Funny Mirror Quotes

#1. You, lass, have a self-image problem.
Well, that might be a little true, but she also had a mirror.

Cherise Sinclair

#2. God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.

Jim Norton

#3. He put on a short-sleeved white T-shirt and tried not to flex when he checked his reflection in the mirror. Is this what women felt like when they put on miniskirts?

Rainbow Rowell

#4. Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other?

Josh Stern

#5. I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.

Steven Wright

#6. Suddenly he caught his reflection in the mirror behind her. His face was twisted into a dark scowl, and he was standing there naked, with a boner, and another man's business card in his hand.
He looked like a dick.

Sarah Mayberry

#7. It's funny how your relationship with your own looks changes when you go weeks without seeing yourself. None of us really knows what we look like after all. In that nanosecond it takes for a mirror to give our faces back to us our mind has already done all sorts of perverse rearranging.

Nina De Gramont

#8. I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.

Richard Lewis

#9. She reached the powder room and shut the door behind her, jumping in fright at the sight that met her gaze in the mirror, until she realized it was her reflection. She peered closer and grinned.
She looked deranged.

Jen Turano

#10. I went to see my doctor ... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah ... I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

Rodney Dangerfield

#11. I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.

Steven Wright

#12. Propping the mirror against the wall near the door, he waved a hand at it and clipped, "Drustan: Cian MacKeltar. Cian: Drustan MacKeltar."
"Dageus," Drustan's voice was soft as velvet, never a good sign, "why are you introducing me to a mirror?

Karen Marie Moning

#13. It's funny, the very things I needed to learn are the things I was trying to teach you.

Kate McGahan

#14. Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway.
'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.
'Naturally, you're a male. What you see is what you've got,' I said resentfully.
'Huh?' said Lester.

Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

#15. Unfortunately, this is so obviously a convention of bad fiction that it might as well read, 'Looking in the mirror, Joe saw a tall, brown-haired man, trapped in a poorly written novel.

Howard Mittelmark

#16. I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said "Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear". I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.

Demetri Martin

#17. The funny thing about having any kind of moustache or beard is it grows on you - in two ways. I mean, it grows on you. It also becomes part of your identity. I've had it for 40 years. I don't think I would recognize the person in the mirror without it.

John W. Boyer

#18. I had a dream about you. You were on a bike going 70 miles an hour, I could see you approaching my car in the mirror. You were trying to say something so, I jumped on the brakes as hard as I could, I guess I forgot I had tied your bike on my bumper.

Georgia Saratsioti

#19. It was time for the mirror pep talk.
"Okay, Maggie," I said to myself after my shower, wiping the steam off the medicine cabinet.
"You could eat these kids for breakfast. You won't, though, because that would be cannibalistic and
wrong.

Robin Benway

#20. It's funny. Looking back, none of it seems to matter now, those moments of yearning, craving to belong with people I thought mattered. No more fragments of glass, pieces of a broken mirror you can't put back together and wouldn't want to even if you could.

Rebecca Harris

#21. You mostly know that you want to be funny, know that you have the desire. It's not like people who grow up beautiful and can look in the mirror and be like, I'm beautiful! Funny is more of a journey. And a desperate attempt.

Tina Fey

#22. If life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.

Jim Steinman

#23. I think the mirror should be tilted slightly upward when it's reflecting life
toward the cheerful, the tender, the compassionate, the brave, the funny, the encouraging, all those things
and not tilted down to the gutter part of the time, into the troubled vistas of conflict.

Greer Garson

#24. He also gave me some advice that I follow to this day: Sing in the mirror. If it looks funny, it's wrong.

Renee Fleming

#25. Let me see if I have this quite correct", said Tessa after a pause. "Jessamine found youth the invitation in your hand, so you struck her over the head with a mirror and tied her to her bed?"
Sophie nodded.
"Good Lord,

Cassandra Clare

#26. My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

Frank Carson

#27. I wake up every day and look at my own ugly mug in the mirror and don't think twice about it. The fact that other people might want to look at me still feels funny. It's flattering, but funny.

Luke Bracey

#28. That was what I liked most about my friends: just sitting around and telling stories. Window stories and mirror stories. I only listened - the stories on my mind weren't that funny.

John Green

#29. Everything seems fine until you're about 40. Then something is definitely beginning to go wrong. And you look in the mirror with your old habit of thinking, 'While I accept that everyone grows old and dies, it's a funny thing, but I'm an exception to that rule.'

Martin Amis

#30. It's not all about love. That's half of it ... The other half is about that moment you have with yourself when you're looking in the mirror, and you just go, 'Oh man. I'm going to compromise my dreams, get fat, sick, old and die someday. I kind of want to have someone around for that.'

Marc Maron

#31. When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.

Burt Reynolds

#32. I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

Wallace Shawn

#33. It's funny about a face, how big a difference it makes. I mean, one day you look in th mirror and you think, yeah, that's me, that's my face. And then another day ... you think, that's not me, that's not my face. So am I my face? I mean is that all I am?

John Marsden

#34. I'm comfortable with who I am," I say, which is a funny thing to say while shaming my own body in a full-length mirror. "Shut

Matthew Norman