Funny Wizard Sayings

#1. Well I ain't Dr. Phil, but I'm smart," she said.
"And your shoes are cuter than his," I said, trying to sound at least semi-normal.
"Yeah they remind me of Dorothy's ruby slippers, only mine are wedges 'cause I'm more fashion conscious than she was.

P.C. Cast

#2. Simply making myself aware of others has remarkably improved my social life. People accept me much faster now that I ignore them less.

John Elder Robison

#3. Pick up a thing," [Wizard Kadmeion's]mother would say. "Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing in its proper place.

Lita Burke

#4. There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard.
'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people. Funny, really. I mean, you'd expect it to be the other way round.

Terry Pratchett

#5. Little minds find gratification for their feelings, benevolent or otherwise, by a constant exercise of petty ingenuity.

Honore De Balzac

#6. If you are killing a chicken and cooking a chicken, it has to taste like chicken. Veal has to taste like veal. You have to be able to identify what you're eating. One of my worst experiences is when I can't tell what I'm eating. It is a waste.

Joel Robuchon

#7. America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Evan Esar

#8. We look at the present through a rear view mirror. We march backwards into the future.

Marshall McLuhan

#9. There is no spoon.

Jim Butcher

#10. Drab?" Soldier yelled. "I'll give you drab. Beat her, would you? Beat my wife? I'll feed your head to the vultures, you snotty little hamster with your golden pelt and buttery looks!

Kim Hunter

#11. That's what children do - throw food. That's not fighting. We were real men. We'd have chinned them.

George Best

#12. People try to challenge me in bars every now and then. As long as they're not physical I just walk away, but if they get physical then I just end up in a fight.

Johnny Knoxville

#13. The minute you're born, you're getting older.

Doris Roberts

#14. I couldn't think of one clever way to stop this guy, so I just trusted to mindless violence.

Grant Morrison

#15. Yer a wizard, Harry!

J.K. Rowling

#16. None of my issues have included memory loss or unconscious actions," she said.
Thomas squinted back at her. "If they had, how would you know it?"
Molly frowned. "Valid point.

Jim Butcher

#17. Wherever the Jew is found he is a problem, a source of unhappiness to himself and to those around him. Ever since he has been scattered in your midst he has had to maintain a continuous struggle for the conservation of his identity.

Maurice Samuel

#18. I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one.

Criss Jami

#19. North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from.

Lewis Black

#20. Because, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I was embraced by the gays. They loved me and praised me. I was funny and so mean and mature for my age!

Tina Fey

#21. When they throw the water on the witch, she says, "Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness". That line inspired my life. I sometimes say it to myself before I go to sleep, like a prayer.

John Waters

#22. There was a movement called 'disco sucks', it was a shame to like disco, but then there was no music to dance to, so some DJs started to use old disco records, but the B-sides and the acapellas, and we began producing beats with drum machines.

David Guetta

#23. If a wizard should take up residence in your garden and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.

Mark Jackman