Humorous Mystery Quotes

#1. His overactive charm poured out like a lone drainage pipe after a flash flood.

Lida Sideris

#2. An idea is a gift, a finished project is turning that gift into a book by making yourself write even when you don't want to. There is no such thing as a block of time to write. You have to carve time from a busy day. Elaine L. Orr

Elaine Orr

#3. Daddy had a strict rule about firearms. Anything we killed we had to eat. No amount of barbecue sauce would make a hairy guy like you palatable.

Diane Kelly

#4. There is a great deal of duty that husband and wife owe to one another, such as to instruct, admonish, pray, watch over one another, and be continual helpers to each other in order to their everlasting happiness; they must also patiently bear with the infirmities of each other.

Richard Baxter

#5. I should never do anything pre-coffee.

'It was only a teeny fire,' I told my uncle over the phone.

Cindy Brown

#6. People take power trips at the most inopportune times.

Lida Sideris

#7. When in doubt, shoot 1st and ask questions later, but avoid the head, "because they'rea lot more likely to answer if they're not dead.

Lois Greiman

#8. I have no formal proof, but I dare not believe that Jean-Marie Le Pen would treat me as collateral damage in the battle he is having with the party.

Marion Marechal-Le Pen

#9. Tell them I have the headache
no, the plague! I need something nice and contagious.

Lauren Willig

#10. As citizens, we understand that it is not about what America may do for us. It's about what can be done by us, together.

Barack Obama

#11. I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual - that's to say, you handled it fairly well.

Arthur Conan Doyle

#12. Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.

George Carlin

#13. Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day.

E.J. Stevens

#14. In the past, America had slaves. Now it has the work ethic.

Marty Rubin

#15. He had a bushy unibrow that could house a family of quail.

Lida Sideris

#16. The sentiment of justice is so natural, and so universally acquired by all mankind, that it seems to be independent of all law, all party, all religion.

Voltaire

#17. Science never solves a problem without creating ten more

George Bernard Shaw

#18. I measure my days by the number of homicidal thoughts I have. I only had two today. So it must have been good.

Lida Sideris

#19. Awoke to find three vultures sitting on the fence. Realizing they were a portent of impending death I shot them.

Bridget Allison