Funny I'd Rather Quotes

#1. It's funny, I'd rather be known as a writer who crafted a really nice piece about women's friendships over time. But that doesn't roll off the tongue like 'YouTube sensation.'

Kelly Corrigan

#2. I don't like to do anything that's mean spirited just because I don't find it funny. I'd rather be the jackass than makes fun of somebody else. It just seems too cheap and easy.

Melissa McCarthy

#3. I would rather be called funny than pretty.

Nia Vardalos

#4. I've learned to start from a really sound argument, boil down the essence of what you're trying to say, then build your humor around that, rather than starting with, 'This sounds funny,' and going from there.

Hasan Minhaj

#5. I want to be part of movies that have important and interesting subjects but are not depressing and are rather satirical and funny.

Terence Lewis

#6. I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.

Jim Norton

#7. Keep trying?
I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky

Ljupka Cvetanova

#8. The tricky thing becomes: Do you know yourself well enough to then portray that on screen? And for me, I find that really hard. I'd rather hide behind accents and funny walks.

Joel Edgerton

#9. I'd rather have rabies than be in love."
"Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.

Shelly Laurenston

#10. I'd rather be funny than wise.

Dennis Miller

#11. I'm not trying to be ridiculous or funny, but it was rather pleasant to find yourself in isolation, in solitary.

Joseph Brodsky

#12. In a funny way I think social media is making people less rather more experimental. People are too worried about looking good all the time. When I grew up you could get it all horribly wrong and it didn't matter, there was no record.

Patrick Grant

#13. I'd rather be ignored as a frog than eaten as a human.

E.D. Baker

#14. I should think a dead language would be rather boring, socially
speaking.

Sol Luckman

#15. I'd rather have less time than I think, than less think than I have time.

The Covert Comic

#16. I don't have the looks to compete at a bar, and I'm not that funny. So the last thing I want is to be in a situation where that's what I'm competing on. I'd rather be on OkCupid or Match, where I can write a 300-word essay about myself that's really good.

Sam Yagan

#17. In theory I rather admire the Spaniards for not sharing our Northern time-neurosis; but unfortunately I share it myself.

George Orwell

#18. I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me.

Daniel Dae Kim

#19. As a young man, I used to sport a rather ragged beard [ ... ]; it doesn't suit and in its untended state I can often come to look like a set of sensory organs lost in a raspberry bush.

Claire North

#20. You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell.

Heather Hildenbrand

#21. I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

Groucho Marx

#22. I had heard of offices feeling like prisons, but in this case our prison felt, rather anticlimactically, like an office.

William Ritter

#23. Why would you do that? (Delphine) Why do you think? (Jericho) Because I'm a bossy hag and you'd rather be enslaved to a man you hate than deal with me. (Delphine) You know ... you're not funny. (Jericho) I think I'm hysterical. (Delphine)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#24. It is a funny thing, but when I am making music, all the answers I seek for in life seem to be there, in the music. Or rather, I should say, when I am making music, there are no questions and no need for answers.

Gustav Mahler

#25. Funny but, for me, the Bible was a hobby before it was a serious study. It was the thing I'd sneak off and do on the side, feeling rather guilty because I wasn't doing my real school homework or whatever ... and never thinking I would make it a life's work.

N. T. Wright

#26. The one thing I think I've noticed about shows that are supposed to be funny on television is that they've sort of become routinized, so there's an awful lot of mannerisms and joke lines that are sort of there to trigger laughter, rather than give actors a chance to play a moment.

Alan Alda

#27. First of all is the fact that I have some rather good turns of phrase. I don't say that pridefully ... it's just that when a line I forgot about smacks me in the face and says, "Look at me! Aren't I lovely?" I have to notice.

Rachel Heffington

#28. I love my funny poems, but I'd rather break your heart. And if I can do both in the same poem, that's the best.

James Tate

#29. Never met such a Gorgon ... I don't really know what a Gorgon is like, but I am quite sure that Lady Bracknell is one. In any case, she is a monster, without being a myth, which is rather unfair.

Oscar Wilde

#30. he hadn't killed or shagged even one single person in front of me - which I felt was a rather good indication of his superior character.

Hettie Ivers

#31. Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph again!

Diane Ackerman

#32. I don't really find things funny unless they're deeply tragic at the same time. I think if you're funny just for the sake of being funny, it's just frivolous nonsense. To me, all the best comic plays have been written about really serious and rather bleak things.

Lee Hall

#33. Paul looks like he'd rather just go home and make out in the kitchen; I would agree, except that I know my Dad is likely to be in there with his laptop, listening to the Beatles music as he catches up on all the Facebook "in memoriam" posts in his honor. Total mood-killer.

Claudia Gray

#34. We all die at the end, but does that nullify everything? Would most people rather say, "I wish I hadn't been born?" Once you're born you'll have to die, now is that funny or sad?

