Top 100 Donkey Quotes
#1. I learned long ago that you don't get in the middle of a lover's spat. Nothing EVER goes as planned - People fall in love with the wrong person, someone ends up with a donkey head and then its a whole big mess. - Puck
Julie Kagawa
#2. The happiness of the superficial: when a man who has lost his donkey finds it again.
Idries Shah
#3. If a woman's got nothing but her fair fame to feed on, why, it's thin tack, and a donkey would die of it!
D.H. Lawrence
#4. If Jesus were here today, he wouldn't be riding around on a donkey. He'd be taking a plane, he'd be using the media.
Joel Osteen
#5. I lived in a hut with no roof, and I rode to school on a donkey. I used to shoot birds with a slingshot to cook for dinner. Now I prefer to get my food from KFC.
Wyclef Jean
#6. In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
Chris Rock
#7. A unicorn is a donkey from the future
Joe Rogan
#8. The trick of getting donkeys down from minarets," said the Patrician, as the desert unwound below them, "is always to find that part of the donkey which seriously wishes to get down." The
Terry Pratchett
#9. If somebody tells you you have ears like a donkey, pay no attention. But if two people tell you, buy yourself a saddle.
Sholom Aleichem
#10. I like 'fresh fruit flan'," said the donkey. "Three excellent words."
"I don't have one," said Noah immediately before the question could even be asked, and the donkey opened his eyes wide in suprise, and for a moment Noah wondered whether he might even consider eating him.
John Boyne
#11. All male friendships are essentially quixotic: they last only so long as each man is willing to polish the shaving-bowl helmet, climb on his donkey, and ride off after the other in pursuit of illusive glory and questionable adventure.
Michael Chabon
#12. I stepped out of the circle of his arms with reluctance and patted him on his butt. "That'll do, donkey," I said, in my best Scottish accent.
H.D. Gordon
#13. Only the great warriors fall down from their horses; one would not fall who rides a donkey cart.
Waheed Ibne Musa
#14. I was in a Nativity play as a kid. Back then, I played the donkey.
Tatiana Maslany
#15. In school nativity plays I was always the bloody little donkey, I was never Mary.
Geri Halliwell
#16. The FBI announced today that they are now looking for Osama bin Laden's financial adviser. You think this guy is in demand. How good can he be? his top client is living in a cave and driving a donkey. It doesn't sound like he is getting the best return on his investments to me.
Jay Leno
#17. Never done anything yourself, have yer? Never performed live to a real audience, have yer?' 'Nor have I fucked a donkey, destabilized a Central American state, or played Dungeons & Dragons,' retorts Cheeseman, 'but I reserve the right to hold opinions on those who do.
David Mitchell
#18. A society can survive bad donkey drivers. But it cannot survive contempt for truth - whether inside or outside a courtroom.
Dennis Prager
#19. He who sees a gold bullion more valuable than a tree has surely an intelligence much less than a donkey's!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#20. This is indeed a funny country. Yesterday, for example, we were in a cafe which is one of the best in Cairo, and there were, at the same time as ourselves, inside, a donkey shitting, and a gentleman who was pissing in a corner. No one finds that odd; no one says anything.
Gustave Flaubert
#21. There is no doubt in the sanctity of Mecca, but a donkey won't become a Hajj pilgrim by just going through the motions.
Rahman Baba
#23. What's the saying? All is donkey balls in love and war?
-Dan Garrett
Leah Rae Miller
#24. I am here, come closer," the old donkey said with her eyes. "I will mother you.
Katherine Dunn
#26. Somewhere near the Alamo, a bugle brayed: either that or McCulloch's men had found some reason to torture a poor, defenseless donkey.
Harry Turtledove
#27. So he can go ride a donkey naked through the desert with snapping turtles attached to his nipples for all I care.
Suzanne Wright
#28. Anyone can see that an ass laden with books remains a donkey. A human being laden with the undigested results of a tussle with thoughts and books, however, still passes for wise.
Idries Shah
#29. Then, stop worrying so much what the rest of us think; just get on the damned donkey and ride it.
Susanna Kearsley
#30. Note to self on waking. Lay off the beer on an empty stomach. This dream is even more screwed up than the time I had a donkey and a corkscrew. (Aiden) Donkey and a corkscrew? (Leta) I don't know you well enough to fill you in on those details. (Aiden)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#31. Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey.
Andy Zaltzman
#33. There are thousands of wines
that can take over our minds.
Don't think all ecstasies
are the same!
Jesus was lost in his love for God.
His donkey was drunk with barley.
Rumi
#34. I do believe the Democratic party has moved far to the right. I do believe that the party has a bunch of elephants running around in donkey clothes.
