Funny Inappropriate Quotes

#1. I will do comedy until the day I die: inappropriate comedy, funny comedy, gender-bending, twisting comedy, whatever comedy is out there.

Sandra Bullock

#2. Twitter has the sustained ability to not get all touchy when I forget to "favorite" and thus had me at the first entirely inappropriate tweet flung my way.

Jennifer Harrison

#3. Does Hallmark make a "Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner" card? I settled for "How much do you remember?

Molly Harper

#4. Ambiguity is not, today, a lack of data, but a deluge of data.

Paul Gibbons

#5. I think the Democratic Party has picked a lot of the wrong candidates, the kind that Middle America, or people who are more down the middle and more rational, can't side with. I think that's been the problem.

Glenn Danzig

#6. Every perversion has survived many tests of its capabilities.

Mason Cooley

#7. We could talk, act, and dress funny. We were excused for socially inappropriate behavior: 'Oh, he's a programmer'. It was all because we knew this technology stuff that other people found completely mystifying.

Kent Beck

#8. I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

Chelsea Handler

#9. Nice is nice," Hayter-Ross said. "But being a bitch gets results.

John Scalzi

#10. There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.

Calvin Trillin

#11. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

Calvin Trillin

#12. When I've got nothing better to do, I look down the league table to see how Everton are getting along

Bill Shankly

#13. Never be daunted

Ernest Hemingway,

#14. Woolsey bites on occasion

Cassandra Clare

#15. I want kids to understand that strength doesn't come from what goes on around you. It comes from inside you, and that comes from Jesus Christ.

Willie Aames

#16. One thing I would say is real cops have real gallows senses of humor and make incredibly funny and inappropriate jokes in the presence of dead people all the time.

Daniel J. Goor

#17. I am very benign-looking. I'm somewhat like a golden retriever: It's not hard to look at me. I'm perfectly fine. It's not like things jut out and make you nervous. But the lovely thing about being so pale and having such pasty features is that I can look like pretty much anything, which is nice.

Elizabeth Mitchell

#18. You can't make Christ funny. He's self-aware, he's too flexible within the situation. It's rigidity, it's when the ego takes over and the behavior becomes inappropriate that it becomes funny.

John Cleese

#19. There are so many musicians, friends of mine, who play shows for ten people a night, or always desperately wanted a record contract. So even if every person on the planet loathes me, I have nothing to complain about. My job is not a bad job, so I can't complain.

Moby

#20. You can be a hero to someone just by being their friend.

Ray Rice

#21. Let me guess
Nathan," he said with a bitter laugh. "It has to be Nathan. Christ, he told me day one that he liked you. But don't forget our history, Leigh. We were great together.

Alicia Thompson

#22. There is no need for that language, or for the yelling, I'm on the phone with you, not a thousand miles away. I can hear you perfectly."
He was such a dickhead

L.A. Casey

#23. When I don't feel in the mood for painting I go to the movies for a week or more. I go on a regular movie binge!

Edward Hopper

#24. You had a talk? You think talk got us out of Egypt or Entebbe? Uh-uh. Plague and Uzis. Talk gets you a good place in line for a shower that isn't a shower.

Jonathan Safran Foer

#25. Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.

P. J. O'Rourke

#26. Throughout your life there may be times when you have gone places you never should have gone and done things you never should have done. If you will turn away from sin, you will be able one day to know the peace that comes from following the pathway of complete repentance.

Boyd K. Packer