Colbert Show Quotes

#1. I get up around 8 o'clock, which gives me enough time to walk dogs and feed chickens and horses. Then I get to work in my home office upstairs, and basically, I don't stop until I've written 2,000 words and/or the Stephen Colbert show is over.

Lisa Scottoline

#2. You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for yourself ... There is no secret society out there that will tap you on your shoulder one night and show you the way.

Stephen Colbert

#3. In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

Stephen Colbert

#4. I was a fan of "The Daily Show" I watched it,I never imagined being on it, but I figured I would just go down there and do my best Stephen Colbert impression.

Aasif Mandvi

#5. We are thrilled that Jon Batiste is joining 'The Late Show' family of products. For my money, nobody plays like Jon Batiste. And you can trust me, because it is my money.

Stephen Colbert

#6. I'll bet every great thinker and leader we've got
Could see all kinds of things other people could not!
So then why get upset if somebody like me
Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?

Al Yankovic

#7. There's a degree of narcissism involved in anything in show business. I mean, you can't do it without a healthy ego. Why would you want anybody to listen to you?

Stephen Colbert

#8. The first time I met Jon Stewart was at the press conference that Comedy Central held to announce Jon would be the new host of 'The Daily Show,' which back then was not called 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.'

Stephen Colbert

#9. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

James Joyce

#10. There are ghosts of yourself scattered everywhere,
Whispers of a moment suspended in time,
Where every life that you've brushed up against
Now lives with a piece of you trapped in their mind.

Erin Hanson

#11. Children are loving, they don't gossip, they don't complain, they're just openhearted. They're ready for you. They don't judge. They don't see things by way of color. They're very child-like. That's the problem with adults: they lose that child-like quality.

Michael Jackson

#12. I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview "wrong."

Stephen Colbert

#13. For my wife Mary Corliss and me, 'Colbert' has been destination viewing. Even in the early years, we never took the show's excellence for granted, agreeing that someday we'd look back on the double whammy of 'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report' as the golden age of TV's singeing singing satire.

Richard Corliss

#14. I do my show half-hour a night four nights a week. I haven't seen my kids in 18 months, and I am losing calcium in my bones. Doctors say I should stop. I'm not going to.

Stephen Colbert

#15. Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it "The No Fact Zone." Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.

Stephen Colbert

#16. I have no shame in making music that maybe, if you listen to it long enough, you'll realize you've heard this or that part of it before. I'm still very excited by an amazingly written song, so that's really the thing that I work on when I make records with people.

Danger Mouse

#17. It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, "I command you to do this." The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.

Stephen Colbert

#18. If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.

Stephen Colbert

#19. With Late Night Show I can begin the search for the real Stephen Colbert.I just hope I don't find him on Ashley Madison.

Stephen Colbert

#20. Both 'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report,' you're working with the best. When you work with the best, you have to raise your game. If you're working with people who are sub par, you're not forced to give 100 percent because you can get by on 80 percent.

Nate Corddry

#21. When I got to 'The Daily Show,' they asked me to have a political opinion. It turned out that I had one, but I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.

Stephen Colbert

#22. Thank God for Occupy and thank God for 'The Daily Show,' Colbert and the rising up that's going on around the world.

Bonnie Raitt

#23. On this show, your voice will be heard - in the form of my voice.

Stephen Colbert

#24. I like being boring to a certain extent. I don't have to be flashy. I get to put all of that into a show, and when it's over, I don't have to be that.

Stephen Colbert

#25. I've done that quite often, but I've got to be quite honest ... as much as you would want to only do one at a time, sometimes projects overlap and there's nothing you can do. Sometimes you to have begin writing a new project just as you're finishing off another.

Trevor Rabin

#26. Sanity, in my opinion, is an achievement. I have seen very few well-balanced people in my life who were not dunces.

Corra May Harris

#27. Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.

Stephen Colbert

#28. We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at us.

Stephen Colbert

#29. I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.

Stephen Colbert

#30. Fanatics clouded by self-justification.

Toba Beta

#31. I gut check my show. I say, I say, "Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?" And Gut says, "Yes it does, Stephen. Let's get a grilled cheese sandwich."

Stephen Colbert

#32. Climbing in the Spirit is accompanied by kneeling, and not by running; by surrender, and not by determination. Despair of self leads to utter desperation; but beyond these mists lies the sunshine of God's presence.

V. Raymond Edman

#33. I recognize that I'm probably the luckiest novelist in recent memory, because Sherman Alexie, a writer I greatly admire, raved about my book on 'The Colbert Report,' and then Mr. Colbert himself urged his viewers to buy it - on his show and on Twitter.

Edan Lepucki

#34. And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.

Stephen Colbert

#35. If you're a black kid, you're going to have hell in your life.

Juan Williams