Halloween Humor Quotes

#1. Well, how did you die, then?" the old man finally asked.
"Die?" Matthew threw back. "Are you crazy? I'm not dead. I'm just very late.

J. Tonzelli

#2. I had a dream about you last week. It was October 31, 2002 and we met at a Halloween party. You came dressed as yourself; I knew you've been hiding your true self all this time.

Rodney Jenkins

#3. Don't you love fall?" Stacey asked. "All the little festivals, the changing leaves, kids in Halloween costumes, the dead spewing up out of their graves to haunt the living ...

J.L. Bryan

#4. A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

Erma Bombeck

#5. For Aaron, looking like a skeleton was very much for life, not just for Halloween

Kestral M. Gaian

#6. Flames moved towards him
and dropped within
-
singed and marred
his tender skin ...
(the frightful plight tale)

Muse

#7. I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure I'll hold out until Halloween."
"That's already passed."
"Exactly," I muttered

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#8. Beware! As you trick or treat. These creatures will find you and make you smell their feet.

Casey Browning

#9. The woman gestured to a seat and put on a patient face. An impatient sort of patient face, like an impatient face dressing up as a patient one for Halloween.

Shannon Hale

#10. By the way, the next time you see a little girl who's excited for Halloween,and she says,"I want to be Cinderella! I want to be Cinderella!" you'll know that what she's actually saying is,"I want to be Toilet Cleaner! I want to be Toilet Cleaner!" But don't tell her that, because she'll cry.

Adam Gidwitz

#11. Agatha, you dressed as a bride for Halloween."
"Weddings are scary.

Soman Chainani

#12. Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.

Henny Youngman

#13. What good is it, being two stranded British fops in the heart of America, if we don't announce it on Halloween by wearing enormous fuzzy hats for the purpose of our humiliation?

Red Tash