John Cleese

#35. I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.

Neil Gaiman

#36. Great," Shane said. "Look i'd rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners."
"And to cleaning," Michael said.
"Look who's talking, Didn't the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in your room?

Rachel Caine

#37. I don't think of myself as funny. I think of myself as rather grave, actually. And I'm suspicious of fun. I never quite know what that is or how to deal with it or how to generate it. That's my fault. I know it's a burden on the people I'm with. It's tiresome.

Hugh Laurie

#38. I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.

William Faulkner

#39. I'd rather live my life believing in God to die and see there is one. Because if there isn't one, it means there's no eternal life, therefore I will never know.

Sandra Chami Kassis

#40. I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

Jimmy Carr

#41. No place I'd rather be stuck than inside--er, with you, Dr. Morgan.

Kendall Grey

#42. I think sex is overrated. I don't have sex appeal and I know it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm rather funny looking. My teeth are funny, for one thing, and I have none of the attributes usually required for a movie queen, including the shapeliness.

Audrey Hepburn

#43. I'd rather proliferate funny little rumors than not.

Autre Ne Veut

#44. Why? As much fun as a hospital sounds, I'd rather spend the evening dancing with an amazing, smart, funny, interesting, beautiful girl who has the most incredible green eyes I've ever seen. Sophie, will you go to the dance with me?

Leslea Wahl

#45. Two years ago, I was a twenty-nine year old secretary. Now I am a thirty-one year old writer. I get paid very well to sit around in my pajamas and type on my ridiculously fancy iMac, unless I'd rather take a nap. Feel free to hate me
I certainly would.

Julie Powell

#46. Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.

Mark Watson

#47. When I realised I had a facility for humour, I latched on to it, and it gave me confidence and I built my personality around it. So I subconsciously made myself become the funny one so that would be my label rather than the ginger one or the red-faced one.

Catherine Tate

#48. Funny thing about regrets. I don't lament what I've done, but rather, what I didn't do.

J.A. Konrath

#49. Sarah, honey, I hardly think kidnappers are going to take the time to buy a memento of their stay. I could be wrong, but it seems rather unlikely.

Christine Feehan

#50. It's a funny thing, one day you're living and the next day you're not sometimes, whether you have plans or not. Wishes and wants get trumped by the reaper every time. I don't even know if I would want a warning if it was my time. I think I'd rather be surprised.

Dan Groat

#51. I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.

Jeff Dunham

#52. I'd rather be the bloke laughing at other people. I don't need to make people laugh. I surround myself with funny people. I laugh all the time.

Jennifer Garner

#53. I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.

Kelly Ripa

#54. Caroline, do you value your neck?"
"Yes, I'm rather fond of it. Why?"
"Because if you don't shut up, I'm going to wring it.

Julia Quinn

#55. I decided I would rather have a day job and love music than to play music that made me hate it.

David Torn

#56. I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Bob Monkhouse

#57. I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

Jimmy Carr

#58. You should have been born a poet," she whispered as she pulled away.
"Screw that," he laughed as he placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I'd rather be a porn star," he said

Amelia Hutchins

#59. I'd rather be stung to death by a bunch of piss ants. ~Synola Harper, You're Busting My Nuptials

Ann Everett

#60. I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

Mitch Hedberg

#61. I would rather be funny than gorgeous, absolutely. Because it's too hard to be gorgeous, you know. I could make a stab at gorgeous as long as I had something funny to say to get out of it.

Gilda Radner

#62. I always feel a little funny being in front of a lot of people trying to show them my approach to the ukulele, but I do enjoy it. I do get a little more nervous doing workshops rather than performing.

Jake Shimabukuro

#63. I take a sip of my beer, and it's - I mean, it's just astonishingly disgusting. I don't think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I'd rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin.

Becky Albertalli

#64. I'd so much rather people think I was funny than pretty.

Kristen Johnston

#65. I'd much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.

Nicole McKay

#66. The funny thing is a lot of people assume that my parents are the ones pushing me to make music. The truth is that I'm the one dragging them along on this crazy ride. They'd much rather have a normal life, but it doesn't look like that's in the cards.

Cheyenne Kimball

#67. I'm not sure who faked their orgasm first, but thankfully it was over rather quickly.

Donald Jans

#68. The Lazysphere - a working definition - is a group of bloggers who I won't name by name, but you can spot them a mile away. Rather than create new ideas or pen thoughtful essays, they simply glom on to the latest news with another "me too" blog post.

Steve Rubel

#69. I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money to: a man that smells 4like liquiid garbage, or ocean breeze?

Daniel Tosh

#70. I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one.

Criss Jami

#71. Alma: I rather suspect her of being in love with him. Martin: Her own husband? Monstrous! What a selfish woman!

Lady Randolph Churchill