Funny No Parking Quotes

#1. You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.

Tommy Cooper

#2. When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.

Steven Wright

#3. I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#4. Share results (financial and key metrics) with the company every month.

Sam Altman

#5. As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.

Doug Stanhope

#6. I draft quickly and then revise, a lot.

Erin Morgenstern

#7. Resilience lives next door to success; the two have so much in common they often get together for lunch.

Matshona Dhliwayo

#8. Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"

Henny Youngman

#9. included: no religious doctrine or practice can be authentic if it does not lead to practical compassion.

Karen Armstrong

#10. On my way to the parking lot, in quick succession, I saw students wearing t-shirts which read, "Save the whales. Collect the whole set," "Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now," and "Half the people you know are below average." Typical for the Eastern student body.

Neil S. Plakcy

#11. Be advised that there is no parking in Europe.

Dave Barry

#12. I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

Billy Connolly

#13. From Ronan's room, he heard Noah's laugh. He and Ronan were throwing various objects from the second-story window to the parking low below. There was a terrific crash.
Ronan's voice rose, exasperated. Not that one, Noah.

Maggie Stiefvater

#14. I saw Hulk Hogan the other day in a parking lot, and I couldn't tell from a distance if it was Hulk Hogan or not. And I realized I've never had that dilemma before. I've always been able to tell immediately when looking at anybody if they were or were not Hulk Hogan.

Kyle Cease

#15. I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell.

Bob Hope

#16. They say everything that can be written has been written. I say we are just getting started.

Andrew Barger

#17. What I did with his automobile was fairly dramatic and somewhat risky, but still a lot easier than finding a parking place on the Upper East Side.

Mark Helprin

#18. Funny, gorgeous, and a genius. What a package. He backed out of the parking space, smiling as he drove away.
I loved that he left crazy off the list.
I loved it even more that he would never think to add it.

Myra McEntire