Man Jokes Quotes

#1. Water jokes about the obstacles on its way; wise man jokes about the obstacles on his way!

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#2. Some [jests] are becoming to a gentleman, others are not; see that you choose such as become you. Irony better befits a gentleman than buffoonery; the ironical man jokes to amuse himself, the buffoon to amuse other people.

Aristotle.

#3. The more a man can make a woman laugh, the more attracted she will be to him. This is primarily because women seem to prefer dominating mates. As studies shows, women tend to laugh more at men they are interested into and men are attracted to those women who laugh at their jokes.

F.R. Lifestyle

#4. It has been my experience that, even when a man has a sense of humor, it only really carries him to the point where he will join in a laugh at the expense of the other fellow.

George Horace Lorimer

#5. It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon.

Lord Chesterfield

#6. Horse-play, romping, frequent and loud fits of laughter, jokes, and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink both merit and knowledge into a degree of contempt. They compose at most a merry fellow; and a merry fellow was never yet a respectable man.

Lord Chesterfield

#7. In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.

Robert Benchley

#8. The preacher released a pent-up breath as he sagged in relief. "Thank God he's gone." His eyes narrowed at Alexander as he bit out, "Did you know that man had the nerve to lasso me while I was out in the woods?

Rose Wynters

#9. Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

#10. He was a man who knew there were such things as jokes in the world or people would not write about them, but had never actually been introduced to one or shaken its hand.

Susanna Clarke

#11. If you wanted reflections on the nature of the universe and your place in it, you should have stayed in school. You want fart noises and cock jokes, I'm your man.

A.J. Hartley

#12. Every time a woman makes herself laugh at her husband's often-told jokes she betrays him. The man who looks at his woman and says 'What would I do without you?' is already destroyed.

Germaine Greer

#13. Is this still battle? Is this still the glorious matching of man against man? Or is this just murder? He did not care. I cannot tell jokes, or make pretty conversation, but this I can do. This I am made for. Bremer dan Gorst, king of the world!

Joe Abercrombie

#14. Here is a good joke. The little boy walks into an ice cream store, He asks for a sundae with extra hot fudge sauce. 'I'm sorry." says tje ice cream man. "Hot fudge only comes in one temperature." Mark, Florida

Susan Magsamen

#15. Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.

Louis C.K.

#16. A man must serve his time to every trade,
Save censure-critics all are ready made.
Take hackney'd jokes from Miller, got by rote
With just enough learning to misquote ...

Lord Byron

#17. Cut out all these exclamation jokes. An explanation point is like laughing at your own joke. I'm going to delete you from my contacts if you keep sending solely emoji texts. You're a grown-ass man.

F Scott Fitzgerald

#18. Why has my motley diary no jokes? Because it is a soliloquy and every man is grave alone.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

#19. I've never had sex. Never wanted to. Not with a man or a woman or an animal, though my family jokes about it. And I never will. The thought of it disgusts me.

Marie Phillips

#20. There were very strict social conventions, and you adhered to it, and I think it gave you a lot of character. When a man said something, he meant it. He wasn't kidding around. There were no jokes involved. Nobody was in the mood to joke unless you hit a guy with a baseball bat.

Jack Kirby

#21. Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes for a living.

Jamie Foxx

#22. I don't have to write jokes. I don't have to write insults. If you ask the man of the hour in the hot seat, my mere existence is clearly insult enough.

Rachael Ray

#23. Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? Because it stays up, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on!

Emily Giffin

#24. The primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy.

G.K. Chesterton

#25. He's a very funny and very nice man. When you read the script, you want to stick with it. But when you're with Eddie Murphy you've got to improvise. He's always making jokes and making me crack up when the camera's on.

Raven-Symone

#26. I aspire to be
an old man
with an old wife
laughing at old jokes
from a wild youth.

Atticus Poetry

#27. The man who acts as his own lawyer has a fool for a client.

Joseph Hansen

#28. Jokes have a relation to the unconscious.'
'Jokes may indeed have a relation to the unconscious. But also: sometimes a joke is just a joke.'
'Directed against-'
'Directed against you. Whom else? The man who doesn't laugh. The man who can't take a joke.

J.M. Coetzee

#29. A man could shoot a squirrel out of a tree from a distance of sixty feet. But he couldn't vomit into a bucket or pee into a pot only two feet away. It was one of the great mysteries of life.

Maggie Osborne

#30. What joy a forest without birds can give? And what happiness a man without jokes can create?

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#31. America sometimes resembles, at least from the point of view of a black man, an exceedingly monotonous minstrel show; the same dances, same music, same jokes. One has done (or been) the show so long that one can do it in one's own sleep.

James A. Baldwin

#32. A dead man sits on all our judgment seats; and living judges do but search out and repeat his decisions. We read in dead men's books! We laugh a dead men's jokes, and cry at dead men's pathos!

Nathaniel Hawthorne

#33. That's the moment I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have spent eighteen years with a man who can laugh at bad gun-control jokes whole a severed bear head is lying on his pillow.

Jenny Lawson

#34. Whether a man chooses to tell the truth in long sentences or short jokes is a problem analogous to whether he chooses to tell the truth in French or in German.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

#35. There's nothing in the world sicker-looking than the grin of the man who's trying to join in heartily when the laugh's on him, and to pretend that he likes it.

George Horace Lorimer

#36. A man does not become a real man by showing his physical domination over women. A man becomes a real man by loving, respecting and protecting women.

Avijeet Das

#37. Never, never tell jokes about a man with easy access to weapons of mass destruction.

Peter Chernin

#38. It will startle you to see what slaves we are to by-gone times-to Death, if we give the matter the right word! ... We read in Dead Men's books! We laugh at Dead Men's jokes, and cry at Dead Men's pathos! ... Whatever we seek to do, of our own free motion, a Dead Man's icy hand obstructs us!

Nathaniel Hawthorne

#39. Stay out of the gutter in your conversation. Foul talk defiles the man who speaks it ... Don't swear. Don't profane. Avoid so-called dirty jokes. Stay away from conversation that is sprinkled with foul and filthy words. You will be happier if you do so, and your example will give strength to others.

Gordon B. Hinckley

#40. A man's sexual organ is penis and woman's sexual organ is brains.

DK Publishing

#41. Does your license plate mean something?" Bing asked. "En-o-ess-four-a-two?"
"Nosferatu," the man Charlie Manx said.
"Nosfer-what-who?"
Manx said, "It is one of my little jokes. My first wife once accused me of being a Nosferatu. She did not use that exact word, but close enough.

Joe Hill

#42. How can a man live without drinking water? How can a man live without breathing air? How can a man live without making jokes?

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#43. I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

Nick Offerman