Top 72 Burglar Quotes
#1. Your money, or your life. We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does.
Mignon McLaughlin
#2. The Saudis have never shown any respect for human rights, either now or in the past. Even a petty burglar faces having one of his hands chopped off. The liberal press in America prefers to ignore all this, although they don't hesitate to blacken the reputation of Iran.
Mohammed Reza Pahlavi
#3. One time, a burglar came to my apartment, so we called the police. My son was here, so I think they left before they tried to steal something. So the police come to my apartment, and they say, 'Oh my God, did they steal everything?' I was like, 'No, it was like that!'
Carine Roitfeld
#4. Modern man threw a brick through his own window in order to sell himself a burglar alarm.
Allen Carr
#5. I may be a burglar ... but I'm an honest one, I hope, more or less.
J.R.R. Tolkien
#6. But he's nice," Barby objected.
Tom Bishop smiled without humor. "Most pleasant and interesting man I ever knew was a burglar.
John Blaine
#7. Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Bill Maher
#8. And here's the burglar!" said Bilbo stepping down into the middle of them, and slipping off the ring.
Anonymous
#9. I'm calling myself 'The Doodler,' and with the simple addition of a small burglar's mask, I achieve utter anonymity.
Chris Riddell
#10. Now I felt exposed, on display like a puppy in a pet store window, strip steak in a butcher case, burglar caught in a flashlight beam, in a word, naked.
Dennis Vickers
#11. Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late.
Rita Coolidge
#13. Mr. Baggins was still officially their expert burglar and investigator. If he liked to risk a light, that was his affair. They would wait in the tunnel for his report.
J.R.R. Tolkien
#14. If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman.
G. Gordon Liddy
#15. I have chosen Mr Baggins and that ought to be enough for all of you. If I say he is a Burglar, a Burglar he is, or will be when the time comes. There is a lot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself.
J.R.R. Tolkien
#16. In that one stolen second, I considered the Glebe girl. She entered my mind like a burglar, them vanished again, taking nothing. It was like the humiliation of the past had been dragged instantly from my back and left somewhere on the ground.
Markus Zusak
#17. Owners who buy aggressive dogs for security may be kidding themselves: The chances that the victim of a fatal dog attack will be a burglar or human attacker are 1-in-177. The odds that the victim will be a child are 7-in-10.
Jon Katz
#18. Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.
Sam Ewing
#19. Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.
Eugene Mirman
#20. When you are discovered by a householder - with revolver - in his parlor at half-past three in the morning, it is surely an injudicious move to lay stress on your proficiency as a burglar. The householder may be supposed to take that for granted.
P.G. Wodehouse
#21. A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.
O. Henry
#22. When I was young and we got caught pinching apples, we got a smack from the local policeman. Today if that happened he would be sued. There is a tendency to punish the victim, not the criminal. If someone broke into my house or my mum's house, I worry that the burglar has more rights than me.
Simon Cowell
#23. I am like a burglar that can't get away, but must go on miserably burgling the same house day after day.
- Bilbo Baggins
J.R.R. Tolkien
#24. Burglars are getting very clever these days. Last night, my wife woke me up, "Darling! Darling! There's a burglar downstairs!!" So I go down, check every room and don't find anyone. Then I realized I don't have a wife and when I went back upstairs my bed and TV were gone.
Steve Evans
#25. Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size.
Maureen Johnson
#26. Our conventional response to all media, namely that it is how they are used that counts, is the numb stance of the technological idiot," he wrote. The content of the medium is just "the juicy piece of meat carried by the burglar to distract the watchdog of the mind." P 4
Nicholas Carr
#27. Smalls, my parents' house is pretty big. The odds are more in favor of a burglar sneaking around than your boy-boy. I can't let you take that risk alone. If you're gonna get murdered, then I'm gonna get murdered with you." She shrugged. "It's what any good friend would do.
Cole Gibsen
#28. time. He also discovered that the burglar was still inside. It was this discovery that ultimately brought Detective Harry Bosch and his partner, Jerry Edgar, to the Three Kings Pawnshop.
Michael Connelly
#31. A rumble gurgled through the space between them.
"Was that you?"
She looked down. "Was that me?"
"That noise. It sounded like a growl."
Well according to you, I am a ferocious car burglar.
Candis Terry
#32. Looking for an honest politician is like looking for an ethical burglar.
H.L. Mencken
#33. A fragrance is like a cat burglar in your brain, it has the key with which to pick the lock and unleash your memories.
Roja Dove
#34. Ab figured that the chance of his recognising it would be about the same as a burglar recognising a dollar watch that happened to get caught for a minute on his vest button five years ago
William Faulkner
#35. I never saw her a burglar prying my windows open with a jimmy to steal whatever she found inside.
Ellen Miller
#36. Who were these people, these specially selected tenants? They were mothers and fathers and children. A dressmaker, a secretary, an inventor, a doctor, a judge. And, oh yes, one was a bookie, one was a burglar, one was a bomber, and one was a mistake.
Ellen Raskin
#37. But she was already in. Gareth couldn't help but stand back in admiration. Hyacinth Bridgerton was clearly a natural born athlete.
