Top 39 Funny Tears Quotes
#1. Do not cry for me, Azrael. Do not waste your tears. You made your decision. And this is mine. Sacrifice seems to be my destiny. A funny thing for a selfish man, isn't it? They always called me weak back then ...
Melissa De La Cruz
#2. FBI Girl is touching and funny, inspiring and tragic, enlightening and sad. I closed the book with tears in my eyes and admiration in my heart for the girl Maura Conlon was and the writer she became.
Beverly Donofrio
#3. I want a Goddamn strong statement on marijuana, I mean one that just tears the ass out of them. You know, its a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana is Jewish.
Richard M. Nixon
#4. I've done some music for films and I really enjoy doing it.
Ikue Mori
#5. His utter helplessness at the sight of my tears leaked through his confident voice. It was almost funny that such a great warrior as Hasani was reduced to panic at the sight of a stupid tear or two.
Courtney Cole
#6. Saddened that I, a smart, semi-funny, nutty, loyal, good woman, could feel so negative about myself under all the smiling and humor, I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. The way I felt about my appearance was bad. Really freakin' bad.
Samantha Young
#7. Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It's like the original violins were made in Cremona and there's never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat.
Emo Philips
#8. And I would stop and take you in, all of you, and when our eyes lock we'd just stare into each other's souls and all of the lost time would come out in the shape of a big smile, a few tears and a tight hug that feels like ...
I don't know, it would feel like home.
Morgan Parker
#9. I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.
Gabriel Iglesias
#10. Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there.
Andy Richter
#11. Goth Juice ... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.
Noel Fielding
#12. I wasn't very good at the bike thing. Really, it was just dangerous to trust two skinny little wheels and spindly brakes with the considerably uncoordinated woman that is me.
Kathryn Smith
#13. Oh God, is this like Silence of the Lambs?" Tears flowed down her face. "I don't want to go down the hole! I won't put lotion on the skin! Look at me, you won't be able to wear my skin, I won't cover your huge ass!" She wailed.
Alanea Alder
#14. It's really funny because the same people who loved me as Stringer Bell were the same people that were watching 'Daddy's Little Girls' literally in tears.
Idris Elba
#15. Funny thing about getting proposed to in a shower. You can't tell which is water and which is tears. I said yes, and then he kissed me. I said yes, and then he touched me. I said yes, and then he slipped inside me. I said yes, yes, yes, and then he loved me.
Alice Clayton
#16. He bursts into tears, and not some manlike tears either, where you pretend you're brushing something off your face and, incidentally, wipe a tear. Nope. He starts bawling like a kid who spilled his Slushie ...
Alex Flinn
#17. It's what I do. I don't deserve any awards for this, it's just music. It's just writing songs. You sit down, you write a song, you record it. You tour and play the songs live, dress them up a bit differently, or dress them down.
Elvis Costello
#18. I love talking to people and hearing their stories. Everyone's got their own story to tell, and when you sit down with someone and really talk to them, you can learn so much.
Dan Wells
#20. Through a veil of tears I watched the city get smaller and smaller. It was funny, because it sort of felt as if my heart was doing the same thing.
E.M. Denning
#21. Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.
Ben Stein
#22. Whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. And peace will be with you.
Barbara Kingsolver
#23. Ethan was loyal and funny and protective. When we were little, he was the brother most likely to make me cry - and mostly likely to wipe away my tears.
Rachel Vincent
#24. That's the trouble with cookbooks. Like sex education and nuclear physics, they are founded on an illusion. They bespeak order, but they end in tears.
Anthony Lane
#25. I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset.
Hannah Harrington
#26. His handsome face is suffused with rage. He stands before me shaking, then to my disgust, bursts into noisy tears; "I shall tell my mother of you!" he sobs and crashes out of the chamber
Alison Weir
#27. On the stairs he was crying so much he hardly saw where he was going - not a mad boo-hoo but wailing sheets of tears, shaken into funny groans by the bump of each step as he hurried down.
Alan Hollinghurst
#28. In the presence of a reader of Teilhard De Chardin I feel disarmed, nonplussed, ready to break down in tears.
Michel Houellebecq
#29. In geology the effects to be explained have almost all occurred already, whereas in these other sciences effects actually taking place have to be explained.
James Croll
#30. I don't want to dedicate my life to getting publicity.
Charles Koch
#31. First I have tried to achieve the highest quality of technical facility possible so that I have at my fingertips the availability to create anything I want. Then I paint.
Audrey Flack
#32. It's enough to make me laugh. I close the door behind me and sit down again, considering this, and truly, I find it so funny that I laugh until I cry.
And when the tears come I think aah ...
So this is what it means to be alone.
John Boyne
#33. My mind absorbs things in a funny way. I'm on planes quite a bit and I always take stacks and stacks of magazines and I go through them and tear pages out and fold them up, and they get stuck at the bottom of my backpack or whatever.
Marc Jacobs
#34. I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
Tears For Fears
#35. Nothing," she said, "upsets me more than being hungry; I snarl and snap and burst into tears.
Shirley Jackson
#36. It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.
Fran Lebowitz
#37. You're not just trying to do something marginally, incrementally better. You're doing something that is a fundamental paradigm shift, that will have exponential impact. That means it's harder to do, but ultimately, if it's successful, the impact it has is far greater.
Steve Case
#38. Russia! Russia ... Everything in you is open, desolate and level; your squat towns barely protrude in the midst of the plains like dots, like counters; there is nothing to tempt or enchant the onlooker's gaze. But what is this inscrutable, mysterious force that draws me to you?
Nikolai Gogol
#39. To have an incredible increase in self esteem, all you have to do is start doing some little something. You don't have to do spectacularly dramatic things for self esteem to start going off the scale. Just make a commitment to any easy discipline. Then another one and another one.
Jim Rohn
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