Top 54 If You Piss Me Off Quotes
#1. What does that mean, 'real'? Amn't I real, you? If you cut me, do I not bleed? If you piss me off, will I not kick you up the arse?
Tad Williams
#2. One corner of his mouth twitched. "Should I consider that a warning?"
"Just don't be surprised if you find yourself riding a bolt of lightning if you piss me off."
"I'm into kinky shit, so that works.
Larissa Ione
#3. I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
Bill Burr
#4. I have PMS and GPS, which means if you piss me off, I will find you.
Eve Langlais
#5. Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
#6. In the first years of our lives we learn how to shit, talk, walk, sleep, eat and, most importantly, how to royally piss off our parents.
A.G. Phillips
#7. You've gotta be careful who you share your big dreams with. People often piss on them. Some will even talk you out of your aspirations, mostly because they've given up on their own.
Diane Guerrero
#8. In went water and loaves of blackbread and sausages and cheese, and out can shit and piss and language.
Kurt Vonnegut
#9. The woman who'd killed me was really starting to piss me off.
Sharon Stevenson
#10. Then why haven't you killed yourself? (Astrid)
Why should I? The only enjoyment I have in my life is knowing I piss off everyone around me. If I were dead, it would make them all happy. God forbid I should ever do that. (Zarek)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#11. I am afraid to piss in the morning 'cause I don't want to waste any of my excellence
Miguel Torres
#12. Women are here to serve men. Look at them, they got to squat to piss. Hell, that proves it.
Larry Flynt
#13. I thought I was pretty damn clever. She said that was all right, she'd make three wishes. The first was that I wouldn't piss this money away being an idiot and forgetting I had
Nora Roberts
#14. This is why we must transcend our physical bodies. Because a body is always going to piss you off
Suzanne Morrison
#15. You listen to me now and stop cutting me off. It's rude." She stopped moving and dropped her hand. "You can't tell me what I can and can't do; where I can go and who I can see."
She stopped talking so he requested, "May I speak?"
"Only if you don't piss me off when you do it,
Kristen Ashley
#16. He wasn't looking at me, and I wasn't looking at him. "Sometimes I wonder if you make decisions just to piss me off."
I glared at the road. "Sometimes I wonder if you give yourself too much credit in my decision-making.
Catherine Doyle
#17. You know, Sam, it's beginning to piss me off how you figure me out. How the heck am I supposed to be intriguing and mysterious if you keep figuring me out?
Kristen Ashley
#18. Bonzo, he pre-cise. He so careful, he piss on a plate and never splash.
Orson Scott Card
#19. It's a piece of piss. You know what I do? I just get up and read the paper. Then people ask questions, and I just bullshit. Actively bullshit, as opposed to passively. That's the best bit. Just bullshitting. Piece of utter piss.
Neil Gaiman
#20. Earlier today I had sex with a monkey and then roasted and ate it with a glass of choir boys' piss. I like to get in the mood.
Peter Milligan
#21. When I first called Jerry Wexler, the man everybody most associates with Berns's career, and told him I planned to work on this book, Wexler's affable tone disappeared. "I'll tell you this," he said. "I don't know where he's buried, but if I did, I would piss on his grave.
Joel Selvin
#22. We shouldn't piss them off," explained Frankie, "because who knows what they'll do now that they've united.
E. Lockhart
#23. Must be the hair then. And the name change. And your new piss-poor attitude. Because every once in a while, I look at you and I don't see a Baby Doll anymore. I just see Alice Faye Dahl, Poker Champion Badass. With obvious, heavy influences from Ronald McDonald, of course.
Elle Lothlorien
#24. Trust me, you see the dead walking around, you learn not to scream, laugh, or piss yourself pretty quickly.
Stacey Kade
#25. It's real, Six. You can't get mad at a real ending. Some of them are ugly. It's the fake happily ever afters that should piss you off.
Colleen Hoover
#26. Dude deserves to be castrated, if you ask me.'
Ry chokes a bit, a strangled laugh. Remind me never to piss you off.
Kiersten White
#27. If you'd given yourself to someone else, you wouldn't be mine. And that would seriously piss me off.
Kristen Ashley
#28. I thought you were disgusted by the people that come to my club." "They're still people." He presses the button again. "If you go outside, you will be killed. If you make noise, you will be sent outside. Don't piss me off." Just like that, Chester's goes completely silent.
