Funny Blanket Sayings

#1. A brick could create a clear winner in a fight if instead of fighting pillows against blankets, you fought bricks against blankets.

Amy Summers

#2. A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you should really feel this rug!

Nicole McKay

#3. Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.

Nicole McKay

#4. Bricks are independent but can work well with other, tough to crack, fiercely loyal and put in the right spot will hold anything and everything that you've ever held dear with the greatest of ease.

Nicole McKay

#5. Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they'll at least have something to keep them warm after they've lost all their money when the company goes under.

Amy Summers

#6. Sol? As much as I appreciate you making me this lovely womanly blanket ... you think we could try lying like normal people who don't want to merge into one being?"
"Can't have that. We'd make one gross merged being. Your ass and my ass together? The universe would run in terror.

Charlotte Stein

#7. 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.

David Cross

#8. When it started to climb between my legs, my balls and its claws only separated by a thin blanket, I sincerely considered throwing it (the cat, not my member) out of the window.

John Duover

#9. A brick could be used for note delivery, from the KKK.

Nicole McKay

#10. The man you're going to marry should be like a brick: strong, sturdy, supportive and almost always hard in your presence.

Nicole McKay

#11. If you're a struggling artist having money problems just superglue a brick in the middle of a blanket, and call it art. Someone will buy it.

Nicole McKay

#12. A brick and a blanket are the perfect symbols for the superhero Captain Dense.

Nicole McKay

#13. A brick and a blanket together create a blick. That's it. That's all I got.

Amy Summers

#14. I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.

Woody Allen

#15. Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you could play Brick, Blanket, Action Fingers, in which brick cripples action fingers, blanket smothers brick and action fingers beats blanket.

Nicole McKay

#16. Blankets are good to carry around if you want to be able to quickly black bag someone.

Nicole McKay

#17. A brick is a biographical film in which a young orphan brick from the wrong side of the track grows up to be one of the most important bricks in all brick kind, as it is now quite literally the cornerstone of one of America's greatest ballparks.(Fenway)

Nicole McKay

#18. Blankets on the other hand are incredibly needy as they are always trying to fill a "void". Are a bit whorish in that the instant you walk away from them in less than a minute they'll be all over someone else, and the moment you actually need them they're nowhere to be found.

Nicole McKay

#19. A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick.

Nicole McKay

#20. A brick is ... ... ... Well it's a bloody brick what more do you want from me?

Nicole McKay

#21. Soak blanket in gravy and make a delicious brick wrap. Serve in All Gravy Room at the Mandrake Hotel.

Christoph Fischer

#22. I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil).

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#23. Money is ego, and people won't give it up. Just want to protect themselves, hold on to it like a blanket. They don't realize it keeps them slaves. It's sick" "What's funny is that as soon as you give everything away, as soon as you say, Here, take it - that's when you really have everything".

Emma Cline

#24. I've always wanted to go out with a bang, that's why I carry two bricks around with me wherever I go, so when I leave a room I clap them together.

Nicole McKay

#25. A company could use bricks to measure their growth rate. How many bricks have angry investors thrown at you lately? If the answer is none, then your growth rate is probably pretty good ... for the moment.

Amy Summers

#26. You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket.

Nicole McKay

#27. Instead of putting flowers in books to flatten them you can use a brick.

Nicole McKay

#28. A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good.

Amy Summers

#29. A new baby! Why, Scarlett, this is a surprise!" he laughed, leaning down to push the blanket away from Ella Lorena's small ugly face." - Rhett Butler

Margaret Mitchell

#30. For loose teeth the tooth fairy recommends tying your tooth to a brick and throwing said brick down the stairs.

Nicole McKay

#31. A horse blanket, Mel?
I remembered what I was wearing. 'It tore in half when Hrani tried washing it. She was going to mend it. This piece was too small for a horse, but it was just right for me.'
Bran laughed a little unsteadly. 'Mel. A horse blanket.

Sherwood Smith

#32. The Bible talks about building houses on sand and rock, but says nothing about a brick house built on a blanket.

Nicole McKay

#33. Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'

Russell Howard

#34. A brick could be used as a frame for a door, and the blanket could be used as the door.

Nicole McKay

#35. A blanket is a tell-all story about its endeavors with certain highly publicized people and their somewhat promiscuous acts.

Nicole McKay

#36. You could carve out the inside of a brick and hide your money in it for safe keeping. It's certainly safer than keeping it in the bank!

Nicole McKay

#37. I had a dream about you last night ... I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive.

Nicole McKay

#38. I'd much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.

Nicole McKay