Hi My Name Is Funny Quotes

#1. Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Kristen Schaal

#2. The great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill.

Cuthbert Soup

#3. Of course drugs were fun. And that's what's so stupid about anti-drug campaigns: they don't admit that. I can't say I feel particularly scarred or lessened by my experimentation with drugs. They've gotten a very bad name.

Anjelica Huston

#4. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Steven Wright

#5. Alvin smiled back, and kissed her. People talk about fools counting chickens before they hatch. That's nothing. We name them.

Orson Scott Card

#6. No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

Groucho Marx

#7. It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

Mike Birbiglia

#8. The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in a different city.

Vance Bourjaily

#9. Anything you say can and will be used against you, so only say my name.

Fall Out Boy

#10. Instead I sounded like a little girl on her first day of kindergarten. My name is Bee, and I like coloring and horsies.

Kate Avery Ellison

#11. Hoodie was just a nickname I had growing up and I just wanted to have a name that would stick in peoples' minds and be a little bit funny and representative of who I am.

Hoodie Allen

#12. We bask in the scent of cinnamon before
Mom puts a scone her plate.
'His name is Rich,' she says.
I select a scone too.
'I like a man with an adjective for a name.

Kelly Bingham

#13. How funny your name would be if you could follow it back to where the first person thought of saying it, naming himself that, or maybe some other persons thought of it and named that person. It would be like following a river to its source, which would be impossible. Rivers have no source.

John Ashbery

#14. It's probably the only attraction in Shartlesburg, Pennsylvania, a town whose name Miriam finds so funny she, well, nearly sharts every time she hears it.

Chuck Wendig

#15. Sir Henry fixed him with a keen eye.
'Odd name, Tom Skatt - eh?'
'Thats right'
'You don't think we could be related?'
Tom looked up at his great-great-great-uncle and smiled.
'I don't think so'
'No,' grinned Sir Henry no, of course not

Henry Chancellor

#16. What are you?" he demanded. "A slayer?" I rolled my eyes. "The name's Val, not Buffy. Do I look like a blond cheerleader with questionable taste in men?

Parker Blue

#17. I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Paula Poundstone

#18. The security guy asked my name address and phone number, and then he asked me what was the difference between a condom and a cockpit.

Chuck Palahniuk

#19. And what exactly is it that you do?"

"I do pretty much what the name implies. I shoot trouble.

Bard Constantine

#20. I'm in my dressing room about to play to a sold-out crowd at the O2 arena in Ireland. Name a female rapper who's ever done that and I will give you $100,000.

Nicki Minaj

#21. The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

Steven Wright

#22. My name is Matt Besser, and I'm an Arkansas Razorback. My father is a Jew from Little Rock, Ark., my mother was a Christian from Harrison, Ark., and somehow I'm an atheist now living in L.A. I am a Razorback living in the Razorback diaspora.

Matt Besser

#23. At the time, my 6-year-old kept thinking my character's name was "Sam Alone," which is kind of brilliant. The funny came out of Sam's sad core: the alcoholic, the sex addict, the person who thinks he's God's gift.

Ted Danson

#24. The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique.

Mitch Hedberg

#25. Your name. That's all I want. I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours.

Colleen Hoover

#26. Polly Esther Doe was born at 8:03 a.m. on August 14.

Adam Rex

#27. How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name.

Yogi Berra

#28. There are so many other fun ways to dishonor the family name that buying girls' underwear shouldn't be one of them.

Rin Chupeco

#29. I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around.

Olivia Munn

#30. Don't have to see," the pilot grunted. "Olga knows the way."
"Funny name for an aircraft," Grace commented. "Is it after your wife?"
"My gun."
Grace stared at him. "You named your plane after a gun?"
"It was a very good gun.

Gordon Korman