Top 48 Funny Hot As Sayings
#1. Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3
Randy Glasbergen
#2. I don't want to dig him or his sexy self. But I keep losing my clothes when I'm with him.
Jill Shalvis
#3. Brittany was "hot".Perhaps she was.She wore many layers and summer weather was still in reach.
G.L. Tomas
#4. Her jaw worked, however nothing but a shocked stutter came out. "You, you
"
-"Hot piece of demon ass?"
-"No."
-"Brave soldier of Hell?"
-"No!"
-"Number one panty-dropper in the Pit?
Eve Langlais
#5. It's funny - more people talk about my 'babe-dom' now than they did before I had a child. Whatever. I guess I'm a role model in hot pants now. That's cool!
Lauryn Hill
#6. Considering what a hot, wed dog smells like, dog stew has a surprisingly savory odor To tell the truth, it tastes pretty good, like oxtail. To be perfectly honest, it's delicious. (Anything about this to my golden retriever, and I'll punch your lights out.)
P. J. O'Rourke
#7. I think so. I want a hamburger and a hot dog." I paused. "And ice cream in one of those waffle cones. And - and I want to see the big kitties.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#8. I'm way hot," he muttered. "But I don't feel sick. Just - way hot."
Fang
James Patterson
#9. What's a TH?"
"A Traffic Hazard," Heeb clarified.
"Oh you mean because the woman is so hot she'll take your eyes off the road?" Narc confirmed.
"Exactly.
Zack Love
#10. The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!
Jerry Coleman
#11. You know it gets me hot when you're mad. What are you wearing right now under your stethoscope?'
'You're not funny.'
'Oh, come on. I'm a little funny.
Meg Cabot
#12. You take a very handsome guy, or a guy that thinks he's a real hot-shot, and they're always asking you to do them a big favor. Just because they're crazy about themself, they think you're crazy about them, too, and that you're just dying to do them a favor. It's sort of funny, in a way.
J.D. Salinger
#13. Oh, doctor. I think I'm sick I need some penis-cilin. I fake cough again into my hand.
S.K. Logsdon
#14. Oh my god, I am so awesome!" Leo bellowed.
"So awesome!" Echo yelled back.
"He is funny," a nymph ventured.
"And cute, in a scrawny way," another said.
"Scrawny?" Leo asked. "Baby I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.
Rick Riordan
#15. The funny thing is, people only know me for having straight hair for work, but I live in Atlanta where it's hot and humid in the summertime. So when I'm home, I wear my hair natural. My hair is naturally curly; I don't have a relaxer.
Keshia Knight Pulliam
#17. I like the hot-cold, the sugar-salt, being able to play over-the-top and dramatic things - in the same film. Just as in my life, I can be very funny and at other times almost extinguished.
Jean Dujardin
#18. Knox Masters is exactly the type of guy I want to date. He dominates a sport I love. He's confident but not arrogant. He's funny, able to laugh at himself, and ... shit, hot as the fires of Mordor. I mean, the One Ring could be forged in his hotness.
I want him.
Jen Frederick
#19. Ooh, big day in town for our park warden," I said. "They're even making you wear the uniform.
Hayley's mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it."
Dad turned as red as his hair.
Mom's laugh floated out from her studio. "Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone.
Kelley Armstrong
#20. Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!
Jerry Coleman
#21. I'm English. We're about as tactful as a hot poker up the bum, most of the time.
L.H. Thomson
#22. Just another part of that Spartan killer instinct. I can slay the ladies just as well as I can reapers.
Jennifer Estep
#23. READ! Books can be as delicious as hot-fudge sundaes, as funny as clowns, as exciting as a baseball game that's tied in the 9th inning, and as beautiful as the best sunset you ever saw.
Judith Viorst
#24. I like to count myself as someone who doesn't follow that stuff and someone who's just trying to invent stories and characters and movies that are just funny and work because they're good and not because they're a slight variation that were hot a few months ago.
Scot Armstrong
#25. Bella,leave the aggressive stuff to me."
My heart quirks in my chest. I may not like this guy but that sounded so hot. "Um ... " Focus,focus. "What?
Jenny B. Jones
#26. Dave walked closer to me, his dark eyes combing my every move. "Do you always hold your guitar like that?"
I dropped my pick. "Do you always shop at Hot Topic?
Tara Kelly
#27. She'd call us her bee-utiful girls and take us for hot chocolate on Mondays, because Fridays didn't deserve all the attention. It was funny. I used to think of myself as a Monday and Ellen as a Friday. But Mondays and Fridays were just twenty-four-hour stretches of time with different names.
Julie Murphy
#28. Oh, hell, he'd look hot in a chicken suit.
Cyn Balog
#29. June laughs. "I have to say, you look better than most people I see. I've heard a lot about you."
"I hear about you a lot too," Eden replies in a rush, "mostly from Daniel. He thinks you're really hot.
Marie Lu
#31. Oz lists the hem of his shirt, exposing his cut abs, and wipes his brow with the material. Oh my with chocolate on top. That was just beautiful.
Katie McGarry
#32. Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.
George Mikes
#33. You're looking good today Bret. Very hot ... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.
Kristen Schaal
#34. He flipped himself onto his side and kissed me. "You're so hot," I said, my hand still on his leg.
"I'm starting to think you have an amputee fetish," he answered, still kissing me. I laughed.
"I have an Augustus Waters fetish," I explained.
John Green
#35. I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees.
Ryan Lilly
#36. I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus, if a producer is going to date a hot young thing, I'm probably not the first person on their list - the weird, quirky, funny girl.
Whitney Cummings
#37. I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.
Jon Stewart
#38. Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
Minnie Pearl
#39. Jocko likes salty, Jocko likes sweet, but never bring Jocko any hot sauce, like with jalapenos, because it makes Jocko squirt funny-smelling stuff out his ears.
Dean Koontz
#40. Class?" I asked in surprise. "Today?"
"This isn't a spa vacation, Tiger Lily. Just be glad it's History of Wormwood and not conditioning."
"Conditioning?"
"Hope you've got a bottle of Icy Hot in there.
Christine Manzari
#41. Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot.
Stephanie Perkins
#42. Sure. I'd like to live regular. Go home to a good looking wife, a hot dinner, and a husky kid. But I guess I got film in my blood. I love this racket. It's exciting. It's dangerous. It's funny. It's tough. It's heartbreaking.
Weegee
#44. I wasn't a 'hot chick' in high school. I was 'funny' and a tomboy and probably a little uncomfortable with my amazing boobs.
Iliza Shlesinger
#45. Yes, Max is very hot." "Excuse me?" She laughed. "He's the knight, and you're the noble gentleman, silly. You're both hotties." Ethan snorted with a laugh. "On with the tour you noble hotty you." "You're a funny girl, but also quite hot." "Thanks." Ethan
Cheri Schmidt
#46. This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink ... mug of water.
Russell Brand
#47. Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.
Huntley Fitzpatrick
#48. I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, "I'm glad I ate that." I'm always like, "I'm gonna die! I paid for that? Did I eat it or rub it on my face? My back hurts."
Jim Gaffigan
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