Al Sharpton
#35. We also pass a farmer in his yard, power-washing a donkey with a high-pressure hose.
Simon Armitage
#36. Follow and elephant or a donkey for too long, and you'll eventually get dumped on.
A.G. Roderick
#37. Poetry is a dumb Buddha who thinks a donkey is as important as a diamond.
Natalie Goldberg
#38. When in the body of a donkey, enjoy the taste of grass.
Tenzin Wangyal
#39. I feel like a donkey, with a stick in my mouth and a carrot up my ass.
Anton Chekhov
#40. He doesn't need a donkey," says Ana Kuya. "He has a wife.
Leigh Bardugo
#41. A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything.
Idries Shah
#42. God is not troubled by one who is conservative or liberal, and He certainly never inclines His ear toward a donkey or an elephant.
Max Lucado
#44. The strength of the donkey mind lies in adopting a course inversely as the arguments urged, which, well considered, requires as great a mental force as the direct sequence.
George Eliot
#45. When I arrived to study at Oxford in October 1963, the bohemian style was black plastic or leather jackets for women and black leather or navy donkey jackets for men. I stuck to cavalry twills and a duffle coat, at least for a few months.
Tariq Ali
#46. Well, well. The new head of the People's Atlanta office had come to see me personally. I'd curtsy but I was too tired to get off my donkey and the sword on my back would get in the way.
Ilona Andrews
#47. I like parties, but I don't like pinatas, because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals: 'Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzaz. Let's kick his ass!'
Demetri Martin
#48. River on the ferry, Billy swam beside it, and Harriet remembered the donkey and the donkey cart of her first
Rose Tremain
#49. Von Neumann, by contrast, wore a three-piece suit at almost all times, including on a donkey ride down the Grand Canyon; even as a student he was so well dressed that, upon first meeting him, the mathematician David Hilbert reportedly had but one question: Who is his tailor?45
Walter Isaacson
#50. Tengo had a gift for such work. He was a born technician, possessing both the intense concentration of a bird sailing through the air in search of prey and the patience of a donkey hauling water, playing always by the rules of the game.
Haruki Murakami
#52. That's more about lifestyle [Peter Mayles], living abroad. It's about buying a donkey and house in south France, and that's a slightly different thing. A very popular genre but that's not quite my thing.
John Gimlette
#53. Come along,' I told the donkey. 'There's a precedent for this.' Manny
Kerry Greenwood
#54. The Frenchman works until he can play. The American works until he can't play; and then thanks the devil, his master, that he is donkey enough to die in harness. But the Englishman, as he has since become, works until he can pretend that he never worked at all.
G.K. Chesterton
#55. Ignorant have always the tendency to see the donkey as the noble horse, to see the pig as the lion! Ignore the judgements of the ignorant, because ignorant makes the ant elephant; he declares the stupid as the intelligent; he carries the silly on his shoulders!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#57. A charity donkey is where you sponsor a donkey in a sanctuary and give them three pounds a month to have some donkey nuts or something.
Richard C. Armitage
#58. I may be a donkey but I can kick the wrong people.
Amit Abraham
#59. It is now your duty to hone that talent, because a person who wastes his God-given talents is a donkey.
Khaled Hosseini
#60. I suspect people are suckers for a prick. I suspect folks just naturally go belly-up for a snob. Folks figure if a guy acts like he's King Tut and everybody else is donkey shit, he must be an aristocrat.
Katherine Dunn
#61. The winner of this election will be like same donkey, new saddle.
Malalai Joya
#62. In the Bible, God uses brothel owners, pagan kings, murderers and mercenaries as instruments of good; at one point God even speaks to a guy named Balaam through his donkey.
Shane Claiborne
#63. Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey.
George Orwell
#64. Moving a safe distance away from her, I curse Dominic the mother fucking donkey.
Tara Sivec
#65. I'm into classic games like Donkey Kong, and also collect vintage tour t-shirts - everything from Olivia Newton-John to Duran Duran. I've got a Chicago one worth $100.
Michael Rosenbaum
#66. If a person who is content with his life meets someone who makes everything just a little bit more challenging, who both fits and doesn't fit into his life and his routine, to quote Guy Fieri, it is On Like Donkey Kong: swing the rope, jump the barrel, and save the princess.
Sarah Wendell
#67. Never send a Man in to do a Donkey's job
Josh Stern
#68. I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn't talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#70. I had chosen a blind spot at the end of the plumbers' shop to make my escape bid. Under my overalls I wore extra jeans, vest, t-shirt and I had a donkey jacket on that I intended to throw over the razor wire. Hopefully the extra clothes would stop the razor wire from cutting me.
Stephen Richards
#71. It falls to you, Sancho, if you wish to take revenge for the affront committed against your donkey; I shall assist you from here with helpful words and advice.
Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra
#72. Clearly his next tat needed to be more along the lines of a donkey. 'Cuz he was acting like an ass.
-Rehv's thoughts
J.R. Ward
#73. Oh, nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. "Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions.
Rick Riordan
#74. A caveman took a shell, and maybe it had a hole in it, or maybe he put a hole in it, and he put it on a piece of a tail of a donkey or a dinosaur or something and gave it to the cavewoman. She put it around her neck - the first jewel.
Kenneth Jay Lane
#75. I mean, I could just go round and use session musicians for every song, but I don't find that helps when it comes to setting up a band for live. Derrick has been with me for donkey's years.
Jay Kay
#76. I feel that if I could sweep all this away ... all the buildings and the sects and the fierce squabbling churches ... that I might see Christ's quiet figure riding into Jerusalem on a donkey
and believe in him.
Agatha Christie
#78. There may be a lot of things I'm not good at, thought Vimes, but at least I don't treat the punctuation of a sentence like a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey ...
Terry Pratchett
#79. When I interview celebrities, I always try to throw them off balance. My favorite is to ask 'em about crazy sex stuff like donkey punches and Monroe transfers. Works every time.
Rachel Perry
#80. Fear not, daughter Zion," Stephen whispered. "See, your king is coming, seated on a donkey's colt ... " He spun to me, eyes flashing. "This is written of the Anointed One, in the book of Zechariah. You see, it is him! He orchestrates this with intention!
Ted Dekker
#81. A fortune-teller means a braggart anyway. Don't you know that a donkey can't do but braying, a wolf can't do but howling, a horse can't do but neighing, and a fortune-teller can't do but telling lies?
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#82. Dangling a carrot in front of a donkey - or anyone else for that matter - is not nice, and not fair, unless you eventually plan to give it up to them.
Vera Nazarian
#83. Somebody once said that the Irish derived the greatest benefit from the English language. They court it like a beautiful woman. They make it bray with donkey laughter, they fling it at the sky like paint pots full of rainbow colors.
Malachy McCourt
#84. Sobriety sucked the biggest donkey dong in the world.
Sarah Hepola
#85. So, you got shit-faced, spray-painted a barn with a lovely shade of Exorcist-green puke, fucked a donkey while you were there, and started a fist fight with a recovering, meth-addicted nun and her lovechild who were reenacting the nativity scene?
Kendall Grey
#86. Eeyore, the old grey donkey, stood by the side of the stream and looked at himself in the water. "Pathetic," he said. "That's what it is. Pathetic."
A.A. Milne
#87. Looking up, Missouri saw a formation of low-flying P-47's on the horizon, heading up the coast from Naples...Sergeant Missouri laughed aloud. "They're sending us the Air Force, Chico, and we made it with a donkey," he said.
Maureen Daly
#88. My wife, a schoolteacher, very disciplined. If you think I'm tough, trust me, and wait till you see when the children are on the naughty step. It's hilarious. So we decided that I'm going to work like a donkey and provide amazing support for the family.
Gordon Ramsay
#89. If God gave Abraham a ram to prevent his slaying Isaac, He might stick a donkey in the bush for me to ride up this infernal mountainside."
~ Grace Madison, PhD.
N.L.B. Horton
#90. I don't like to watch myself on screen because in my mind there is a touch of George Clooney about me, but when I see it, there is more than a little Donkey from 'Shrek' about me.
Stephen Mangan
#91. *Go cow-tipping.* Close enough to donkey-napping.
Wendy Wunder
#92. When we die, our souls still live. If you are a gangster or a bastard or a crook, your soul inhabits a donkey or something terrible.
Mohamed Al-Fayed
#93. We've had it checked and it reads like the ramblings of a drugged donkey
Chris Morris
#94. The end
When I die bang on cans
Romp around in leaps and bounds
Let whips crack in the air
Call in clowns and acrobats!
I want my coffin to go on a donkey
Decked out in Andalusian style
You can't refuse anything to a dead man
And I want, by all means, go on a donkey
Mario De Sa-Carneiro
#95. When a man has everything and does not know what more to do, he tries to teach his donkey to talk.
Asne Seierstad
#96. My dad likes to recite the story of 'Pablo the Donkey' before dinner to teach us the real meaning of Christmas. Every year, it's the same; every year, we cringe!
Mallory Jansen
#97. When I wrote the song, I had the sea near Bombay in mind. We stayed at a hotel by the sea, and the fishermen come up at five in the morning and they were all chanting. And we went on the beach and we got chased by a mad dog - big as a donkey.
Ray Davies
#98. An uncomfortable marriage can not bear the strain of the death of a beloved donkey.
Merrie Haskell
#99. Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!
Charles Dickens
