Top 52 Humor Philosophical Quotes
#1. The truth about life is complicated, indefensible and embarrassing.
Alex Weinle
#2. A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches
Jeff Lindsay
#3. Like Flannery O'Connor, McCorkle's genius is to give us both philosophical speculation and a riveting narrative filled with unforgettable characters. Great writing, poignancy, humor, wisdom-all are in abundance here. Jill McCorkle is one of the South's greatest writers; she is also one of America's.
Ron Rash
#4. Life is like a DVR recording. The story goes on, but you cannot see it until you fast forward through the commercials
Christopher Earle
#5. The only working model of socialism I have ever seen is in an elementary school classroom.
R.M. ArceJaeger
#6. It is better to make an irrational noise in a bush than in a desert.
Duop Chak Wuol
#8. A suspicion that lightness is not deeply serious (but instead whimsical) pervades aesthetic discourse. But what if lightness is a philosophical choice to temper reality with strangeness, to temper the intellect with emotion, and to temper emotion with humor.
Sarah Ruhl
#9. This is no tall story. Nor is it a short story. Indeed, a story cannot be measured, for their realities stretch far beyond a page or one person's life.
Leah Broadby
#10. Godshawk looked surprised, the way that people generally do when you ask them philosophical questions in shrubberies in the middle of the night.
Philip Reeve
#11. Life is like a one rung ladder, some days you can be on the top and bottom of the world at the same time
Benny Bellamacina
#12. There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.
H.L. Mencken
#13. Some women barter their bodies like whores with wedding bands. Some use sex like a sword. But some women can touch a man and heal like Jesus.
Paula Wall
#15. Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought.
Carroll Bryant
#16. Progress is heading in a forward direction and realizing what was behind is now your legacy!
K.C. Rhoads
#17. The only difference between a prayer and a curse is the one who stands to profit.
Paula Wall
#18. Perhaps it is a good thing that we don't live long enough to realize how redundant things seem
G.E.GRAVES
#19. Most people need a philosophical enema and I'm the bag with the pipe.
Marla Buchanan
#20. Silence does not always imply consent. Sometimes it simply means that the silent one has opted out of a discussion with idiots.
Lex Allen
#21. He who jumps for the sake of jumping will probably keep jumping until he jumps back into his own jumping ground.
Duop Chak Wuol
#22. It's best to locate the mind first before launching the 'missiles of contention'.
Gasmaskman
#23. Some people remember the sixties better than others do. Some weren't even there, some who were there were not really there, and some who were not really there were "really there".
Tom Hays
#24. ... the vintage of history is forever repeating ~ same old vines, same old wines!
E.A. Bucchianeri
#25. An autobiography is inherently incomplete unless the last page is written on the eve of the author's demise.
Dan Makaon
#26. Some major writers have a huge impact, like Ayn Rand, who to my mind is a lousy fiction writer because her writing has no compassion and virtually no humor. She has a philosophical and economical message that she is passing off as fiction, but it really isn't fiction at all.
Theodore Sturgeon
#27. Betemit's positional flexibility is the same as yours: He can stand around and muse about the great philosophical debates of our day anywhere on the field. Catching and throwing the baseball is an entirely different question.
Baseball Prospectus
#28. Apparently, what differentiates the mere rich from the filthy rich is a servant who treats you like dirt.
Paula Wall
#29. Let destiny change you,but never change your destiny,for what God has given you is the best
Philosophical Library
#31. Human misery must somewhere have a stop; there is no wind that always blows a storm; great good fortune comes to failure in the end. All is change; all yields its place and goes; to persevere, trusting in what hopes he has, is courage in a man. The coward despairs.
Euripides
#32. Fear and anger, Yoda had often warned him, were slaves to the dark side. Vaguely, Luke wondered which side curiosity served.
Timothy Zahn
#33. If you make a deal with a fool, don't be surprised when they act foolishly.
Jeffrey Archer
#35. I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.
Kurt Vonnegut
#37. Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes
Benny Bellamacina
#38. We go to school so that when we grow up we can make lots of money, and we make lots of money so we can provide for our children, and we have children to provide for our retirement (because we don't have any money left).
R.M. ArceJaeger
#39. You won't comprehend the vitality of literacy until you marry an illiterate.
Kshitij Shringi
#40. If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.
Yogi Berra
#41. It's a philosophical minefield!
Cabal had a brief mental image of Aristotle walking halfway across an open field before unexpectedly disappearing in a fireball. Descartes and Nietzsche looked on appalled. He pulled himself together.
Jonathan L. Howard
#42. Be not afraid life with all its despair, pain and unhappiness is just a crucible wherein your brighter dreams are conceived, shaped and born
Rassool Jibraeel Snyman
#43. When there's a monster under your bed sometimes it really is best not to look.
Jocelynn Drake
#44. A king of a kingdom no one fucking knows about! I'm the tree in the forest that silently falls
when no one is around to be crushed! [Lothaire, Enemy of Old]
Kresley Cole
#46. The older we get, the more we become ourselves.
Alan Andrews
#48. It is logical to look for a green fowl in a dark room even if you know the chance of finding a green fowl in a dark room is slim.
Duop Chak Wuol
#49. While the churches, bringing the sweet smell of piety for the soul, came in prancing and farting like brewery horses in bock-beer time, the sister evangelism, with release and joy for the body, crept in.
silently and greyly, with its head bowed and its face covered.
John Steinbeck
#50. Earlier on I said something so lucidly philosophical that my oratory rambled non-stop right into expressing amazement I had just said that.
Beth Myrle Rice
#51. Life is like a double-blind experiment. And the Observer is the only One in on the Know.
Solange Nicole
#52. I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world?
E.A. Bucchianeri
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