Humorous Philosophy Quotes

#1. If you introduce the human figure you at once arouse either disgust or desire.

E. M. Forster

#2. A goat's frown cannot stop it from being taken to the market.

Nigeria

#3. You are an old pig!'one of them said to the other. 'And that is worse than being a young one.

Ivan Turgenev

#4. When God descends to us he, in a certain sense, abases himself and stammers with us, so He allows us to stammer with Him

John Calvin

#5. Regardless of who they are, whether they are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, Afghan women often describe the difference between men and women in just one word: freedom.

Jenny Nordberg

#6. Economics taught in most of the elite universities are practically useless in my context. My country [Afghanistan] is dominated by drug economy and a mafia; textbook economics does not work in my context.

Ashraf Ghani

#7. I'm still vegetarian - no, pescatarian, because I eat fish. I eat pretty much vegan at home, but when I'm on the road, I'm a bit more flexible. That was the kind of thing I learned as I got older - being flexible with it and listening to my body.

Amanda Crew

#8. Theoretically, the human is supposed to be the smart one. Well, if we are, then we need to be able to adjust to fit the situation rather than just think "Well this is how you work with horses. I've done this on 500 just like you."

Buck Brannaman

#9. Do you live each day as if it's your first or your last? Either way you should probably have a diaper on.

Ellen DeGeneres

#10. The job market, however, proved distressingly uncooperative. All of the local barista positions had been filled by more enterprising philosophy majors, and Arthur lacked the skills to do much beyond make a cup of coffee.

J. Zachary Pike

#11. When you're 18, when you're at college, sports can be your life. You can watch every baseball game, every college basketball game, every football game. Once you have a family and kids, you can't do that anymore.

Drew Magary

#12. It's hard to tread lightly when you continue to accumulate.

Craig Smedley

#13. And if anyone asks, you're Chinese. The boy had nodded. "Chinese," he whispered. "I'm Chinese." "And I," said the girl, "am the Queen of Spain." "In your dreams," said the boy. "In my dreams," said the girl, "I'm the King.

Julie Otsuka

#14. Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.

Carroll Bryant

#15. Life is about more that quotes about life

John Chaplin

#16. Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.

Helen Rowland

#17. I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction

Carroll Bryant

#18. Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

Jacob M. Appel

#19. I would rather write a book without a title if my true friend chooses to live in a million dollar home in London and acts foreign.

Duop Chak Wuol

#20. [ ... ] for the philosophy of Square rendered him superior to all emotions, and he very calmly smoaked his pipe, as was his custom in all broils, unless when he apprehended some danger of having it broke in his mouth.

Henry Fielding

#21. Hindsight is usually more tragic than helpful.

Linda S. Godfrey

#22. If you are a big company, a big website, and lots of users come to your website, you will have attacks, and you have to deal with that. It just cannot be a reason to take actions to exit certain markets.

Robin Li

#23. I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.

E.A. Bucchianeri

#24. The opposite of the happy ending is not actually the sad ending
the sad ending is sometimes the happy ending. The opposite of the happy ending is actually the unsatisfying ending.

Orson Scott Card

#25. She has a particular penchant for mentally noting how much I drink, how much I eat, how much exercise I get, and the like. These specifics all fall within her purview. So in truth, I don't remember how much I drink; it's not my job.

Jack Flanagan

#26. When you think about it, building this fence is crazy. Animals will keep climbing over it, or under it, or chewing their way through it. All kinds of animals. Maybe even some we didn't know existed.

Laura Ruby

#27. If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.

Mo Willems

#28. I've been coerced into free will.

Brian Spellman

#29. A parent knows better than any book or "expert" what their kid really needs.

Jessica Alba

#30. If Socrates was alive today he would say : I know that I know everything. That's what contemporary philosophers do.

Ljupka Cvetanova

#31. The better organized the state, the duller its humanity.

David Mitchell

#32. One acronym to live by: PDADP, meaning Personal Displays of Affection Disturb People.

Michelle A. Lammers

#33. The very purpose of a knight is to fight on behalf of a lady.

Thomas Malory

#34. A comedian is better than a politician; at least there is no doubt.

Bangambiki Habyarimana

#35. The world is made up of words.

Lailah Gifty Akita

#36. Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?

Carroll Bryant

#37. This is no tall story. Nor is it a short story. Indeed, a story cannot be measured, for their realities stretch far beyond a page or one person's life.

Leah Broadby