End Of The World Humor Quotes

#1. My brief flash of relief and confidence melted away. Good thing it did, too. I'm sure the world would come to an end if I were allowed to feel a sense of relief and well-being for any length of time.

Jim Butcher

#2. Coffee first. Save the world later.

Caroline George

#3. My head is in a world of hurt. My apartment is trashed. At the end of today, I could either be dating the girl who saves my family's future or is going to be the ending of it. When did life get so damn complicated?

Pella Grace

#4. I hope I never smell the smell of apples again!" said Fili. "My tub was full of ut. To smell apples everlastingly when you can scarcely move and are cold and sick with hunger is maddening. I could eat anything in the wide world now for hours on end - but not an apple!

J.R.R. Tolkien

#5. What the semicolon's anxious supporters fret about is the tendency of contemporary writers to use a dash instead of a semicolon and thus precipitate the end of the world. Are they being alarmist?

Lynne Truss

#6. In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#7. Male writers who never find the stabilizing force of an understanding woman in their lives usually end up as the jaded figures of their days, the types who give much artistic expression to the world, but who are lonely in their overcrowded worlds of love.

Janvier Chouteu-Chando

#8. But I was starving! You know I always forget my lunch - and who expects me to concentrate on Advanced Manga Drawing Level 2 when visions of pork buns and powdered doughnuts dance in my head? Teacher Suzuki acted like it was the end of the world just because I got hungry,
Bunny Lilka

Tiffany Fulton

#9. Maybe taming my tongue will be good for me in the end. But it's pretty hard when you've got a world filled with idiots from Drunkopolis.

A. J. Jacobs

#10. On George W Bush: That man sits at that desk in the White House with the button that can end the world. My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television.

Billy Connolly

#11. What's that, forgone conclusion then you reckon, sir?' said the barman. 'Arsenal without a chance?'
'No, no,' said Ford, 'it's just that the world's about to end.

Douglas Adams

#12. Newt was sitting on the ground with Frypan and Minho, all three looking as if they were waiting for the end of the world.

James Dashner

#13. I can.
He rent his dark tresses,
Resulting in messes,
Thus prompting his L.I. to flee till,
she reached the end of the world and jumped off.
Perhaps I have untapped potential.

Franny Billingsley

#14. I don't know what's in the water but chivalrous men seem to be landing here along with the weird lights in the sky and nine coloured rainbows. They said the end of the world was close, I just didn't expect men with manners to be part of the equation

Poppet

#15. Life feels like a game of Snakes and Ladders, but without any ladders.

David Moody

#16. Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.

Terry Pratchett

#17. The easiest lie ever told is a truth no one believes.- Sixteen Seconds

Aubrea Summer

#18. There are those lunatic people who always prophesy the end of the world. I belong to them.

Angela Kiss

#19. That is why I love Starbucks. It doesn't matter how much money you have or what social world you're from, chances are you will still eventually end up at a Starbucks in order to revel in the taste sensation provided by the Frappuccino. It is the great equalizer of our time.

Kyra Davis

#20. A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke.

Soren Kierkegaard

#21. I, on the other hand, have no faith that your mission - whatever it is - can succeed. I'm content to bide my time here in this tiny, damp, worm-infested hovel and wait for the world to end. Cheers.

Gillian Bronte Adams

#22. Don't put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.

Emma Chase

#23. You frighten me, when you say there isn't time."
"I don't see why. Christians have been expecting the imminent end of the world for millennia."
"But it keeps not ending."
"So far, so good.

Orson Scott Card

#24. It was one thing to snuggle a little when the world seemed about to end, and quite another to explain to her parents that she wanted to date an ancient magical horse.

Brandon Mull

#25. A bright light at the end of a tunnel can seem warm and inviting, or it can seem mysterious and terrifying. People of the world "all working on their arts and crafts" can seem like heaven or, if you're me, hell.

Mary Roach

#26. I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world.

Marc Maron

#27. Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.

Jacqueline Patricks

#28. Yeah, Vi, unless Armageddon hit while i was fuckin' you this morning and we missed it, I'm thinkin' grocery stores still exist and they're all still stocked.

Kristen Ashley

#29. Ted," he said, "when all this started, I asked myself, 'Am I going to withdraw from the world, like most people do, or am I going to live?" I decided I'm going to live-or at least try to live-the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure.

Mitch Albom

#30. I want that little blonde bitch in the lobby to hear me screaming your name.

Aaron B. Powell