Flight Attendant Quotes

#1. I need to touch the person's head again. Experience has taught me that you can do this three times before the head's owner either yells at you or rings for the flight attendant.

David Sedaris

#2. The guy said industry slang for flight attendant was Space Waitress. Or Air Mattress.

Chuck Palahniuk

#3. There are so many places I want to visit. When I'm a flight attendant, I can visit the Grand Canyon one day and be in Hawaii the next. I can't imagine a more perfect job. - IB We

Lisa Schroeder

#4. Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

David Spade

#5. My first ever job after college was as a flight attendant. I wanted to travel and could not afford it, so I decided to get myself a job where I could travel. I did it for two years and had great fun.

Jacqueline Winspear

#6. Flying back from New York, the flight attendant said 'God, I wished you were here yesterday, we had a stroke on the plane. I said, if I have a stroke on a plane, I hope the pretend doctor isn't the one on the plane. I want a real doctor.

Anthony Edwards

#7. The real challenge of being a flight attendant is getting people out. The training requires that they demonstrate they can evacuate an aircraft within 90 seconds, but of course, a lot of stuff that is easy to do in training turns out to be tough in practice.

Philip Greenspun

#8. My grandmother was, back when they called them 'stewardesses,' a flight attendant. I actually had a ball wearing that little uniform and making sure everything was under control.

Erika Christensen

#9. What with the pointing and the blue suit, she brought to mind a flight attendant. I expected her to tell me that in the event of an emergency, my brand-new Hecate blazer could be used as a flotation device.

Rachel Hawkins

#10. My parents got divorced when I was around a year old. My dad was essentially a nonentity in my life until I got to be about 16 or so. My mom was a flight attendant for PanAm, so I moved all over the world. London, Rio de Janeiro.

Tucker Max

#11. Just looking at Palin up on the podium doesn't impress me. She looks like a chief flight attendant on a Piedmont flight from Winston-Salem to Cleveland, with only the bag of almonds and the polyester kerchief missing from the picture. With

Matt Taibbi

#12. I hated being a flight attendant. I did it for a month and then quit.

Evangeline Lilly

#13. If you have never seen a flight attendant praying, I hope you never do, because it is one the scariest things in the whole world. Scarier

Mindy Kaling

#14. When I began my career as a flight attendant, I was a 21-year-old with a B.A. in English and stars in her eyes. I wanted to see every city in the world. I wanted to have adventures that, I hoped, would fuel a writing career some day.

Ann Hood

#15. That must be strange, cheating on your wife with a flight attendant. They're in bed and she's says, 'In the event that wife should come home early please notice the location of the nearest emergency exit.'

Jay Leno

#16. As a child I wanted to be everything from a doctor, lawyer, flight attendant to an IT pro- fessional and could never make up my mind. I figured as an actor I'd get to play all these professions.

Lavrenti Lopes

#17. Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Natasha Leggero

#18. Sir, your friend needs to put her seat belt on."
"As much as I like a lovely girl leaning on my shoulder," a lilting voice whispered near my ear, "I think you might want to listen to the flight attendant.

Jenny B. Jones

#19. The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me.

Bill Burr

#20. Here I am ... You get the parts of me you like and also the parts that make you uncomfortable. You have to understand that other people's comfort is no longer my job. I am no longer a flight attendant.

Patricia Ireland

#21. Damn! This flight attendant treating us like we won these first class tickets in a contest.

J. B. Smoove

#22. Muhammad Ali: Superman Don't need no seat belt. Flight Attendant: Superman Don't need no airplane, either.

Clifton Fadiman

#23. The speaker over my head crackled,
"There has been a Bell-Atlantic pager misplaced. If anyone has found it, please make this known to a flight attendant."
It's under my left foot and you're never seeing it again.

Henry Rollins

#24. To be a small town kid from Hialeah, Fla., pitching in Miami and representing Team U.S.A., that says it all. It's a kid's dream. Don't pinch me. I don't want to wake up.

Gio Gonzalez

#25. We're always looking for the Big Love, the Big High, the next Big Thing to happen. We miss what's in front of us.

Geneen Roth

#26. And swear each night to let her go, then love more by dawn.

Lang Leav

#27. I loved Queen, Journey, Fleetwood Mac, and people like Barbara Streisand. The thing with me is that classical music was also an inspiration. I took piano lessons at the Royal Conservatory of Brussels for 10 years.

Lara Fabian

#28. I love being from Wisconsin.

Tanya Fischer

#29. The world of literature has no boundaries for words are lighter than air.

Nanette L. Avery

#30. ingredients of genuine motivation - autonomy, mastery, and purpose - they

Daniel H. Pink

#31. You've got a one-track mind, beautiful." I

Aria Cole

#32. I eat an enormous amount of fruits and vegetables.

Andie MacDowell

#33. The thing I worry about for myself is I spend a lot of time alone, and another person comes around and you're like, 'What are you doing here? Get out of here.'

Sarah Paulson

#34. Is he drunk?' the attendant asked as they boarded the early morning flight.
'Not yet,' said Grey.

Wendy Wunder

#35. Luckily, I'm setting records without even thinking about it, without having the pressure of having to do as well as the person who came before me. It's more like, "Yeah, I'm doing my thing and what happens, happens," and fortunately those have been some pretty amazing results.

Mariel Zagunis

#36. It's not how many friends you have but how important you are to them.

Ty Patterson

#37. Once you get the nod, your mentality totally changes. It's like a heavyweight fighter-you win the title and that's it, you don't want to look back and you don't want to change. That's the way I feel and I'm looking to keep the job.?

Mark Sanchez

#38. I listen to kids play a lot.

Itzhak Perlman