Either that or a cat burglar.
Julia Quinn
#38. What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
Woody Allen
#39. There are times ... when any visitor - in person, by phone, by mail - is an intruder, a burglar, a space hogger, an oxygen taker, a chaos maker, a conflict inducer, a mood chaser, and a total drag.
Toni Cade Bambara
#40. When the enterprising burglar isn't burgling; When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime; He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling; And listen to the merry village chime.
W.S. Gilbert
#41. Go face the fire at sea, or the cholera in your friend's house, or the burglar in your own, or what danger lies in the way of duty, knowing you are guarded by the cherubim of Destiny. If you believe in Fate to your harm, believe it, at least, for your good.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#42. After a burglary of all her most valued and treasured possessions, Winston Churchill's aging mother wrote: "That burglar relieved me of an obsession. For years, I've had to take houses big enough to hold all these bibelots. I am almost grateful to him."
Anne Sebba
#43. It is the first time the burglar has been appointed as caretaker.
Gough Whitlam
#45. Would you be so obliging as to tell me whose house this is?' "'Mine,' said the burglar, 'May I present you to my wife?
G.K. Chesterton
#46. I NEVER lost as much but twice,
And that was in the sod;
Twice have I stood a beggar
Before the door of God!
Angels, twice descending,
Reimbursed my store.
Burglar, banker, father,
I am poor once more!
Emily Dickinson
#47. Would he love the house as much if his cat burglar didn't come back for the painting? He pushed that thought away, telling himself he was in the market for a house long before he'd laid eyes on the dark-clad figure running along the rooftop. Long before the kiss.
B. J. Daniels
#48. The best of Donald Westlake's pseudonymous thrillers about Parker, the toughest burglar who ever lived ... Out of print for years and years, Butcher's Moon is the ultimate Parker novel, best read as an installment in the series as a whole but comprehensible and wholly satisfying on its own.
Terry Teachout
#49. He might have stolen her breath the first time they kissed, but there and then - stealthy like a cat burglar - he was trying to steal her heart.
Gail McHugh
#50. Now that I thought of it, perhaps whacking the burglar wasn't quite ... necessary.
It occurred to me that he said "Hi." I thought he did, anyway. He said hi. Do burglars usually
greet their victims? Hi. I'd like to rob your house. Does that work for you?
Kristan Higgins
#51. If you ask any ordinary reader which of Dickens's proletarian characters he can remember, the three he is almost certain to mention are Bill Sykes, Sam Weller and Mrs. Gamp. A burglar, a valet and a drunken midwife-not exactly a representative cross-section of the English working class.
George Orwell
#52. The worst part of it is you don't know if he's barking at an owl, the moon or a burglar!"
"That's one of the drawbacks of a limited vocabulary!
Charles M. Schulz
#53. Morality is a burglar's tool whose merit lies in never being left behind at the scene of the crime.
Karl Kraus
#54. I have an unconscious burglar living in my mind: If I read something, it's mine.
David Eddings
#55. It never occurred to me that one man could start to play with the faith of fifty million people- with the single mindedness of a burglar blowing a safe.
F Scott Fitzgerald
#56. Concerning politics: "The American media is like a watchdog who has developed an affection for the burglar."
Ron Dart
#57. There's gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing
If my burglar alarm starts ringing
The Notorious B.I.G.
#58. A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
H.L. Mencken
#59. A great measure of a man is how he reacts to a midnight awakening when there's no fire or burglar in sight.
Kate Jacobs
#60. My bookshelves were groaning with WW2 books, Hitler's baleful eyes staring out at me from covers and spines for any new visitor (or passing burglar) to wonder if I might be a fan or at least mildly obsessed.
Al Murray
#61. God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because he may knock you down.
Herbert Beerbohm Tree
#62. Gya!! Stay away from me, weirdo! I'll press the burglar alarm!
Peach-Pit
#63. Alleged burglar traced with Facebook account MINNEAPOLIS
Anonymous
#64. You may not like my burglar, but please don't damage him.
J.R.R. Tolkien
#65. I don't like raccoons. They look ... shifty, with their little burglar masks and everything. Also, they carry rabies. Can I catch rabies? Probably not. All the same, it sounds gruesome - and I think we all know that cute, fuzzy woodland creatures are not to be trusted on general principle.
Cherie Priest
#66. She didn't want to be one of those old ladies obsessed with death, hearing it in every tick of the clock and creak of the floorboards, as if it were prowling around the house like a burglar
Stewart O'Nan
#67. I hate watching people blow all operational security, and spew their guts like a teenage burglar, drunk in a bar. We're professionals, for Christ's sake, and she's just a prole.
Bruce Sterling
#68. Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.
Lois Greiman
#69. I had to stop sneaking around girls' houses like some kind of dumb-ass cat burglar. Clearly it got me nowhere good.
Kieran Scott
#70. Monsieur, please stay back. You are old and frail, and I would not have you hurt in this clash.
Paul Tobin
#71. If there is not folly in the world, then the world itself is folly. You must understand that mistakes are not always regrets.
Paul Tobin
#72. The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister.
Thomm Quackenbush
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