.

Neil Young

#60. When the grass was closely mown,
Walking on the lawn alone,
In the turf a hole I found,
And hid a soldier underground.
Spring and daisies came apace;
Grasses hide my hiding place;
Grasses run like a green sea
O'er the lawn up to my knee.

Robert Louis Stevenson

#61. When I was a kid, I was always around boys. I was always trying to keep up with boys - skateboarding and snowboarding. If my brother was mowing the lawn, I had to mow the lawn. If my brother was using a hammer, I needed to use a hammer. I've always been a little bit of a feminist.

Daria Werbowy

#62. Surveys often show people would prefer a detached house with a lawn and driveway to an apartment. I understand this. It's not my place to presume to tell people where they can live. But perhaps that dream will simply not be possible in the future.

Norman Foster

#63. My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Tim Allen

#64. He didn't want to admit that his daughter was something more now. I raised my hand guiding one of Nona's lawn ornaments across the lawn. Making it dance.
"Hope," Dad warned from inside.
I dropped it on the lawn. "Such a party pooper.

Holly Hood

#65. Golf isn't just about hitting a lot of drivers. I grew up playing on my front lawn, chipping and putting into soup cans, out of the ivy and over rose bushes and hedges - the little Alcott Golf and Country Club. I just loved having a wedge in my hands.

Amy Alcott