Karen Marie Moning
#29. You see, I don't know why I did it, he declared as if he had
just discovered the cure for cancer. But the only thing he had
discovered was yet another way to piss me off.
Danka V.
#30. Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Andy Rooney
#31. He curled his claw into a fist. "I'd like to shove a stake up that bastard's ass."
Adam's lip curled. "Remind me not to piss you off."
The demon raised his brow. "Trust that shit, mancy.
Jaye Wells
#32. The last time anyone did anything wrong in this town, Hades's men found those responsible and dragged them back here in chains. You would have to be insane to actively want to piss that man off." "Insane or very sure of yourself," I said.
Steve McHugh
#33. You know how they say revenge is best served up cold? I'd say it's best not served up at all. Revenge is a great motivator, but it doesn't help achieve the desired results. I've seen guys lose buddies, then go off half-cocked, piss fuel running through their veins. Things never turned out well.
Ellen Hopkins
#34. You want to fuck the singer, but you would suck on any of them. A rim job, a piss shower, wouldn't matter. The band plays in nothing but tube socks hung over their cocks and sacks. They can make the socks swing like giant tittie tassels. You've never seen anything so sexy.
Amanda Boyden
#35. Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now ... ? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually.
Nick Frost
#36. But for the love of piss, make some sort of decision. If you don't want to eat babies and nail bloodbags to walls, that's your choice. What Sarren did or made you do in the past has nothing to do with it now. You're a vampire. Do whatever the hell you want.
Julie Kagawa
#37. To be a true poet is to become God.
I tried to explain this to my friends on Heaven's Gate. 'Piss, shit,' I said. 'Asshole motherfucker, goddamn shit goddamn. Cunt. Pee-pee cunt. Goddamn!'
They shook their heads and smiled, and walked away. Great poets are rarely understood in their own day.
Dan Simmons
#38. We Americans, we're a simple people ... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Robin Williams
#40. I did go through a Goth thing, but that was a long time ago. I just like artists that shake it up, that piss people off or make people think or rattle the cage somehow.
Lisa Marie Presley
#41. I'm going to miss you, girls," he told the plants.
"You have names for them?" croaked Jane.
"This is Beatrice."
"You're not really a people person, are you?"
"Humans piss me off.
Adam Baker
#42. I'm impressed you left to keep everyone safe." He tenderly massaged the area above my hipbone with his right thumb.
"I've seen vampire men cry and piss their pants after one hour in the sewers by themselves. You've been walking most of the day and all alone.
Kenya Wright
#43. It's a sort of piss-take on culture, because a drag queen is a clown - a parody of our society. It's a sarcastic spoof on culture, which allows us to laugh at ourselves - but in a way that is inclusive of everyone.
RuPaul
#44. We investigate, we prepare, we execute. We find them, we take them down, and then we piss on their ancestors' graves.
Lee Child
#45. His appearance projected danger and reinforced the common knowledge that one did not want to piss off a demon, especially this one.
Kiersten Fay
#46. Exquisitely embroidered tapestries lined the walls of Medb's bedroom, but their impact was somewhat reduced by the room's ambience. A musky odor with pungent accents of stale piss.
David H. Millar
#47. Curing RM is in the realm of magical pixies and talking dogs that piss whiskey. It's impossible.
Dan Wells
#48. A three-legged dog
successfully crosses the road
to a new location
where there is greener grass
to piss on
Wesley Eisold
#49. If you don't tell people your plans they can't follow along." "They don't follow along anyway," Tyler said. "Most of them do their level best to piss in your well just to piss in your well.
John Ringo
#50. Look guys, I am your worst nightmare. I'm a woman with a badge, a gun, and PMS. Are you really sure you want to piss me off any more tonight?
K.V. McMillan
#51. A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.
Michael Showalter
#52. just munches away on tortilla chips and salsa like it's his last supper. Piss me off enough, it just damn well may be.
Silla Webb
#53. After finishing my drink I feel a pressure in my lower regions, and I realize I have to piss. Since the Dead don't drink, urination is a rare event. I hope I can remember how to do it.
Isaac Marion
#54. Anything to piss you off, Brother. Why else? (Arik)
Oh, that's easy enough to do. Basically the fact that you breathe does that. (Solin)
Love you, too. (Arik)
Of course you do, like a plague on your privates. (Solin)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
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