Top 40 Humorous Work Quotes
#1. Of all the skills necessary for her work, what she was perhaps worst at was being polite to inanimate things.
China Mieville
#2. In my serious work I am striving for the essence of things and for goals which are possibly unobtainable. On the other hand, everything humorous has great attraction for me, and a childish streak leads me into all kinds of frivolous endeavour.
Philippe Halsman
#3. You can't be a casual observer of something humorous - you have to engage, you have to find it funny for the relationship between actor and audience to work.
Brendan Coyle
#4. One thing I have to give Christians; were it not for Sunday, every day of the week would be a workday.
Lex Allen
#5. I am thrilled to be working with Alex Sanchez as the artist on 'Katana.' His work is wildly eclectic, exciting and powerful, yet slyly humorous, which is a perfect match for Katana.
Ann Nocenti
#6. A meeting is a collective tacit confession of participants' unwillingness to work.
Pawan Mishra
#7. You can't be too careful about work. It's the most dangerous habit known to medical science.
Eugene O'Neill
#8. The most overpowering will is the will to not work.
Saleem Sharma
#9. They view New York as Satan's waiting room." "If this is the waiting room, where does the guy reside or work?" "New Jersey, I assume," Kyle said with a smile. "I mean, dude, have you been to Jersey?
Michael Murphy
#10. Giving the rugged repairman the eye was one thing
but Charity had no intention of snogging away a whole rainy afternoon when she was supposed to be catching up on her work. Lady Margaret was counting on her! But then again, Lady Margaret didn't have big brown eyes and a cheeky grin.
Elizabeth Jane Howard
#11. If you're a fat person - and especially if you're a woman - at all stages of your life you'll get abuse for it, so you have to work out a way of dealing with it. The best way is to be humorous about it - that defuses any tension.
Jo Brand
#12. Humorous writing is often thought of as substandard in comparison to work with a more dramatic or tragic intent. I don't know what to say to this except that I disagree wholeheartedly.
Patrick DeWitt
#13. Happiness is; knowing that Goodreads isn't blocked from my work IT system.
Mel Morton
#14. Bad artists always admire each others work.
Oscar Wilde
#15. His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.
Arthur Conan Doyle
#16. I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.
Bob Hope
#17. Alexandra, my eldest, here, plays the piano, or reads or sews; Adelaida paints landscapes and portraits (but never finishes any); and Aglaya sits and does nothing. I don't work too much, either.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
#18. There are times when looking on the bright side takes a lot ot work. I'm taking a break from it tonight. I'll be back at it tomorrow.
C.C. Alma
#19. But instead I am applying for a job as an elf. Even worse than applying is the very real possibility that I will not be hired, that I couldn't even find work as an elf. That's when you know you're a failure.
David Sedaris
#20. People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
Erma Bombeck
#21. First month honey ... Next month pie ... Third month ... Get out here and work, you damn bitch, same as I.
Karen Cecil Smith
#22. The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have held the summit at Atlantic City and let them lose all their missiles playing Keno.
P. J. O'Rourke
#24. It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
Bob Hope
#25. The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
Bob Hope
#26. People who always arrive early aren't worth waiting for.
Crystal Woods
#27. The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work.
George Mikes
#28. The people shall further be graded according to wealth, and - humorous touch this - the more obviously a man labor, the more stinting shall be his reward; the more he work in the out-of-doors, the thinner his clothing shall be; the more his labor filthy him, the less water shall he have to wash
Jamie O'Neill
#30. Jim Rosato was recently married, to a Greek nurse. Rosato was half Irish and half Italian, and there was a pool on at the 1st as to which of the two would arrive at work wearing the other's skin as a hat within the year.
Warren Ellis
#31. Whenever I'm running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it.
Mark W. Boyer
#32. I'm going to go throw up now, because ive turned into my dad. If vomiting doesn't work, I'll see if I can get an exorcism.
Veronica Blade
#33. When you fall asleep after a big lunch you're really just saving up energy to work off all the calories later on.
Elizabeth Jane Howard
#34. I'm just trying to suppress my natural impulses and get back to work.
William J. Clinton
#35. Professional is an apt definition for me, professional slouch, that is. I can be very professional at seeming to do work, but the real work is trying to do as little as possible, without getting caught by Trip or any nosey busybodies.
J.C. Patrick
#36. He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.
Charles Dickens
#37. Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work.
Frank Zappa
#38. Every day in New York City is a test. Work hard and pass this test, you get a chocolate cookie. From a strange man on the subway. A man without pants.
Christy Hall
#39. I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience.
Jane Austen
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